The list

1st off, motherf*ck RIM. That's all.


1-)Well This isn't Awkward

10 Things I Hate About Me

335

808's And Heartbreaks

Al Boo Boo

American Gangsta: Who is Charles Hamilton?

American Gangsta V2.0 Where Is Charles Hamilton

American Gangster

Apollo Kids

Aquemini

Asleep In The Bread Aisle (Lark on my go-Kart, I love college)

At Most I'm Just...

Atlantis And A... ('08, '09,'10)

ATLiens

Attention Deficit

Ayo! These Niggaz Went Hollywood

Back Like Cooked Crack 2

Back To The Future, Back to The Haze

Bastard

Be

Below The HEavens

Bitch Mob Respect Da Bitch Vol. 1


Black Star

Blueprint 2 The Gift And The curse cd1&2

Bonus And Unreleased Vol.2

Brooklynati

By All Means Necessary

CH Songs (change title)

Charles Hamilt-ENDS (group)

Charles Hamilton Random Iphone Music (Group)

Charles Hamilton's Attempts at "Swag"

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

College Dropout

Come Home With Me (Oh Boy, Come Home With Me ft. Juelz San, Welcome to NYC, Hey MA)

Confessions (Special Ed Remove Ipod)

Continum (REmove Ipod)

Corpse House

Covert Coup

Crime Pays

Da Drought 3

Da U.S. Open

Death is Silent

Death of a Pop star

Dedication 2

Despicable Me (despicable me)

Detroit Deli (A Taste of Destroit)

Diplomatic Immunity 1&2

Distant Relatives

DJ Skee Presents: And Then They Played Dilla...

DJ Skee PresentsL Crash Landed

DJ Skee Presents: Death of The Mixtape Rapper

DJ Skee Presents: It's Charles Hamilton

DJ Skee Presents: Sonic The Hamilton

DJ Skee Presents: Staff Development

DJ Skee Presents: The L Word

Doctor's Advocate

Doe or Die

Doggystyle

Donuts

Dope2Go

Elmatic

Encore

Enemy of The State: A Love Story

Every Charles Hamilton Ex-Girlfriend's Worse Nightmare

Fear of God

Finding Forever

First Order of Business Side A&B

Flashback Vol. 1 Back to the Future

(For you locker)

Gaughos

Get Rich Or Die Trying

Goblin

God's Son

Graduation

Grow Wing Pains

Gunz N BUtta

Gutter Rainbows

Gynophobia

Hamiltonstrumentals

HerFavoriteColo(u)r

Hip Hop Is Dead

Hi-Teknology 2: The chip

Hot Sauce Committee Part 2

How I Got Over

I Am

I Am Not A Human Being

I F*cking Hate Rappers

Idlewild

Illmati

In My Lifetime. Vol. 1

In The Jaws Of The Lords of Death

Infinite

Intervention

... is a bi-polar rabbit

It Takes a Nation of Millions to hold us back

It Was Written

It Was WrittN

January Rush/No Competition

Jeanius

Jesus LP

Johnson & Jonson

KIDS

Kingdom Come

Kush & OJ

Lasers

Late Registration

LAX

Liberation

Like Water For Chocolate

Liquid Swords

Lupe Fiasco's Food & Liquor

Lupe the Jedi

Man On the Moon II: The End of Day

Mania!

Mic Check (L Word3)

Moonlighting

My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy

My Brain is Alive

My Heart

Nastradamus

NHF

No Competition

No Genre

Normalcy

Nostalgia, ultra

Nothing (Deluxe Edition)

Odd future Tape

One.

Only Built 4 Cuban Linx


Outside Looking

Overnups

O(verly) D(edictaed)

Paid in full:Deluxe Editiion

Pink Friday

PirateRadio

Pretty Boy Millionares (Birth of Rap)

Reasonable Doubt

Recovery/(Deluxe Edition)

Reflection Eternal

reInstrumentals

ReIntervention

Relapse

Relapse Refill

Resurrection

Return Of 4Eva

Revolutions Per Minute

Ronald Dregan Dreagnomics

Ruff Mixes (Everybody)

School Was My Hustle

SD2

Segahamilton.blogspot.com

Shut Up Already!!!

