Now it's this, blame.. Yup, I do.


Friday, May 20, 2011

The list

1st off, motherf*ck RIM. That's all.

1-)Well This isn't Awkward

10 Things I Hate About Me


808's And Heartbreaks

Al Boo Boo

American Gangsta: Who is Charles Hamilton?

American Gangsta V2.0 Where Is Charles Hamilton

American Gangster

Apollo Kids


Asleep In The Bread Aisle (Lark on my go-Kart, I love college)

At Most I'm Just...

Atlantis And A... ('08, '09,'10)


Attention Deficit

Ayo! These Niggaz Went Hollywood

Back Like Cooked Crack 2

Back To The Future, Back to The Haze



Below The HEavens

Bitch Mob Respect Da Bitch Vol. 1

Black Star

Blueprint 2 The Gift And The curse cd1&2

Bonus And Unreleased Vol.2


By All Means Necessary

CH Songs (change title)

Charles Hamilt-ENDS (group)

Charles Hamilton Random Iphone Music (Group)

Charles Hamilton's Attempts at "Swag"

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

College Dropout

Come Home With Me (Oh Boy, Come Home With Me ft. Juelz San, Welcome to NYC, Hey MA)

Confessions (Special Ed Remove Ipod)

Continum (REmove Ipod)

Corpse House

Covert Coup

Crime Pays

Da Drought 3

Da U.S. Open

Death is Silent

Death of a Pop star

Dedication 2

Despicable Me (despicable me)

Detroit Deli (A Taste of Destroit)

Diplomatic Immunity 1&2

Distant Relatives

DJ Skee Presents: And Then They Played Dilla...

DJ Skee PresentsL Crash Landed

DJ Skee Presents: Death of The Mixtape Rapper

DJ Skee Presents: It's Charles Hamilton

DJ Skee Presents: Sonic The Hamilton

DJ Skee Presents: Staff Development

DJ Skee Presents: The L Word

Doctor's Advocate

Doe or Die






Enemy of The State: A Love Story

Every Charles Hamilton Ex-Girlfriend's Worse Nightmare

Fear of God

Finding Forever

First Order of Business Side A&B

Flashback Vol. 1 Back to the Future

(For you locker)


Get Rich Or Die Trying


God's Son


Grow Wing Pains

Gunz N BUtta

Gutter Rainbows




Hip Hop Is Dead

Hi-Teknology 2: The chip

Hot Sauce Committee Part 2

How I Got Over

I Am

I Am Not A Human Being

I F*cking Hate Rappers



In My Lifetime. Vol. 1

In The Jaws Of The Lords of Death



... is a bi-polar rabbit

It Takes a Nation of Millions to hold us back

It Was Written

It Was WrittN

January Rush/No Competition


Jesus LP

Johnson & Jonson


Kingdom Come

Kush & OJ


Late Registration



Like Water For Chocolate

Liquid Swords

Lupe Fiasco's Food & Liquor

Lupe the Jedi

Man On the Moon II: The End of Day


Mic Check (L Word3)


My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy

My Brain is Alive

My Heart



No Competition

No Genre


Nostalgia, ultra

Nothing (Deluxe Edition)

Odd future Tape


Only Built 4 Cuban Linx

Outside Looking


O(verly) D(edictaed)

Paid in full:Deluxe Editiion

Pink Friday


Pretty Boy Millionares (Birth of Rap)

Reasonable Doubt

Recovery/(Deluxe Edition)

Reflection Eternal




Relapse Refill


Return Of 4Eva

Revolutions Per Minute

Ronald Dregan Dreagnomics

Ruff Mixes (Everybody)

School Was My Hustle


Shut Up Already!!!

