Misunderstanding.

I will be single, alone, and miserable for a long time. The equations really aren't that hard to set up, nor are they difficult to decipher. My lifestyle wants subtract from my needs. My own stubbornness allows me to carry on knowing I'll lose in the end. Some would argue it's stubbornness I'm even still here at all. Call it what you want but I will become, stay, and remain single due to a misunderstanding.


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History says a misunderstanding will do much more then land me 'alone and miserable', but I know what I'm saying, so there it is.

Somethings I can't even begin to comprehend sometimes so I say shout out to Alex cause she's playing the same game I am. No telling on whether or not she knows she's losing too, I haven't gotten that far in with her yet. As I'm typing this I'm wondering if content needs to be edited. I've tried to be more open about my happenings and that hasn't really faired to well. Hence me losing.

Feeling awfully sick right now very suddenly.. Need a bathroom..    

That was intense.

Reminds me I wasn't supposed to write anything on here. Apparently this is where I go to talk bad about Jessica people whenever I feel like I'm catching the wrong end of the proverbial sharp stick. well *my fault miss lady, my fault.*                                                

I love Marley she's mine but I think she's been mad at me. I'll snuggle you when we sleep tonight baby!

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Too much.


Words are being too kind to me. I should do well to remember to return the favor, but in this case it probably won't happen before I pass out. I'm tripping, remembering things old and new all at once. I hope my stuff's charged up..

smh at the direction this went.

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Holds true for everything, this entry is complete.


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 -/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Blankness

I'm getting drowsy do you know why? Probably not but it's underlined everything on here to both fb spots... and then I stop.


Feeling like going in NOT feeling like going in. I don't like feeling indifferent to my own thoughts. I SHOULD care more than I do, yet I'm okay knowing I care as little (which is more than you anyway) as I do.

These are random placements of basic thoughts brought together by blankness brought over by an overanxious mind.

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K I'm done being bored on my blog, sh1t there's supposed to be everything for me to do on here yet, I'm rambling... again... I can't help it I'm loving the interactions I'm getting today and like I said up there I'm feeling drowsy lol. I swear today is 1 of them days I let my mouth get me into trouble (check) and I make people raise those eyebrows as curious/worried/angered onlookers. It's all good though I know who I'm talking to!

Ok so this paragraph will bring some focus to this whole thing.. Friends, and I use that word very hesitantly. Please don't feel like it's a problem to speak to me about issues. I'm not the 1 to feel intimidated in front of or speaking to. TRUST ME. I guess I should just say check the blog, and then see what I mean. This is stemming from friends of mine not really opening up with me, which is fine, you definitely don't have to. I just don't want the reason you don't to be because your Pnoid bout being judged, cause that'll NEVER be the case. EVER.

Anyway I want to be able to help people, especially my friends. I don't have very many, and they (you) should know I care about them a great deal. I love you all. Like deadass with a late pass. Get that Eminem in your system #NotAfraid

I told a friend today my blog told a story... Then I thought about it, and yes it really does. I'm sure you can get too much information about me from here, and I'm sure there have been multiple changes and evolutions. Maybe I should highlight the ones I th.... nah never mind, its there if you want to.

I made the distinction between blogs and notes, and then preceded to not use any notes! WTF? Well those are coming to. There'll be artists quotes. Important/unusual information relative to me and my closest peoples! ... So you might wanna stay on top of those when they start dropping on the Turtle's page.

Yoo speaking of which (shout out to Margot just cuz n1gga! lol) Chris Wilson continues to get more play/run/action than my n1gga Turtle.. Doesn't make sense but whatever. Maybe it's because Chris is naked and Turtle doesn't have a real face? Whatever, like I said, stupid.

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As in who's dictating all this?

Anyway I'm literally being summoned away now. The evening better prove more peaceful then the first part of my day it's curtains for me holding my feelings back. Which could be a good thing... right? shouts to Jessica Mean Bear Davis!





Feeling in love *MUAH*




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 -/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

See my ears are different.

Which 1 do you think came 1st? Lol it's Hilarious how much this n1gga be talking to you.






