Why am I not on the couch??

There's a reason I excel at video games, internet browsing, and any other activity you can do by yourself. I'm just more relaxed and at peace chilling in an atmosphere that isn't geared towards communication. I mean I am Socrates (socially anyway)remember? Anyway I'm just going to think about watching the Laker game with my buds lmao.

LA's about to close it out too. I wasn't even going to have anything to do with the gym today, but I have a feeling after I see the game I'm going to want to hoop. So that's probably where I'll be.

I've been trying to catch up on everybody's blogs. I'm almost all up to date, and when that happens I'll have a new blog about the blogs lol. I want everybody to read and appreciate my blog, but I have to return the favor too. That's what connecting is all about right? Step your sh*t up so I can talk about it!

Back to being out of place in a socially inviting atmosphere. I don't like it one bit, especially since I'm either still gone or just incredibly groggy due to just waking up, whatever the case I know this was discreetly pushed upon me. Whether that ends up being admitted or not I know what it is.

I'm convinced marijuana is the single most prevalent item in all of my problems. Not me smoking it lol but for whatever reason its been involved.. Somehow.. Now if the Barber would just pick up the phone ;)

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None of that should lead you to believe that I'm in a bad mood, cause I'm not. Just a bad place, well not really, just somewhere I'd rather not be, because there's other places I'd rather be seeing type of thing. These people do have some crazy stories though.

Shout out to my big brother (the real one that people don't know exist lol)

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And my pops (the n*gga that could have made him. Yeah.. Lol)

Family has definitely been putting some things in perspective for me lately. Even my mom albeit indirectly (she blacks like no other dead a**). Its time to really get everything in my life on the right track. I gave you all a glimpse at the whole athletic side, and that's all going just as I planned (a few minor setbacks). As far as securing myself in the competitive world of today, more progress needs to be made.

I'm moving fast toward home ownership, who wants to throw me a party? <<-- definitely joking. Show up to my crib with your party hat and your a** is staying outside. Bring an extra ps3 controller, and we can talk lol.

Today is too slow, I'm stuck wanting to speed things up a bit. Not that I want it to be late, I'm just trying to find some inspiration, like now dig me? Barber called inspiration stalled.. For now. Can it get anymore random? I'm back to reading YA'LL blogs. Gone!

Rebel2Society

And Another One

Don't really know about this one lol. Let's just say I was trying to spazz on myself, and at some points I think I did. This is kind of weird putting all this out there for everybody to not pay attention to but who cares? I'm not supposed to, especially at this point during the night. (come on kick in already!!) So enjoy it or don't, whatever...


Oooooo (<--actual title lol yea, wtf? Huh?)


Sometimes I find its hard to decline the little time that's truly mine I'm minding my chiming regarding my friends rewarding my pen with rhyming I think we like it I know she like it we fighting I'm writing quickly think lightning

she see it now she's smiling she wilding saying I'm the next kid now I'm smiling damn we shining trips me out we fell out she was like fuck it keep grinding and that amounts to the trust she gets from me bitches bounce now please

yeah I be looking what can I say I mean my hearts tooken taken I'm saying none of ya'll looking like crooks shit I'm straight a little late in my understanding that she came to win ok

game on then let me start playing I feeling like displaying my articulation with manipulating different statements placing them over your dense skull sitting on your shoulders heavy like Ionno I'm trying not to be cliche

so can we just say what I have to say will have ur mind dealing with a lot of weight I think that's fair but not to be mistaken with the white powder base I'm trying to flower my base with words behind bass though the bass you can't hear or feel...(I'll let u in on a secret if you promise you can keep it)
Gone!

Rebel2Society

Ivan what's good though!?

Wooow Remember this so vividly, it was dark out there to me because everything I came in there with was somehow stripped from me. Gotta love what Kansas taught me though. this was more or less me trying to make sense of a falling out with my brother (roommate) Ivan. I love that dude regardless of where we were at and where we are now. Enjoy or don't whatever... (Lmao that's like the official introductory sentence)

True Love (frustration)