Sir Lucious Left Foot The Son Of Chico Dusty


Slim Shady LP

Slum Village (Retail)

Snap Crackle Pop

So Far Gone

Songs About Jane (Remove ipod)

Songs In A Minor (Remove ipod)

Speakerboxxxx The Love Below 2CD

Spelling Bee

Starchaser Radio

Sth2: HD (The Scroll of Beethoven and Machiavielli)


Street's Disciple

Strictly For Snapping


Supreme Clientele


Teflon Don

Tha Carter II

Tha Carter III

Thank Me Later

The Adventure of Bobby Ray

The Binge Vol.1 Staring At the lavalamp

The Binge vol.3 :Charles Hamilton's Last Mixtape

The Black Album

The Blue Lavalamp (M/A/T/E: Mirrors Are The Enemy)

The Blueprint

The blueprint 3

The Bonus & Unreleased: Freestyle Edition

The Bonus & Unreleased Vol.1

The Bootleg Of The bootleg EP

The Carter

The Charles Hamilton Project

The Chronic

The Come Up Mixtape Vol.1

The Cool

The darkside Volume 1

The Dead Zone

The Dena Tape

The dynasty - Roc La Familia

The Ecstatic

The Eminm Show

The Essential Michael Jackson

The Evil Jeanius

The Family Sign

The Fix

TheGenie of the Lamp

The Good Sun

Thge Great Adventures of Slick Rick

The greatest story never Told

The Hardest Mixtape EVER muthafcuker

The Hunger For More 2

The L Word II: Lust and Love (INcomplete)

The Lady killer

The Lavalamp Zone

The listening

The lost Tapes (retail)

The Marshall Mathers LP

The Minstrel Show

The miseducation of Lauryn Hill

The Piece Talks

The Pink Lavalamp

The Power of Illumination

The Return of the magnificent

The Slaughterhouse EP

The Soul Tape

The Warm Up


This Perfect Life


Time Is Money

Touch The sky Mixtape

TrunkMuzik 0-60

TUFLI Tuesdays

Universal Mind Cntrol


Vol2 Hard Knock Life

Vol.2 Dream Marchant

Vol 3 Life And Times OF S Carter

Vol.4 Escape From Harlem

W. A.R. (We Are REegades)

Well Isn't This Awkward...

What The F*ck Is a Jay Electronica

What Life Gives You Lemons, You paint that shit Gold

Where Is Charles Hamilton?


Wu Massacre

Zero Heroes


You've Got Mail

_ _

Interesting Message

I'm doing my morning thing, and I see I have an interesting message on facebook. "Read your blog. Just thought you should know"


Well thanks now I know. I can't decide whether to feel slighted, or ashamed, but I'm a quick decision maker and it can't be the latter. It just can't, sometimes it has to be f*ck how you all feel, cause your taking a random moment on a random day to check this, I'm literally talking myself through some stuff. I guess that's why there were apologies noted on the same place you found reason to need to be apologized to in the 1st place.

I'm not perfect, but I certainly own up to my mistakes. Maybe ya'll should try doing that as a friend to me for once? Just a thought... I know I'm not the only 1 that's been f*cking up in a 'relationship' and now being out of that hey you get what you get. I'm an *sshole with feelings that usually go unnoticed.

Even people I've made a point to spend more time with don't come to the realizations or ask the questions I would expect. So yes, I'm going to be that way until I can find some1 in deep within the reality that is real everyday life to help me. I'm LOOKING so hard, and that's why I've found nothing.

Sorry for the display of disrespect and animosity. I just ask we start looking at the 'what could/did I do to make this situation worse?'

Cool I'm on my zonin type sh1t today. Gotta get it in early, and since it's most definitely a solo thing (People don't keep the hours I keep unless they live in London or the East coast. Even then it's a stretch) I can feel myself being exhausted, I have a lot of heavy questions weighing on me.

I've become quite the talkative body on Twitter and Facebook. Well he has I've been observing. Obviously to compensate for something I don't have.

Death is certain, death is silent, and at times can arrive through violence.
Still learning how to deal with death while maintaining a distant fascination of the unknown.

Last night was probably the worst feeling I've felt... all I could think about were things like this:

Up late fatigued in my face and it shows we closed that book all of a sudden I have feelings in droves couldn't do a thing about em decided to watch our old shows, Like am I suppose to just ignore those? Hard to laugh, tried to think back on what would make you crack, burst into laughter, but with each outburst a pitiful pain would come after. Man f*ck this new chapter...

