Now it's this, blame.. Yup, I do.


Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Hold up 1 time!!

I just wanted to take this early morning slot to address a couple things real quick. I know I've been on some gone with the wind type sh*t, but I just want EVERY1 to know I'm not fronting 1 bit. I've been contemplating getting away without notifying a soul.

I have to be very careful with my words when I try to explain this to others because I don't want to be labeled incorrectly. Basically I'm trying to be as positive as I can right now. I know for those that see me it's 'all good' but that has more to do with me feeling I have a responsibility to uplift those around me not bring them down with my own problems.

Notice there's no label for how I'm feeling being tossed out by me. That's more because PROfessional analysis is on it's way in the near near near near future. I guess my thing is this, being in the position I am leaves an open window to peak at all things trendy, fake, and downright wrong... I should chill with my opinion.

It's LIKE this (not that), in the grand scheme of things I'm better off then a lot of people just because of the blessings BD (and mommy) made sure I had. Those that know me KNOW what it is, yet if you KNOW me when have I ever thrown any of that in YOUR face? When have you heard me talking like the over privileged kid?

I say that to say don't laugh or scoff while rolling your eyes when I say I can't because 'insert $ related issue here'. It doesn't help I have multiple habits to kick... Ahhh where was I going with this...


"he aint giving them sh*t he's just pinching pennies so hard/ he'll leave a bruise on the bronze so dark/ you can see the mark when it scars/ til Abraham Lincoln is screaming out 'AHHH!'/" Eminem Almost Famous.

I've found myself holding back with a lot of you because quite frankly I'm not comfortable trying to 'live it up' like you. The crazy part is 'living it up' doesn't have to be what you would expect. At least not in terms of HOW MUCH is being spent, and would it really matter if you have 0 anyway??

Not that I can't manage, I do that everyday lol. I just can't manage the thoughts that I think your feeling/thinking. I can't manage what I imagine. there.

I try to be open with how I think/feel, but most of the time I feel like that works against me. Meghan knows because I've tried to voice some of those frustrations with her before. Only to be left frustrated. If people can't get it that's fine, I just ask not to be judged like I don't make ANY f*cking sense. F*ck outta here with all that.

People need to start doing some f*cking homework before pressing their opinion on an unsuspecting mind. I've been this way for a minute, a long minute. Think the opposite of New York.

I've rambled on long enough saying half of what I meant to in the 1st place. It's cool peep the song. I'm on, I have another busy day full of mysteries to get to. Catch me if you can!

*I'm the nerd that's cooler than Fonzie*

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Or am I just... Senseless?