Sir Lucious Left Foot The Son Of Chico Dusty

Slaughterhouse

Slim Shady LP

Slum Village (Retail)

Snap Crackle Pop

So Far Gone

Songs About Jane (Remove ipod)

Songs In A Minor (Remove ipod)

Speakerboxxxx The Love Below 2CD

Spelling Bee

Starchaser Radio

Sth2: HD (The Scroll of Beethoven and Machiavielli)

Stillmatic

Street's Disciple

Strictly For Snapping

Sunshowers

Supreme Clientele

Tafietu

Teflon Don

Tha Carter II

Tha Carter III

Thank Me Later

The Adventure of Bobby Ray

The Binge Vol.1 Staring At the lavalamp

The Binge vol.3 :Charles Hamilton's Last Mixtape

The Black Album

The Blue Lavalamp (M/A/T/E: Mirrors Are The Enemy)

The Blueprint

The blueprint 3

The Bonus & Unreleased: Freestyle Edition

The Bonus & Unreleased Vol.1

The Bootleg Of The bootleg EP

The Carter

The Charles Hamilton Project

The Chronic

The Come Up Mixtape Vol.1

The Cool

The darkside Volume 1

The Dead Zone

The Dena Tape

The dynasty - Roc La Familia

The Ecstatic

The Eminm Show

The Essential Michael Jackson

The Evil Jeanius

The Family Sign

The Fix

TheGenie of the Lamp

The Good Sun

Thge Great Adventures of Slick Rick

The greatest story never Told

The Hardest Mixtape EVER muthafcuker

The Hunger For More 2

The L Word II: Lust and Love (INcomplete)

The Lady killer

The Lavalamp Zone

The listening

The lost Tapes (retail)

The Marshall Mathers LP

The Minstrel Show

The miseducation of Lauryn Hill

The Piece Talks

The Pink Lavalamp

The Power of Illumination

The Return of the magnificent

The Slaughterhouse EP

The Soul Tape

The Warm Up

TheGODleeBarnes(lp)

This Perfect Life

Tical

Time Is Money

Touch The sky Mixtape

TrunkMuzik 0-60

TUFLI Tuesdays

Universal Mind Cntrol

Unkut.com

Untitled

Vol2 Hard Knock Life

Vol.2 Dream Marchant

Vol 3 Life And Times OF S Carter

Vol.4 Escape From Harlem

W. A.R. (We Are REegades)

Well Isn't This Awkward...

What The F*ck Is a Jay Electronica

What Life Gives You Lemons, You paint that shit Gold

Where Is Charles Hamilton?

WICH

Wu Massacre

Zero Heroes

Yellow/White

You've Got Mail










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-/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Interesting Message

I'm doing my morning thing, and I see I have an interesting message on facebook. "Read your blog. Just thought you should know"

Hmmmm

Well thanks now I know. I can't decide whether to feel slighted, or ashamed, but I'm a quick decision maker and it can't be the latter. It just can't, sometimes it has to be f*ck how you all feel, cause your taking a random moment on a random day to check this, I'm literally talking myself through some stuff. I guess that's why there were apologies noted on the same place you found reason to need to be apologized to in the 1st place.

I'm not perfect, but I certainly own up to my mistakes. Maybe ya'll should try doing that as a friend to me for once? Just a thought... I know I'm not the only 1 that's been f*cking up in a 'relationship' and now being out of that hey you get what you get. I'm an *sshole with feelings that usually go unnoticed.

Even people I've made a point to spend more time with don't come to the realizations or ask the questions I would expect. So yes, I'm going to be that way until I can find some1 in deep within the reality that is real everyday life to help me. I'm LOOKING so hard, and that's why I've found nothing.

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Sorry for the display of disrespect and animosity. I just ask we start looking at the 'what could/did I do to make this situation worse?'

Cool I'm on my zonin type sh1t today. Gotta get it in early, and since it's most definitely a solo thing (People don't keep the hours I keep unless they live in London or the East coast. Even then it's a stretch) I can feel myself being exhausted, I have a lot of heavy questions weighing on me.

