Sunday, September 9, 2012
"You don't make the same mistakes. You just straight up, be honest. Assess but don't assess to the point that you miss out or you become judgmental. You rely on your synergy with others, you let that guide you and hopefully God helps too. Hopefully with a mind and wit to be able to and you will be able to navigate through it and figure it out."
"I put things up for judgment when I don't feel certain about it. The things I feel certain about, I trust that and I go with that usually."
Listening to whatever it is you would like to call it deep within yourself is important. Not just for assured authenticity. Although that is important to me, I'm speaking generally about bad decisions made when going off the cuff.
On the late night of the 8th, and early morning of the 9th I made decisions in my brain. I deducted like I normally do, and created a series of possible outcomes extreme and quite normal. At this point, I sat and marinated with the thoughts I had created. Feeling more pull towards those thoughts bringing me to a negative unwanted outcome. I don't know what it is, or if there is any reason to believe I'm connected with the wellbeing of how I'd like a night of mine to go, but when I get the feeling, I know. So why ignore what's been proven to have worked? The answer lies not within myself... Actually it does. It's my need to please. Excuse me, try to please. I will not ignore the innate ability I've homegrown in solitude any longer. Can't! Doing so has lead to a not so friendly dent in a companion I carry around so my ass has checks. The need to say something is dissipating and the desire for justice is full fledged. Never mind that the time spent was literally on the 'fool's edge'.
I find it funny that I took my time and allocated it in a way that was detrimental to my thought process. Weed and stupidity don't mix. So why mix them ever again? I feel like a light tap to either thigh using either hand, is gesture enough to explain EXACTLY why. This is me annoyed at something, but unwilling to allow the annoyance to seep into a dismissal of tightly knit character. I'm still gonna blast niggas though.