*having mad b1tches is looking shakey...*








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 -/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

What I really meant was

Why people think me walking away is me throwing something away? Don't quite understand that, I feel like I've been throwing sh1t away for quite some time, and I just started understanding that. See I knew I was trash or resembled such because I was discarded, and left in the muck. Dirty as what's on the inside of the street sweeper trucks. The lining of bucks becomes rare to the touch, I've come to like the holes in my hands. Liking is an overstatement but the hole left from my man's is still strong standing or floating... But get some money honey I know you got yours, kinda left me floored. Sick of being ignored but that's a "tossup" at the worst. More cents might prove to make dude rude and lose sense, but a humble streak peaked out with 1 inch and 6 feet. Terrible things wait, let me pop up. I got incredible grooves to change moods if I wanna. Baby talk. You know I'm gonna do whatever I gotta, but let me hit this first get on with my lazy walk. 2 in 1 not 2 for 1 that'd be a good deal. Word to the cigarette shop around the corner from the spot with the 5 red lights.. not a night so I'm not over there but maybe a close by night will find me back over there. With my stolen fears looking up at me, I wave goodbye happily.  To the left of me she, but even she shape shifts so frequently forcing me to travel back through the past just to find a pretty memory. Went left, and got left. Went back and got blasted through reality checks... You know so society could say whether or not I passed it? What you think? Like, really, did I pass it? Let's just assume I'm in the back of the classes. Paying more attention being quietly more attentive then the people in the front of the class. So they say look at this classless ass spazzing in here. They don't care that I'm dirty poor and hurting let alone hard working. They got a problem with me cause I'm not there! Come on, I can't be everywhere... Can hardly stand to be inside my head. Hard to stand without reaching for my meds. Pretty long lasting prescription for what I've been depicting. Feeling invincible could be good or bad, when I get to feeling like that my actions aren't sensible. Get a bag fill it up with my most important stuff. Contemplating if bringing my dog along will make it all too tough. Lying on my back wondering how the stars see us, until I'm blessed enough to seal them shut on my own. Feeling like home is where my feet are. That's pretty hard, or soft... Laughing in the grass I feel its time for my mind to sneak off... Really i was NEVER there so here, and hear understanding to why I speak soft... Still moving, on lost but at least it's not off...


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 -/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Conversations with Rubin

I've been having some deep talks with Rubin trying to let him voice his concerns with where I'm heading. First off I tell him be cool, I know it's tough dealing with me my dude but just know that we are in it together. I think he understands now.

Which means new sounds can now work towards being accepted. It's been silent for too long.. Well not really, but I don't consider your noise audible noise. My dude proved that a LONG time ago, but I just got it last night.

106 n Park is just interesting.. I see what ya'll like though, and I'm not mad. Just trying to understand, and that's where I'll be (mentally) for awhile. Do you think it's backwards to gain understanding of others through music they may or may not accept? I wonder...

I really should point out I'm in a very bitter part of my life. Meaning I feel like a veil has been pulled over my eyes while I've been spun around for greater disorienting affects. The results is me not giving much of f*ck right now. I'm telling you cause it honestly scares me knowing I'll act 1st and think later. There's no telling I'll be guaranteed my later diggeth?

Getting kind of weird now...





*tacos then pop up then well... tacos*



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 -/Rebel2Society\-v(**)



hold u down

Just Wow.

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I can't plan stuff like this. Can't do it. Love that I can't, and it still happens with such perfect timing. My time is everything besides little numbers like this. Enjoy, this is my favorite song off the GodleebarnesLP.






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1st heard this on a solo excursion in San Diego. Wasn't really 'solo' but at the time I was walking around looking for a bathroom, food, and girls. Well not for girls that would be dishonest, I was looking AT them though. Least I could do all the guys naked out there anyway, I require even playing fields... too much...


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 -/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

When 2 plus 1 doesn't add up.

Aka when your chick and you music no longer coexist.

See I can zone to my music all day with or without some1. I'd prefer it to be with some1 else just so I can see how outer space my thinking is when compared with their earthly views. *chuckle*

However, half the time I don't get their opinion at all so that's neither here nor THERE lol. The worst is when I get an opinion that isn't theirs at all. Why curb what YOU think cause I'M weird?? Makes little sense to me.

Moving right along. Few things can compare to the joy that comes over me when I get ready to listen to unheard music. *rephrasing* (f*ck it)

However I DO have a girl won't even shout her out cause she's close to the end of my shout. Trouble comes when I have this other "chick" I'm trying to f*ck with. My excitement can't be messed with I'm telling you that much now. Consequently (essay style), my b1tch clashing with my chick. You figure out who's who cause I'm done thinking I know to find some1/thing new.
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... Which would make me excited if you were...

These 2 keep conflicting with each other amongst other things. You sheisty b1tches need to watch out. Shout out to my habits I only care about.

*1 and 1 and 1 and 1 and 1* <<=== a lot of habits


Lastly, love to those that take time out to understand me amidst the bullsh*t you surely must have to sift through to get dude, or me, or him too.

Just not looking good for relationship season... But you'll know cause Uknow!

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 -/Rebel2Society\-v(**)