I've become quite the talkative body on Twitter and Facebook. Well he has I've been observing. Obviously to compensate for something I don't have.

Death is certain, death is silent, and at times can arrive through violence.
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Still learning how to deal with death while maintaining a distant fascination of the unknown.

Last night was probably the worst feeling I've felt... all I could think about were things like this:

Up late fatigued in my face and it shows we closed that book all of a sudden I have feelings in droves couldn't do a thing about em decided to watch our old shows, Like am I suppose to just ignore those? Hard to laugh, tried to think back on what would make you crack, burst into laughter, but with each outburst a pitiful pain would come after. Man f*ck this new chapter...


Over and over and over and over and over! Never wrote a thing still haven't (until that right there, which was honestly more like closing my eyes and recapping). Being alone is giving me the confidence to speak to myself though. Literally. See I'm quite angry, very bitter. I don't know why yet but I know that my attitude is on FULL on display, and I don't give a f*ck. I'm a big *ss baby I've heard it enough, but I've also always tried to hold my tongue. What for though?

I'm not trying to offend anybody I just want to know what I'm feeling. Do you understand that's what the blog helps me do?? I've kept up with EVERY1's sh1t lol funny I don't pop up here or there or feel some kind of way when ya'll get disrespectful, human nature I know, so it is what it is.

Although I do wish some of you would have the guts to say some of your 'thoughts' to me, it's still all good not even an issue.

Before I get into the musical spiel, let me say Charles Hamilton is nothing like Talib Kweli. Won't go into it, just leave it at that.

Yesterday I kinda got into the 'evils' of the music we listen to. YES EVIL! When you hear me speaking on this type of stuff don't think for a second I'm standing over 'there' talking about what's going on 'here'. I'm involved because I love this sh1t. I talk about it because I love this sh1t. Think about this, I love movies, I mess with ALL kinds of movies. Music's no different, I just take it more seriously, and it should be taken that way it's too powerful of a tool to just ignore the pull it has.


I asked some friends what they thought about Kanye's transformation as an artist from College Dropout to now. I didn't get very far though, the answers were too vague and didn't really speak to any general aspects that he may have transformed from and/or into. ie. flow, delivery, lyrics, beats, etc. So while I received absolutely nothing I was looking for I discovered part of what I already knew. Girls don't really listen to music like that. If they do clap for yourself and them, your the minority in a major way. Yet, girls buy the music... See the issue there?

I just get baffled when people are ignorant as to what it is they are consuming. Who goes and gets a random dish of food without knowing WHAT it is, but knowing that it IS a combination of a bunch of different unhealthy foods???

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Sounds ridiculous right?

Anyway the darkness of the music right now is killing me. Random lines thrown into lyrics with no explanation... "oh it'll be a beautiful death. Jumping out the windoww..." Kanye Power.
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It's the easiest 1 to pick right now. Let me ask why you would want thousands of people at a time singing this in unity? That's some cult sh1t in my opinion. The more interesting fact about it is people DON'T realize that they are singing such a morbid action out. Leads me to believe that the powerful backdrop is a means to confuse and or disorient.

There's so much more... you got Jay-Z's "and Jesus can't save you, life starts when the church ends.." Like really? Guess what else is interesting. I listen to this stuff, my spirituality is admittedly no where near the level it used to be. That could be a direct result of a bunch of things.. Just saying stuff like that is EVERYWHERE in today's music, and people are so dumb they don't pay attention, they just consume.

SMH

I'm still looking for THAT convo. Yo Jess, you are amazing with that, the more I'm talking about it the more I realize you were basically on point with it. WTF was wrong with me. I mean sure we disagreed and I still believe most of your disagreements are based in stupid person bias' (like most all things we disagreed on. Check.) but, at least you had information backing things up. Well, more than what I've come across lately. Quotes, breakdowns. Your ill with it.

Now to curb these negative feelings.

*Half past sleepy time*

But it's 8AM. Today may be a long 1, I want to nap so I can at least enjoy this high. I'm learning a lot from some of the more aware socially conscious programming around believe it or not.