I know I'm blessed in life god did me right but I'm stressed my mans is like fading from the light matter of fact to say it best there aint friend in sight and I'd say its been left that way for quite some time now bow out gracefully is what I tried to do these people chased me until I cried a few times let my tears just slide down my face

as I'd drive no destination but the music's there so just riiidde frustration got me over thinking everything people are puzzles the weed is the pieces so I light up and try to think up a thesis as to why we so indecent but every time I see it my stash gets vented meaning I smoked it all blowing the contents out and confessed my recent sins to myself problems put on the shelf I'll be hearing from them

no drugs so say hello to my alcoholic binge all this to search for a reason something that makes sense and can explain our mind state actions and intents but listen I'm just a dude that finds it funny what extended fam will do when their hurt or confused look can't help you cause your trapped inside your mental

letting her use u like a tool and its wack to sit back and act like your not being a fool I understand that its painful shit I went through it too yeah yeah u talking years man I was four deep my dude you need to move or move on or cope with what's she's on but mostly just be strong

cause I loved you for that when we first connected but all this depression is leaving me depressed kid you filled the void that my older brother left me with but as the year went on I felt like I was doin what the older brothers did she broke your heart and that's when it started

you a shell of yourself homie and that's why I departed sit you down can't talk to me like a man I'm just trying to help at the very least understand what's goin on inside your head because in mine I'm dead

this isn't me and countin on that cali soil to set me free a touch from she all that just to let me be bumpy road ahead of me but I know there's something god's telling me this can't be for nothing no mistakes from upstairs so fuck any excuses your all selling me.

Gone!

Rebel2Society

Practicing Restraint

Michelle catch up! Lol nah I have been trying to write more though. No point in having it there for no one to see but me though... Well there is but yeah, enjoy it, hate it whatever..

(She said listen when u dealing with me don't make promises you can't keep)The air's still smoke fills empty space as I lay with a gaze fixated on the (my)haze(face)smoke circulates in a peculiar way as I create different shapes with my fingers what a game I wonder if its the same for her laying with jane I'm saying

we be on the same plain every day and when it goes down we on our night thing but hey against the grain is how I like to play I'm open she know it so she let it slide and when I'm by her side I know regardless of whatever we're alright but what about the night when I'm zooooooonnnniiiiiinnnnnnnggggg

she's all allllooooooonnnneeee and my presence can't touch where she stands huh!? Can't reach through the phone to put one on ya used to be I couldn't dial your number stress piled me under bags zips halves and nicks that you provided with your own money clips yeah that's it I aint forget that shit but for the moment I'm not on it clear sailing no drama no tonic though I stay with the juice

no chronic cause I'm saving that for you chess game? Maybe my Bishops go hard in the middle just a riddle cause I know I can be quite evasive but this is not the place to be great stunting with your knights put those away kid!

learn your history you'll find its way creative better yet learn the game the way we did and there it is are you still playing with me? Laying there half covered in sheets aint heard your voice in a minute but what is speech? when we communicate through breaks and beats snares and kicks the craziest did I just hear..

Nah let me rewind that shit lyrics you know I'm laughing now right koo-laid style like my smile might outshine the lights its that bright baby I finally get it I'm just that nice lol let me stop.. And come back just to say this is better than whatever other written's on display and its dedicated to you and the spot where you lay

thinking on all of it I wish I could put your thoughts away or mine at the very least my words could make your thoughts ok daydreams or nightmares we share everything from love to movie chairs but beware there are those who don't care peep their evil stares but its like shotpullin we just bust em out the air I take a little yell pull bust a shell and I'm cool

I gotta vent to you hence my stint spent trying to repent for all my shit without you baby I got you and I can't live without you there's just something about when we're out even if...

(Yeah its unfinished.. more throughout the day )

Gone!

Rebel2Society

I'm almost cute again! (sun rays mean fun days)

Lol just felt like sharing that. I've been in fitted hats since my head was bust open (yea I know its grammatically incorrect surprise surprise) and today is the first day I shed the hat. Simply because my eye is looking better (almost healed no scars plz!!), and I got some of the craziest waves on earth! Lmao dead a** though. I'm getting it in early today starting things off right. LA is going to win, I'm going to stay disciplined, and people are going to smile.

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I like that, matter of fact I want to make this the first stress/argument free day of the summer. Spazzing is not an option. Anyone who tries to go against this today will be put down by my waves lmao. I need to stop..

*random*

I love the innocence of a child's hello/hi. Puts a big a** smile on my face every time.

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Kids on the way? Lol let me stop, I don't think about how the things I think about are perceived when I'm happy. YOU KNOW!!

*dont stop the music, never stop the music!*

Gone!

Rebel2Society

Its not like im crazy or anything..

