I'm F*cking terrified.
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-/Rebel2Society\-v(**)
Now it's this, blame.. Yup, I do.
Sunday, April 24, 2011
it doesn't even matter
I find that no matter what is being stated I fall under some form of fire. With that said, I feel no way about how my fristration will play out. After tonight, its the wrong 1.
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-/Rebel2Society\-v(**)
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-/Rebel2Society\-v(**)
Cause I'm so damn proud of me
Seems to me there's no begging at all. Just a bloated sense of entitlement.
*But mistakes have proved...*
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-/Rebel2Society\-v(**)
*But mistakes have proved...*
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-/Rebel2Society\-v(**)
FaceTime
I see people are quite comfortable on the internets with their significant others. Me too. lol smh... Starting to get the feeling the ultimatum was me damn. That WOULD suck, and if that is the case where's the loyalty? It's all good some decisions are harder to come by than others I know that much, so I can't hold too much against any1.
I still think about if I could do it. I mean I've done it but always been open to interaction. Like if I was contacted cool, I'm not pursuing the interaction though. Relationships... U gotta be willing to conform right? So if the other was just dead*ss not cool with something then you have to come to some sort of agreement before both parties can move on healthily.
That's where I messed up. I was, or thought I was ok with something I wasn't. I can say I haven't thrown any friends under the bus that didn't f*cking go throw themselves out into the middle of the f*cking highway during Rush hour. Lord that was dumb of you. Which is to say I've never ever turned my back on a friend. I can hardly think of when I've turned my back on an enemy. It's just not in me.
You can become an enemy if that's what your aiming for. That would be hurtful, a lot is going to be hurtful regardless there's just no turning away from that; but malicious intent? Not too sure I could ACCEPT it like I have in the past.
I'm trying to get to a point where I'm accepting less and dealing with more. Meaning I don't want your bs, I don't want to kill everything I'm doing to accommodate your plans. Next, after acceptance is dealing with being by myself.
Clarification is needed.
In a relationship, physical or not (friendship) both people are aware that they have somebody to lean on. They can confide in that person... Think of it like an extra bullet in the chamber. So let's say you had plans to do something and they got cancelled, well you know you have that bullet in the chamber. You can fire off your gun and possibly hit a target of relevance(No 1 love). When you don't have those relationships you don't have those extra bullets in the chamber.
Understood?
So while I may tend to spend the majority of my time alone, I always, ALWAYS have the option of that person. Not having that option will take extreme getting used to. I'll do it if need be because that's what humans do, live and adapt or die. I'm not ready to die, I think I might, but I'm not ready yet.
The thing about life that I undoubtedly love is it really doesn't give a f*ck whether your ready or not.
I have an empty gun and I'm used to having somewhere around less than half a clip dig me? I'm not angry. I don't harbor anger anymore, just understanding. Peace will follow. Hello to another cycle.
_ _
-/Rebel2Society\-v(**)
I still think about if I could do it. I mean I've done it but always been open to interaction. Like if I was contacted cool, I'm not pursuing the interaction though. Relationships... U gotta be willing to conform right? So if the other was just dead*ss not cool with something then you have to come to some sort of agreement before both parties can move on healthily.
That's where I messed up. I was, or thought I was ok with something I wasn't. I can say I haven't thrown any friends under the bus that didn't f*cking go throw themselves out into the middle of the f*cking highway during Rush hour. Lord that was dumb of you. Which is to say I've never ever turned my back on a friend. I can hardly think of when I've turned my back on an enemy. It's just not in me.
You can become an enemy if that's what your aiming for. That would be hurtful, a lot is going to be hurtful regardless there's just no turning away from that; but malicious intent? Not too sure I could ACCEPT it like I have in the past.
I'm trying to get to a point where I'm accepting less and dealing with more. Meaning I don't want your bs, I don't want to kill everything I'm doing to accommodate your plans. Next, after acceptance is dealing with being by myself.
Clarification is needed.
In a relationship, physical or not (friendship) both people are aware that they have somebody to lean on. They can confide in that person... Think of it like an extra bullet in the chamber. So let's say you had plans to do something and they got cancelled, well you know you have that bullet in the chamber. You can fire off your gun and possibly hit a target of relevance(No 1 love). When you don't have those relationships you don't have those extra bullets in the chamber.
Understood?
So while I may tend to spend the majority of my time alone, I always, ALWAYS have the option of that person. Not having that option will take extreme getting used to. I'll do it if need be because that's what humans do, live and adapt or die. I'm not ready to die, I think I might, but I'm not ready yet.
The thing about life that I undoubtedly love is it really doesn't give a f*ck whether your ready or not.
I have an empty gun and I'm used to having somewhere around less than half a clip dig me? I'm not angry. I don't harbor anger anymore, just understanding. Peace will follow. Hello to another cycle.
_ _
-/Rebel2Society\-v(**)
Catch my Balls MuSucka!
HEHEHEHE!
The kid in me is doin backflips! BACKFLIPS! lmao
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-/Rebel2Society\-v(**)
The kid in me is doin backflips! BACKFLIPS! lmao
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-/Rebel2Society\-v(**)
convincedindecision pt.2
How much we forget. how quickly we drift.
^Refer to pt.1 and you'll understand why. I understand within highs floating off life.
*I keep em*
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-/Rebel2Society\-v(**)
^Refer to pt.1 and you'll understand why. I understand within highs floating off life.
*I keep em*
_ _
-/Rebel2Society\-v(**)
Interesting Observation.
If I travel around suburban neighborhoods on foot listening to music I am viewed as a threat. If I travel around suburban neighborhoods on foot with my dog while listening to music, I am viewed as a threat. If I do that with my dog while listening to music with R2-d2 on my back I get a pass.
If I travel around hood neighborhoods on foot listening to music I am viewed as another n1gga aka a potential threat, but for the most part cool. If I travel around hood neighborhoods with my dog while listening to music I am viewed as a threat. If I do both those things in the hood with R2-d2 on my back it's fight or flight.
Not to say I know why this is. In fact, I've gone places I probably shouldn't be with R2 won my back and been fine. In most cases no1 messes with me. There are those few though... Moral of the observation, don't go where you shouldn't be and if it is absolutely necessary don't go alone. The question being why? More thinking to find that out... Wild guess says it has something to do with race and gender but hey, what do I know.
*So Roni's With me cause he's the OG*
_ _
-/Rebel2Society\-v(**)
If I travel around hood neighborhoods on foot listening to music I am viewed as another n1gga aka a potential threat, but for the most part cool. If I travel around hood neighborhoods with my dog while listening to music I am viewed as a threat. If I do both those things in the hood with R2-d2 on my back it's fight or flight.
Not to say I know why this is. In fact, I've gone places I probably shouldn't be with R2 won my back and been fine. In most cases no1 messes with me. There are those few though... Moral of the observation, don't go where you shouldn't be and if it is absolutely necessary don't go alone. The question being why? More thinking to find that out... Wild guess says it has something to do with race and gender but hey, what do I know.
*So Roni's With me cause he's the OG*
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-/Rebel2Society\-v(**)
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