Over and over and over and over and over! Never wrote a thing still haven't (until that right there, which was honestly more like closing my eyes and recapping). Being alone is giving me the confidence to speak to myself though. Literally. See I'm quite angry, very bitter. I don't know why yet but I know that my attitude is on FULL on display, and I don't give a f*ck. I'm a big *ss baby I've heard it enough, but I've also always tried to hold my tongue. What for though?

I'm not trying to offend anybody I just want to know what I'm feeling. Do you understand that's what the blog helps me do?? I've kept up with EVERY1's sh1t lol funny I don't pop up here or there or feel some kind of way when ya'll get disrespectful, human nature I know, so it is what it is.

Although I do wish some of you would have the guts to say some of your 'thoughts' to me, it's still all good not even an issue.

Before I get into the musical spiel, let me say Charles Hamilton is nothing like Talib Kweli. Won't go into it, just leave it at that.

Yesterday I kinda got into the 'evils' of the music we listen to. YES EVIL! When you hear me speaking on this type of stuff don't think for a second I'm standing over 'there' talking about what's going on 'here'. I'm involved because I love this sh1t. I talk about it because I love this sh1t. Think about this, I love movies, I mess with ALL kinds of movies. Music's no different, I just take it more seriously, and it should be taken that way it's too powerful of a tool to just ignore the pull it has.

I asked some friends what they thought about Kanye's transformation as an artist from College Dropout to now. I didn't get very far though, the answers were too vague and didn't really speak to any general aspects that he may have transformed from and/or into. ie. flow, delivery, lyrics, beats, etc. So while I received absolutely nothing I was looking for I discovered part of what I already knew. Girls don't really listen to music like that. If they do clap for yourself and them, your the minority in a major way. Yet, girls buy the music... See the issue there?

I just get baffled when people are ignorant as to what it is they are consuming. Who goes and gets a random dish of food without knowing WHAT it is, but knowing that it IS a combination of a bunch of different unhealthy foods???

Sounds ridiculous right?

Anyway the darkness of the music right now is killing me. Random lines thrown into lyrics with no explanation... "oh it'll be a beautiful death. Jumping out the windoww..." Kanye Power.
It's the easiest 1 to pick right now. Let me ask why you would want thousands of people at a time singing this in unity? That's some cult sh1t in my opinion. The more interesting fact about it is people DON'T realize that they are singing such a morbid action out. Leads me to believe that the powerful backdrop is a means to confuse and or disorient.

There's so much more... you got Jay-Z's "and Jesus can't save you, life starts when the church ends.." Like really? Guess what else is interesting. I listen to this stuff, my spirituality is admittedly no where near the level it used to be. That could be a direct result of a bunch of things.. Just saying stuff like that is EVERYWHERE in today's music, and people are so dumb they don't pay attention, they just consume.


I'm still looking for THAT convo. Yo Jess, you are amazing with that, the more I'm talking about it the more I realize you were basically on point with it. WTF was wrong with me. I mean sure we disagreed and I still believe most of your disagreements are based in stupid person bias' (like most all things we disagreed on. Check.) but, at least you had information backing things up. Well, more than what I've come across lately. Quotes, breakdowns. Your ill with it.

Now to curb these negative feelings.

*Half past sleepy time*

But it's 8AM. Today may be a long 1, I want to nap so I can at least enjoy this high. I'm learning a lot from some of the more aware socially conscious programming around believe it or not.

"alcohol and drugs are used to cope with trauma, and the feeling of isolation" Don't even want to say where I got that 1.

Just had a brilliant idea though.. Get some. Rummage through the alcohol at my parents' house

Get high, Zoloft Woodstock, get through the day. I need to make phone calls and I'm doing that thing where I sit while letting my thoughts paralyze me. Too much work to do.

_ _


Or am I just... Senseless?