Happy #200

I wasn't ever gonna liberate this, then I saw it was post 200 coming up. Aww shucks lol well all I can say is take it for what it is. 1 of the ast times I wrote anything significant besides today. Hopefully there's more to come lol.

Oh and don't judge me this was atleast a good 2 months ago.


I find it funny because I noticed every word that goes unspoken
you know it deep down that's reason enough for a smile
when I'm deep throating but fuck it he's potent and I'm focused
at least I'm trying to be but sometimes I feel like 1000 lies flying at me
thought I found the key for we but its all the same to me just to be floating
I'm choking on the air speed creates wiping nut off my face nigga keep smoking
The hell I wanna remember this for? then I remembered who I was doing this for
"crazy" she says the way the blues and pinks in the sky mesh
She was talking about the birds eyes let the sky rest that was my (most recent) request
So I could get back to the beat that's was keeping a little to quietly for what I'd expect
unless Jess in the driver's seat planned it out that way ok weren't we here for the sunrise
in the first place? I bet this sh*t carry on until the sunset but son set the wall won't let me
see it right anyway positioning's off we botched this up I think its fantastic no shock tactics
Besides its gonna rise high enough for us to spot it so why don't we just stop it spark up
and change topics I won't front the way you rolled the blunt up got me thinking and lately
your boy been heatseeking Mr. Sea King my man was right pipe do make it better
and how she was last night I know I'll never forget her until there's something better
How superficial that ain't really me is it? Man fuck a trick fuck a bitch but Turtle your
sensitive you always lend a shoulder what's gotten into you kid? nothing really I'm so imaginative
I get flashes of emotions like ya'll do that's exactly why I write it places me in a calm state
I can't be fake in your face if we're close enough to go there cause you know a past mistake
doesn't just disappear that shit'll shake the baddest rock until breaks and I'm coming from there
I'm trying to make sure I do go back I don't know if that's a certainty but certainly effort on
display is needed in the worst way curve it away too close who knows who's pretending
ahhh paranoia I wondered when I'd see you again awkward grin when my income lends to
more fun sh*t get used to this jack rabbit in and out because the scenery's shifting
these damn 5 red lights got a beef with me I ignore them when I'm cruising but its harder
when I'm boarding here's a thought I figured whenever I get bored or in need a conversation
I'll just log on my blog post something and wait for Envy to go off he really is what makes my comment section so hot and cause I said he's name he'll probably say I suck cock or my mother's cock but girls know that's so so... naaah lol I said it right that's exactly what I mean too
so really though tell me what's good my dude? How's your life? How's your job? You gotta wife? are you like 12? not delve too far into your personal life I just wonder where you find the time to diss me well just about every time I log on the internet it doesn't make it me upset honestly I'm impressed emersed in mystery unaware of your whereabouts part of me thinks I should be a little scared I mean really think it out it's kind of weird cause I don't know what you about my life my blog I put myself out in the open like f*ck it little suckers will get a chuckle on some real sh*t Ironically I thought it'd be some old chick doin the clucking not that case here... so weird whatever though its all good my mind's going places it probably shouldn't its early i'm stuck already
watching Marley getting dirty chasing birdies wtf is this working? I'm supposed to be getting chased
but I leave that space far too quickly today its afternoon now was that time wasted?
Too many questions so many locked chests what am I left with not the 1st option
I'm 2nd guessing everything so I don't get lost in the middle of the clusterf*ck my mind is quick to put
in the oven let that set baking insecurities I get emails and text that won't let me forget guilty is
my conscious if the mirror's being honest in what it shows me people astonished like he's
actually growing and the pains aint enough to keep me out this game I like playing so I remain in the middle of if it all the terrain's just different it's hardly a physical challenge the pool of talent refills itself constantly there clear? I think my mind has a chemical imbalance I swear it
never hesitates to make an effort to stop even or not I enjoy the tilt because its different and
I've grown accustomed to wanting to chill so predictable basically I'm on when I'm off
routinely stretching the box directing myself to thrills that kill any ill will my insides are harboring still
get a feel for the 'real' the grip of the blue steel aint for me but its there daily so maybe that makes me
harder than you? There's a thought... Blow a knot because I live life sacrficing packed with fighting so any item i'm buying is not to be showing off...


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Unfinished. There's a surprise...  Hope you enjoyed it!