"alcohol and drugs are used to cope with trauma, and the feeling of isolation" Don't even want to say where I got that 1.

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Just had a brilliant idea though.. Get some. Rummage through the alcohol at my parents' house

Get high, Zoloft Woodstock, get through the day. I need to make phone calls and I'm doing that thing where I sit while letting my thoughts paralyze me. Too much work to do.


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-/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Pondering Logix.

Chill no typo.


Realization was just made... Would I be wrong to take and post from say more 'personal' sources without permission like I do these videos, pictures, and anything else I feel like posting? Would I?? Because I REALLY want to... Struggling with what to do here, controversy just makes things more interesting I'd say. Besides its SOOOOO BORING out here lol.

You ever notice the 1's that complain about having nothing to do often DO nothing?? Another observation.

I'm over good doing nothing, because when I'm doing nothing my mind is doing the most. *Gotta go coolio* (That means it's getting too hot)

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They don't get it.

BIG ups to Pac.



ILLY!!!!! OMG I didn't even rea... yo...








_ _
-/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

People think I'm crazy.

I'm not f*cking crazy. They be jacking my mans is labeling the sh1t new. Nah b F all that, I don't know how I feel about this.







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*EEWW N1gga u gay*

Peep the song choice and the verse that was chosen to cover it too. SMH

#FreeCH

_ _
-/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

This is crazy yo..

I'm off. Let's just put it that way. I'll be off for awhile so deal or don't. I'm feeling accomplished and proud, but it's so sadly ironic those feelings have left me with a sick pit in my chest. Yikes... I'm in a difficult place. I'm absolutely terrified to go back to the place I feel the greatest discoveries were made. Consequently due to my 'lack of ambition'(so wack), I'm feeling like I'm going to lose it. Whatever 'it' is, in this case it's a lens I've been looking through providing me with spectacular yet hard-to-watch-all-the-way-through-without-cringing-or-looking-away observations. I DO feel bad, but now I'm just a little lost with where to go now. Nothing surprising it's to be expected. Thus, leaving my days lukewarm and lousy the reason it's coming back to structure, back to... Sense(s). My ego is stupid. I have no reason to display the confidence in such a way, when I feel so low. People really don't get it. You get low enough your just not going to care either way. Numbness takes over. So my 'confidence' is just 1's misguided perspective.

Talk about learning lessons, I've been smacked with heavy 1's all week.. I think I lost too many important things word to my Beats. I'm feeling like my directness is going to get me in trouble, but F*ck it, tell me I have a problem. Cause I have a problem with those who choose to be passive when I'm open to your criticism in the worst way. Hoping for it really. I think some friends are getting frustrated with the way things are playing out. I notice, but I'll say nothing. It's not my place to. I'm the f*cking fly on the wall.

I'm actually mourning believe it or not. I need to be careful with how I word this because it's bigger than me. I'm mourning due to death. Something I don't completely get, definitely something I have trouble expressing. I Feel too much once again...

Yo I think the wackest thing about me is I can sit down and express fairly accurately how I'm feeling, but when face to face all the thoughts and emotions hit a dead end. It's like I literally see them crash into this barrier that's been put up and I have no clue what to do with them, so I do nothing. Wishing all the while I would do something. I feel like that now. I felt like that with Coach Bugalski. Different coach still skiing, get it together yo.

People need me to be strong, because in THIS life there's plenty bigger than me. I need to act like it.


On some bunny to a rabbit type sh1t. Scary is the unknown.

Anyway, I want to be me *FREE* freely, I'm sure toes will be stepped on. *shrugs* I'll try my best, put it that way.

Think about this though.. getting clean to get dirty. OD.



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I think writing this way is MORE confusing thing letting words free flow into rhymes. Interesting...






