Sales pitch. Closing loop. It's all the same sh1t, I've done it before been trained to do it and yet I turn away from it. The end is here, there's no doubt about that. Under the heaviest realization that I'm about... I don't know whatever is small enough in space and amount to make sense of a burned down short fuse away from exclaiming the nail in the coffin with my mouth. Yikes...
Fuck all you dishonest b1tches too. When people lie, it doesn't make me mad or upset. It just confuses the sh1t out of me. The phenomenon is that we ALL do it, but you have to take close notice as to why your doing it in the 1st place. Okay...
Moving away from that because it's going to be mistaken for me calling b1tches b1tches, and not the message behind it. I'm unsure, was there 1? B1tches.... I have a newfound respect for girls in the hood. Just a whole other level of admiration. I don't know what's more of a revelation, me talking about having RESPECT for girls in the hood, or me actually having my ass in the hood. SMH I love it though, take in all aspects of the area you inhabit and you may come away with newfound knowledge.
Funny how nothing involving money remains that way for long. EVER. I'm used to it you dumb b1tches, give me lent to walk around with and I'll be okay. Not to be like I don't need money blah blah, that's crazy of course I NEED money, but I don't want for that sh1t ever. Having it brings me closer to things I should and shouldn't do, so it's a moral paradox. A standstill of good and evil. I'd like to think I've done a fairly good job of balancing the two. At least making it respectful for the good guys.
I'm a 'whateveryoucallit' and I can look at MOST of my failures especially recently knowing I went all in. That's why you'd be hard pressed to find me whining and crying over the milk on the floor. I've given all the energy I had, and unfortunately when you come to realizations like that it makes turning your back a f*cking cake walk.
B1tches think I talk out my neck, while those I respect know I'm coming straight from experience. You know how many friends I lost this year? You know how many of those people I dead*ss thought would be with me in the future raising babies together? It's that real, and maybe because of that, it's that disillusioned from the truth.
I won't sit here and act as if I've had the strongest grasp on YA'LL reality, but I know I transcend both worlds so if I'm talking out my ass then it's grab a gas mask. That stance wont't change. Change will alter stances but come on, that stance won't change.
... But yo money changes people. Excuse me. B1tches.
Saturday, April 16, 2011
bob my head away from your jab your little knuckles sting I've been hit before nothing like pain to teach your ass when to hit the floor but this training's endured because the get back justified the reward unlikely way of saying/asking 'you all in or not' I wanted more or to be done for. If it's war play it out don't conform the enemies already touchdown if anything open your mouth now's the time to be what you speak about, you talking a house a car a family with a big bank account. Yet all it took was a look at the front line all the talk got shutdown. As profound as my thoughts are my actions rough up my edges I kept it a secret but now being lost and hedging pedestrians creating a wedge in between what we're supposed to grow into being, and all I get is ' probably go talk shit on your blog' well it's sh1t! no wonder no wongas tried to plunger my ass. No gas straight sucking and THEY WONDER why I'm mad? I got a whole lot of hate that you all could've had, but I was stuck thinking on how you would feel. Trust me you DON'T KNOW THIS FUCKING DRILL. I'm sitting sinking into my pill trying chill but honestly I'm getting filled with some 'go feel' shit. Like 'go feel' how a month or 2 out the blue would do you. I just got back from the last trip I tripped and dropped my glasses and now I can't see past this insistent bloodsucking tick on my dick. Graphic for the sake of being potentially drafted as some1 who'd stick their neck out longer than a giraffe's is just to show my passion. Crazy I feel like behind the curtains your little clinical ass is laughing, but it's cool... When I chill, it's hard to guess my mood. Come off different a completely new dude and I'm turning on the world because the world turned clues and spun rules away from crews on blocks and avenues that believed there was no limit for something like altitude. I don't know what I know, I just know what I see when I close my eyes or don't it's clear in front of me. Visions of my past flashes of words a dash of hope and a pasture of pain all things my mind grazes over before my 1st waking minute of each day is even over. I feeling you but I'm filled up. Tipping over. It's weird cause I'll communicate like every single breath I take I'm Dexter, part of me's fake and it goes ignored until its too late I'm on the boat bodies in the lake. Or beach river wherever he takes them you get my point, It's as sharp as medically safe for to be so close to and not use. Diagnosing illnesses because I feel in my mind these things are true. I'm gonna die playing basketball or die doing something with you. Not a wish another vision. I'm living when my ears listen.