Gone!!                                                                                              



_ _
-/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Beg to Differ

Its just differences in instances that make all the difference. Happy
genesis depressing endings I guess the mystery's in between them. Life
after prior screenings, they went ignored the meanings with the
teachings for kids who were bored so of course deaf ears are what the
lessons peer through. Just to get to you, and your peers been through.
And all in all I kinda feel you too. But you burnt bridges I stuck to
swishers dig the residue. You dug the rubble brought more trouble. Its
all good, but anger started to bubble over. I can feeli it rising
somewhere past my shoulders. Still kept my head...

Its always interesting when you have a liberty or privilege taken away
from you unexpectedly. Mainly how u deal with that missing familiar
thing. Some people don't do well at all, I try to look at it as a
challenge.
God wanted me to do things differently today I can't complain about
that. He's still letting me try and get them done dig me?
Phone's have been on my mind a lot recently. I got the upgrade text
from the boys in blue so I'm ready to make that happen. This old
blackberry don't work like it used to lol
*understatement*
What are the contenders? Iphone (4G) Droid, Blackberry. Maybe HTC I
don't know... So that's apple, google, & RIM. Too much thought will be
going into this decision. Any suggestions? {As if you'd give them, or
as if I'd listen}
So I was walking around in walmart doing what you do when you have no
$ and no olans for the day in the media section (surprise right?). I
see this little white boy bring a cd up to his mom's, kid couldnt've
been older than 10 or 11. It was a copy of 50 cent's the Massacre.
Damn... Lol not to say that's who buy's 50's music, I'm just saying...
Anyway shout out to the universal power that is music right? I wonder
what little dude's moms was thinking though...
My phone cut off and I lost ALL of this. Be proud of me before that
was reason enough to say f it and call it a day. I know where I'm not
though, and I want some of you to atleast rest easy knowing I miss you
too. People can be so fickle with their emotions I guess its important
to me that you feel our interactions were legit.
I was asked if any1 reads my blog. To which I replied yeah about 22
people (that's a low number)
*double meaning*
Got me thinking about how I felt when I first started blogging. It was
a little overwhelming. If nobody was reading it or checking it really
what was the point?
I asked the same question about my facebook page... Now I don't have a
facebook page lol. Maybe I should leave the questions alone? Naaaaah.
Unlike my facebook or whatever else I'm on this is mine. Like really
mine f*ck what them blogspot admins have to say about it. I own this
spot dig me? So before I even realized it this was the spot for me to
be real with myself. Not with you.
I went back and read earlier entries and everything was wrapped in
some encryptic message. Of course. I wasn't comfortable with what was
going on around me, or my surroundings. Thankfully, much of that has
changed, without really changing a thing at all.
I'm just more willing than I have ever been to share with some
specific people. Whoever else catches it along with some feelings and
a shred of investment can stay along for the ride.
Make sense?
Freakbody you taking too long yo! Its like this. You can get out here
asap and struggle with me. Or wait and hope I've figured it out by the
time you touchdown. Your choice, I vote for the former. Who wants to
struggle dolo??
Downtown Sac, Midtown, or Elk Grove. Your choice they're all nice. The
1st two would probably be best for you but its whatever.
We could damn near flip it my dude. I'm an honorary Harlem n*gga now
lmao {east coast boy riiiight?? ;) }what's good?? Same applies get it
set up I'm there.
We gotta get used to moving anyway. I know I'm ready. I know who's
not... Yet anyway.
Borders is fun. I always have fun here, must be the smell of new
books. Or the workman like mentality people bring to surfing the
internet on their laptops. *shrugs*
Its an interesting place. Catching up on my manga/anime. Its been
about 2 weeks since I read the last 1. Smh I do have an app on my
phone for that, but then again this POS only works 30% of the time.
Shout out to Mango! Blackberry users go cop now.
I was feeling down about my 'situation' today and I realized my little
dude Mason started preschool. God bless that child! Stuff like that
pretty much makes it impossible for me to feel upset with what I'm
facing. That's life right there!
*until I call BD*
Speaking of calls today was supposed to be the day for convo's. Still
might be if I have my way. Hopefully you all will pick up the phone.
Cause for me, making calls is like the act of holding your breath.
Sometimes you want to see how long you can go for, but once you've hit
your mark its not really something you want to attempt again lol.
I guess its safe to say I'll be 'holding my breath' for some of you then lol.
This always happens. She's mad cute (doesn't matter anyway) but her
friend's mad cuter (REALLY doesn't matter anyway). Just thinking about
those moments when you catch yourself allowing your imagination to
take you on those 'what if' trips.