Just different, ya'll know the drill. I'm socially Socrates, because I'm assuming he locked himself in the house and only mumbled incoherence to people as a substitute for conversation. Why would Socrates want to talk anyway? He was probably too busy being a genius. Not saying I'm a genius, but I do be busy doing me lol. Socially awkward I know I'm weird just deal with it if your not used to it.

This isn't supposed to be a long entry by any means. I think I'm going to leave my spot and walk over to the block myspace, facebook, and twitter live on. Maybe, definitely don't feel like walking, but then again I did a bunch of stuff I didn't feel like doing today. Progress is the key to any attainable goal. F*ck how long it takes you to accomplish, just keep digging away at it.

Just completed my backup plan. Feels good to know that in the event that 2011 doesn't go as planned I'm good with a legit second option. Money will be made in my life lol. Not that money is my goal in life, because to me that's wack as sh*t. I want to chase passions. I am chasing passions. I think the best part of it all, is bringing the people I grew up with along with me.

There isn't going to be any turning my back on folks just cause. I'm fully prepared to reach out and grab the willing. They'd do it for me (I think..). Anyway, I'm just excited to see the future. An attainable future at that. For now I AM trying to attain money, but not for the sake of getting paid. This is more like "my foot's in the door now where from here?" sort of thing.

*random*

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I'm riding to the airport with Jess, and we are talking about old a** cartoons we used to love growing up. Hey arnold, doug, rocko's modern life, Darkwing Duck, x-men, spiderman, etc. I could go on and on, just know I was/am a cartoon head. That includes movies and such (ask me what my fav. Movie of all time is.), really I'm a big nerd but that's ok cause I'm Turtle, and that's how I get down lol.

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Speaking of which I recovered all alter ego's today, pretty cool.

I want to shout out all the blogs I follow, everybody keep doing your thing. I've been slacking lately but I'm about to have an appreciation thread for ya'll. So keep it ill! Gone!!

Rebel2society

Black Donte prelude?

I tend to try and give people exactly what they deserve after I've been rubbed the wrong way. Mind you, this is all from my perspective, which means something minor could be monumental in my eyes. Not saying people have to walk on eggshells when dealing with me, because I wouldn't judge someone I just met without really getting to sit down and get to know them. If I do know you, it still doesn't mean be extra cautious I'm just saying...

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Sorry to those that have caught the evil coming out of me. You probably deserved it, but I'm the type of person that feels ashamed (of myself) if I lose control of my emotions. And yes I'm an emotional person, I'm not sure if its very apparent though. Anyway, situations recently have caused me to lose control for brief moments. I do not want that to be the case anymore.

I see a problem I start working on how to fix it. Regardless of how long it may appear the problem is going on, if I know about it is I'm Workinonit!! (Inside joke right Charles? Lol uh yeah we've been in touch,
DEAD ASS)< --Pause

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I'm thinking I'm about to get WAY more personal on here. I mean its my f*cking spot right? I really have to stop considering others in the sense that my needs are important too. Sacrificing is cool (especially when people have no clue your sacrificing for them) , but sometimes it takes a lot out of me.

Which brings me back to what I was trying to say, all tangents aside. I'm an emotional person, but today I was emotion-less. Basically didn't care about anything, well I did until I was set off. Whatever, LA lost too! Though I didn't/dont care. I tried to dig myself out of it but no luck. I blame it on the music-less house. Walls of trust have blasted down, and safety (and sanity) reside where I lay my head to sleep. Just that one room. Other than that, outside (my normal environment ie. Anywhere I can be seen), or the gym. Dead a**.

I wanted to get at ya'll sooner, but something told me to go through the whole day first. I guess it put things in the right perspective, at least if I'm seeing through right lol (that's over your head trust me!) Hopefully, today can continue to be productive on my end. Plans have already been cancelled, so we'll see what ends up being the case.

"Mos" Definitely going to stay communicating on here though. This is where its at. Apologies if you are scratching your head as to why the connection was interrupted on other forums (myspace, fb, twitter, etc.). Its just that I remodeled in here, so I'm kind of not leaving for awhile lol. Today is all about inspiration. I'm finding some right now writing this. I'm GOING to have to find some more in order to do what I know I'm supposed to today. Definitely writing something though :)

Actually excited about how everything could possibly turn out. I'm about to go practice terrible dieting habits. Which reminds me, an update to what's going on with me is coming sort of, I think.. More information is coming. That works better. Aight that's plenty.. Gone!

*History on repeat Mos and Kweli blacking over a soulful Dilla beat*
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Rebelmusic

Rebel2Society