As my Sun says 'hello'

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I couldn't think of a more obnoxious way tosay it. I'm the life of my party over here too Diddy. Smh... Well time to put those great ambitions and goals on that high up mantle piece. Or should I be trying to get the ambitions and goals down??

Regardless it's the real morning. Things must get done. Things must be avoided.

Special attention to that last sentence. And THAT last sentence wasn't even complete. THAT last sentence was a fracture...

I could go on and on with that... I'll pass. The video was obnxious enough.


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-/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Was I wrong??

I questioned T.I.'s relevance upon his return and Rick Ross' rise. I don't know if it was justified or not. To hear me tell it, Tip's buzz isn't where it used to be. That doesn't mean I'm not waiting to hear new music from him. I think T.I.'s 1 of the dopest (heh) doing it right now. Really interested to see where he takes this album.





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-/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

3:24am while I'm waiting

2 completely different vibes. All ME though. Don't miss the plane. Don't get caught wanting 'the old me' either. I find that people tend to want to challenge things they don't understand. Don't do that with this.

Any1 notice the grittiness vs. the cleanliness??


Times sure are changing.



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 -/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Midnight Hours When I Brood

I don't know what to think. I was ready. All in. Now it's back to being a toss up of sorts.

Lately, I haven't had much energy for anything. Like I'm sitting here typing this paying attention to how difficult the task of inhaling and exhaling has become for me. My body just feels tired. My mind feels cloudy.

My soul feels damaged. Things that put calm to me in the past no longer have the same effects. For the first time in a long while I feel lonely WITHOUT the company of other individuals. Which is to say the constant company of individuals hasn't deterred my mindstate from feeling lonely.

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The reason I don't really mind feeling lonely while being alone. There's a part of me that feels like this is somewhat of a 'warm up' (shout out to J.Cole) round for what's to come. I can only hope that isn't the case, but like all things time will tell.

Time has all the answers and I'm terrified to commit to it sans hip hop purposes.

Can you imagine how LeBron must feel? I don't know, having all of tha responsiblity placed on your shoulders is a big deal. I don't really think about it how every1 else seems to be. To me, it's more of a question of whether or not LeBron feels guilty (which would be natural) at the thought of leaving.

To be fair it's not like Cleveland had much before LeBron either. I guess I'm trying to point out the decisions to depart from the people that helped elevate you to a point where departing was even possible.

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How to deal with that I wonder... I've been paying for all this hope with frustration, getting disillusion back in change. I'm just sick of it all.

My stomach is going nuts right now, so it's the perfect time to realize I've eaten what sums up to be basically nothing all day (night and midnight hours). My body is spazzing on me. I feel sick, then fine, then hungry. Repeat that cycle with less hunger and add in sleepy. I feel like I'm always sleepy...

Space bag... I could use that.

I have no idea where to store all of these things. Go figure.

It used to feel energized by these late/early nights/mornings but now I remain up counting hours until the sun comes back out. Either that or pass out to awaken when the sun is coming out. There's no more excitement just a sort of acceptance to it all.

I don't know. My head is hurting. All I can think about is what I would take with me in the event I find myself in a less than ideal situation. Minimizing what I've become known for by those close to me. Which would be sure to bring passengers of my car a sigh of relief.

Tomorrow I clean out the car. Tomorrow I wash remaining clothes. Tomorrow I pack. Not much, enough to fill 2 backpacks. Then I live.

 Marley's condition is still to be determined so she may have to chill for awhile before joining me, but if ever I need a shoulder to lean on I know her head will do.

*she sleeps so peacefully*


Fushigiball.. I want that.

Feeling sick again... This time with no phone has done something to me.  numbers will no longer be stored if I ever decide if I'm fortunate enough to get another 1, there's really little to no point anymore. I just need my Grandparents in there and I'm good.

I feel like tv takes a huge hit 3-6am. I may be victim of not watching very much, but the options I'm seeing are not very appealing. What I'm reading however is. Less tv more words for me. If I'm not passed out in the next 20 minutes, I'm sure I'll be in the same spot making my keyboard feel wanted.



UNO


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 -/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

P.S.

I win.


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 -/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Desensatized

People have a knack for pissing me off when I don't really have a means to nip it in the bud with a smart*ss strategically planned social network jab. It's ok as long as I can speak my peace. Even if the rest of the world doesn't get to see me make accurate rebuttals. I just can't STAND when some1 says I don't mean something I said I dead*ss meant.

I'm growing weary of those who are quick to put a situation out there, and just as quick to retreat. It's simple really, if you f*ck with me my genuine nature shouldn't be something that comes as much of a surprise. I'm me, I don't try to be something I'm not, and if I did I wouldn't be very good at it at all.

Phoniness is a deterrent I've long strived to push out of my life. I guess all this rambling on and on does very little to help the current situation/nonsituation. What I mean by all of that ^ is don't get caught in my life being phony.

Just don't. Dead*ss though why??

Is it fun to live behind insecurities? Hell no.  So who the f*ck is the genius who said let's allow people to befriend 1 another, just so long as they are dishonest and insecure about the truth's they may encounter. I'M HUMAN! I FEEL THINGS! WHAT'S MORE, I KNOW YOUR HUMAN TOO! SO GUESS WHAT THAT MEANS!?

I know you feel things too..

I try to carry myself as if it WERE me feeling whatever it is you feel. Not because I like doing it, but because I like caring about people I think/feel care about me. I like being able to return that happy feeling some1 gives me with just a look.

People poke fun at my behavior all the time, and that's cool. Just so long as I know when any of those people needed me, I didn't relegate them to the back. I showed the same love, respect, and curiosity throughout. In a a nutshell, I was ME.

I want to thank my father BD for being so damn stubborn. I cried for my man's Dale and Sean today. I love their babies more than they'll know, and I can't WAIT for the day yo... Let me leave it alone.

*Happy Father's Day*




Gone!

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 -/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Can U Show Me?

This Drake song is my absolute favorite!! I'm really digging it u right now. listening to it on repeat, I just can really relate to the message at the moment. Or at least what I feel t message is supposed to be. It's exactly how I've tried to live my life out.

I'm here now, might as well have fun. So show me a muf*cking good time. I know how to have them and I'm confident I can elevate any situation open minds are present. People, all I want is some vice versa love.

"Then why are you always so quiet and mopey all the time??"

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Knowing how to have a good time and actually enjoying the times your in are 2 completely different things. I know I can throw my happy hat on if need be. I also know how fake that is in my heart. I hate being fake. I'd rather lose it all then have to sit with my mouth zipped.

Dead*ss My life is evidence. I'm trying to figure out who took notice. If you never reached out to me before I'm not 1 to boast about the ESP I don't have lol. Meaning I really can't read minds as much as I try to. Furthermore, I don't really do for others when others remain oblivious to the entire cause.

Little things make the big things go.


Gone!

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-/Rebel2Society\-v(**)