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Clarification needed?
Ehhhh.
I'll pass this one to the left.
'No stress no stress at alllll! No stress no stress at alll!!'
Gone!
--
Sent from my mobile device

This is 50

Just sick of the hate. Dead*ss.




I don't think I'll ever get tired of listeing to this guy's interviews. Especially if it means I get to see normal looking people with accents like this one. 50 makes some great points (he usually does) though.

*lol at normacly. oh 50...*

Gone!
_ _
 -/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Heart's Kingdom

Sitting here watching Kingdom Hearts being played while trying to get through my own RPG adventures is bringing up way too many questions. Its these times when I start to feel like the camera needs to be rolling.

RPG's are the dark horses of Western gaming anyway, so acceptance is something fans (of RPG's) can relate to wanting or not needing.

*???*

Just the image of goofy and Donald going ham on monsters is a little much. Its more than a little much lol but its accepted. Lol its more than accepted too, I wonder why exactly that is. Sure kids would see it and immediately feel a sense of relate-ability, but what about the hardcore audience?

In some way, allowing the 'even more so' enchanting presence of Disney character's to a fantasy affair could've and probably SHOULD HAVE turned the 'hardcore' crowd away. Fact of the matter is it didn't because the game was dope as sh*t. It could've been taken for what it wasn't intended to be.

The integrity of RPG's and squaresoft(enix) in general were really front and center, and thankfully all that needed to be said was 'play the game'.

I'm searching for THOSE times lol. Nah its not about a game. Its about the mindset that allowed the game to be approachable without sifting through layers upon layers of unnecesary bias.

Lol it's STILL weird to see that sh*t though.. The question I'm trying to answer right now (FF7 fans stand up) is how important is the umbrella to me?

*the Tiger head was FINALLY slayed and I said f*ck an umbrella she's dead already lol*

Slow Sundays usually involve getting absolutely nothing done. I'm regretful to not be able to buck that trend today but I guess more down time can't really hurt.

I can't wait to get back on my Mayweather sh*t. I'm damn near there I just aint found the heart to actually go work out lol I'm gettin up in the middle of the night though. *rolls eyes*

'We talking bout' fiction hold up, pardon my back' - Hov

I can't remember the last time I was at a wedding, or if I've ever been. That's weird, but I guess that's one thing I may never have to do. Not hating on marriage even though my faith in that isn't too far off from how I feel about the church. RIGHT NOW anyway, there's always room for change =)

I think I pulled something messing with my conditioning partner. Groin region. All bad. =)

Got me to thinking watching Marley run all things considered today was a fairly good if not unproductive day. I say that with a huge smile and giddy feeling of excitement for what the night may bring.

I know I'm taking 30 minutes out to assume my role as Huey (from the Boondocks. Watch my show geez) after that who knows. If u haven't noticed the fantasies are where its at for me lol.

Hopefully sleep shows up tonight with a pillow a glass of rosé in 1 hand and some nyquil (or whatever put's u out in the other) OD? 'Ehhh' lol. Its whatever if your concerned the phone will be on til I pass out.

How bout these playoffs though?? Still going with LA to win it all. Against... Orlando. Yep, and that's AFTER their game 1 loss to an ever impressive Boston team. Can't those f*ckers just fall off and NOT bounce back for once? I thought it was going to be Orlando/Cleveland but you know...

I'm picking Orlando because they clearly looked like the best team in the playoff pool this postseason {playing straight gumps}, and I believe after the shock of playing a real prepared playoff team, they'll shake off the cobwebs and come to work.

Let's be real their team is built to be dangerous as sh*t and more times than not they succeed.

Suns have looked good too.. Lol that's all I have for them.

Orlando in 7 for the finals rematch. Honestly I wouldn't mind seeing either 1 of those team's going up against LA again, so its all good in my book. Just wish LeBron would've had his sh*t together this year.

Damn there I go... ^^ .. I wish LeBron's teammates had their sh*t together this year.. And he didn't turn the ball over so much lol

Looks like my episode is getting mixed reviews. What ya'll didn't like the social commentary? Lol smh...

Gone!

_ _
-/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

They Shooooooootin Nah Flow Stupid!

The last post was supposed to belong to the Kid. he's dead NICE!




Who knew right? I thought Jo Jo was the rapper... Whatever Jo Jo is corny. (Sorry Diggy *Kanye Shrug*)

Gone!

_ _
-/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Chess Club Shine

Asher Roth - Muddy Swim Trunks (Directed by BBGUN) from bbgun on Vimeo.