_ _
-/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

All my BEezy's

Yeah your right he's so disrespectful you don't deserve that he's a jerk he's a fool and an asshole. Not worth the hassle he puts you through the mental and physical abuse all the trouble when all he does is break you down to rubble. Kick you like rocks hardly tell you he loves you definitely doesn't show it. Ain't been working for how long? Still claiming that he's focused. Thinks he gets a pass for bein a half ass 4th rate poet. Come on girl you and I know it, and this is YOUR chance now, don't do something to blow it. We can go out get some drinks get loaded. I know you hate being grounded tree's on me I'll keep you floating. Call a couple guys; Asians won't do right? Right I gotcha I'm your beezy say it with me 'IT'S GONNA BE A GOOD NIGHT EVERYTHING WILL BE ALRIGHT' aight coo coo hella crackin I'll keep you away from mics chopped samples and crazy book bags, and anything else that might make you want to slap him. Or even ask him a question it's best to just get your mind off it. Don't look said I told you we off it. Me and you, you and I this the life. I gotta go live mines so I need to make sure you see the light (before I'm gone). How about a change of scenery? It could be nice... I know that look though look hoe being cold as ice ain't the way. You think he's tripping you think he even cares? My god you gotta understand you were living out nightmares. Taking everything you hated along with all your manifested fears. That left you alone and angry at night texting me in tears! I hate to see you here! So take my hand I'll be your baby today. No problems you not we not REALLY gay. Might think a women or two could get it but never questioned who's who. As in me being me, and you being you. I'm type rude you deal that's why we're still cool. Take me for example, yeah I made some mistakes. Every time I did you were there in haste taking your proper place. The grand reprimand always came with offset with some fairly good truths. So I no when you reprove it's cause you want me to do the right thing. Oh M GEE, he's... kinda on my fb, my tumblr too always liking things I say or events I do. I can kill it boo off him, it's nothing to me. Whatever's gonna bring you happiness will be. Y for... You know... no more Uno for you. you need me pick up the phone whatever I can do to reduce the stress of what your going through. True friend sh1t here's to our friendship let's toast up and pray we don't come across you know who getting to pensive. F*ck he's so damn offensive. Most boys are men are too but he's a far cry from a man. Pitifully broken obviously needs a hand to guide him through the mud cause he sinks where ever he stands... Here's the plan we're gonna pinky promise that we'll always be honest and do our best to understand 1 another. your like my brother, I mean sister both in a way though. Basically family that's a whole lot to say so cherish it cherish me I absolutely believe in you. Your family does too... Your dad loves you. The fats been trimmed there's nothing above you. Life didn't end it's starting. This From the heart I LOVE YOU... You crazy beezy.








_ _
-/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

20/20 cause I'm 730

In hindsight nothing seems right, and I suppose that's the way it's going to feel for awhile. I let things out to reach a plateau I was desiring from myself, and admittedly it was wrong and disrespectful. I stand by what I said because I know the image that's upheld in my head, but others can't see that. I didn't take a minute to think about that when I definitely should have.

I'm honestly somewhat relieved because I feel like 'me' is finally out the bag. The more people know how irresponsibly corrupted I am the better. Things have gotten awkward, and it's probably best to just fade to black on some other sh1t. I can't control the situation anymore, and busting past breaking points is something I've become adept at. Only this 1 isn't really bending it's snapped in half.

Jess I'm sorry.

Nothing really left to say to you.

Kiki I'm sorry.

Nothing really left there either.

I just would like those people to understand my lashing out came from a place of betrayal and pain. I was hurt by you, and instead of communicating that like a normal responsible adult, I hid it inside of me for too long until...

So yeah I was wrong, I was definitely in the wrong. I'll work on me, you work on you and maybe someday it'll be cool like we used to be. Don't party too hard, you got some crazy friends.

I truthfully won't be able to go back, this time will probably find myself exploring things I've always been too timid to look into previously. I'm still going to be scared as hell, but I find solace in my solidarity. I don't like it, but peace of mind is peace of mind.

If you ever miss me, like I miss you now go to youtube (or here)and play this...






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Jess is rolling her eyes or wiping away tears with a smile *muah*... Every1 else didn't listen. It's all love, just sometimes we hurt those we love the most. Off it to the office.







*Whenever you need me... I'll be arouuuuuund*



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-/Rebel2Society\-v(**)