3/10 or 3/9's of the all-city chess club. I just wanna hear what ya'll got! who's gonna get outshined? Word is Asher BODIED the 'I'm Beamin Remix'! Hmmm I don't know...

All-City Chess Club includes:  Lupe Fiasco, Diggy, Blu, The Cool Kids, Asher Roth, Charles Hamilton, Wale, B.o.B., and DJ Skateboard P!

Gone!


_ _
 -/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

don't front for me

This blog is gonna be a monster! Lol how many times running is that now?? Anyway I'm only feeling that way cause I feel like I have enough to write about to last a long while. I wouldn't lie to you (purposefully) now!

'For you and me tomorrow's not promised' - Mos Def

So just as I started to set into my reliance on technology it showed why I should forever remain fearful. Losing stuff I weite is familiar territory for me though so I guess just deal with it.

Just sick of the double standards!

'What's next to me never seems to be what's best for me. Exception...' - Jean Grae

It is what it gotta be I suppose. I gotta say I've been feeling some kind of way about the people I'm grinding with. I mean I know the work I'm putting in with and without them... Its just part of me feels like its my time now.

Listening to this old Weezy 'the youngn' (500 degreez) lol this n*gga was ill yo. It got me thinking about where he's at now and how he's allegedly been living his life. I guess people can only put up with so much for so long before they drastically change to find the acceptance they're looking for. Possibly self contentment.

All I'm trying to say is in some kind of way his ambition drove his desire for our love in some sick way.. I'd want to be high and f*cked up all the time if I didn't like my reality..

Not to say he's wack now, he's just really not at all what he was. Everybody kept alil something *shrugs* pause pause.

.I've been meaning to check out this *new* Diggy Video. The one I saw was crazy! (Did I post it already?) Over Nas' made you look. Kid's nice like I said. Speaking of which when are we getting that remix Lupe??

All-City Chess Club let's go!

This past night I prior to waking up (maybe.. Not sure). I had a conversation with my sub consciousness.

Anybody ever have dreams you can't remember? This was kind of like that, just not a dream and I remember it kind well *shrugs*.

Well, not really. I was asked a question with 3 options. All I remember the outcome being was my mind made up to believe 'it doesn't matter cause they don't care'. Boom! I'm awake. Heavy stuff? Lol chiiiilll.

There could be more on my end. All I know is I remembered it and it definitely wasn't a dream. More like an internal struggle if I'd classify it. Whatever the case I think its safe to say its psychological. I just what to understand what before I can delve into why.

happy church day! For those going. I'm right here clearly NOT going but there's a reason for that. 'Turtle the Heathen' lol. Nah I love God I just want my faith and beliefs to be ultra strong across the board.

*the board consists tentatively of*

Spirituality, Love, Family, Friends, Desires, Ambitions, Self Appreciation/Belief = Self Understanding, Self Depreciation/ Regulation = Self Discipline

{*Lord let her stay sleep! (My voice is too deep! :/)*}

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Of course each group has its own unique subgroups, that may or may not tie into another 'theme of the board'. My point being all these themes are NOT on an equal playing field in my head. For me, its hard to give 1 area immediate and full attention if I'm already weary of the product and who's selling it.

'Fear is a queer if you stick our your rear' - CH. Right??

Well there's no opportunity for me to get *ss raped here. I'm taking baby-steps all across the board. Well I have been but whatever. Especially when the subject at hand is religion.

I'm a spiritual person. I love God. I do not love the church. Why you ask? Its simple, I can't readily identify where my spiritual beliefs have taken advantage of any one group of people ever. I can't say the same thing about the church.

Likewise, I CAN say I've been to churches (my own in some cases) and sat there feeling like someone behind the scenes was playing all of us for fools. Fear of 'the man' maybe.

'Jones'n for poetry instead of the dough. I mean hey, ya know? Even the pope needed dome. I'd just rather a b*tch than grabbing the d*ck of a 3-yr-old' - CH.

Basically for now I'm perfectly happy searching for my own religious answers. I have a Bible I know how to read and interpret, who knew? I have Muslim homies, they like to talk lol. My eyes and ears are open.

I'd LIKE to find a comfortable Sunday spot, but when that happens I won't go blindly following what's being preached. Every n*gga I know be preaching lol dead*ss.

*people can be so ignorant sometimes. Its unnacceptable when you don't try to see the truth for what it is. That's when I cross over and ditch the nice words and settle comfortably on Idiot. Thanks*

G-G-G-Gone!
_ _
-/Rebel2Society\-v(**)