Now it's this, blame.. Yup, I do.


Monday, November 29, 2010

Nasty humble pie

[haw-tee] Show IPA
–adjective, -ti·er, -ti·est.
disdainfully proud; snobbish; scornfully arrogant; supercilious: haughty aristocrats; a haughty salesclerk.
Archaic . lofty or noble; exalted.


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Looking into it... (pt.1)

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Lovely Dovey

I like Doves.

Direct result of witnessing very influencing media as a child, but nah, when I wake up and see doves I feel at peace (Guess what movie shaped this outlook for me). They say don't use 'very'... I listen because I'm a student of writing, but I don't agree. So like all things disagreeable, it goes on my blog. English is a tough 1 to get down though, so it's only right (in my eyes) to admire those who have an above average mastery of it.


Just don't look for it here lol.

Feels peaceful this morning and I love it. Got everything that needed to be done out the way before the sun kissed my eyes, and now that we are grossly involved in an intense make out session I feel it's best to pay attention to the little details. Can't be sloppy-moppin it up when I hit center stage. Which is to say I need to be on point before others can catch me leaning.

Even the entries are back to being full of thoughtfulness and unknown unabashed hope for something greater. LOVE when I'm in this zone, and Rough n Rugged does too. I swear I forgot the name of my berry, and I apologize, we've been through too much to go out like this. Really. Time brings evolution, which is a fancy way of saying sh1t won't be the same it was a year from now. Accept it, dissect it (that's what I'm good at), and keep it moving in your lane right?

Gotta think of better names... Rubin is still good though.

I have some pretty awesome friends. Yeah, they're all female and yes that does cause problems, but I can't honestly complain. I've been stuck thinking about what I want and complaining about what I don't have. It's getting much easier to see what's in front of me and that's a blessing right there. Should they need something I would do my best to provide, but it's always been that way when I'm in a position to. For now, I hope my words and kind interactions suffice and when the time comes, their little 1's are going to have a positive male to look up to.

I have Jess and her family, which means I have family! More family lol, mine has been regulated to very small numbers. The thing about family is you can't get rid of them, you can't erase the fact that they are related to you. Extended family shouldn't be the same way, but in my heart I know what it is with those guys too. For now, I'm happy to say I got 2 G'd up little brothers. Lol they killers with you all (ladies), and that annoys many while allowing me to smile. Big plans for them. BIG PLANS. Jess, you may just be the craziest girl I've ever met. Maybe, but I love you.

Marley!! Haaaaa what else needs to be said after that? She's the biggest dookie this side of the map and she LOVES me like no other. I swear she has healing powers. Just acknowledging God's slyness.

Anyway productivity is the aim again today. I've started off alright, might have lost some time getting lost in my writing spell and then this entry... However it's okay. 1st game of the season tonight! OD excited, hardware year!! Wait, I have kids too! Little brothers and kids with kids... Wow.

Hinted about... a year ago (lmao dead*ss though look it up) gonna start doing some work with visuals. Got a special place for us to go and think on the abstract we see around us, and a place where English majors and professors can go to kiss my insanities ass. I want a living room with the best entertainment system installed in it for EVERY1! that's a lot more wishful thinking than it is a possible reality (I can't control what ya'll do, not even the reading of these words), but then again,I'm tired of people shooting down my imagination...

I'm gonna rant for minute. Just because the harsh realities of life are all around us doesn't mean we have to succumb to them. Resiliency is a trait I've been proud to carry around with me, and until recently I let people chip away at it. That's wack in itself, but I know I fell victim of 'believing the hype'. Never again. I don't care how grim a situation looks I won't allow another's outlook to shape my own when I can't understand or agree with where they are coming from. Not malicious, its just I'm trying to build myself back up to where I feel I should be.

Margot told me to literally say what I was thinking out loud, and it wasn't pretty at all. I did learn that I had issues beyond where I was at currently though. It made me want to take a step back (and I did), reevaluate everything (check), and figure out the root of the problem... you know that caused the other problems to "sprout" (done). It is what it is (*or what it gotta be* ;) Ultimately, your going to either take, accept, or change your situation.

Damn I almost forgot starchasers lol they are by far the most OD of any fan base I've ever encountered, but I love them for their ability to connect in unison over a common goal. Definitely helped me through some nights. BluStar. whatup!!? All starchasers are welcome at any time.

Chris is doing what he's doing, living around those that are deceitful liars at best. I don't know how he puts up with it, cause I wouldn't but more power to him too.

I would LOVE a huge favor for any1 reading this, but specifically the people I interact on a regular basis (had to stop and think of if any of our interactions are very 'regular' based lol). If you could give me 1 of your favorite artists, and from that person 1 of their bodies of musical work to listen to. Doesn't matter what it is, album, compilation, mixtape, soundtrack, whatever. Just give me an artist of your liking, it'll make for some interesting convo's some time down the road.

Positivity positivity positivity! I'm positive staying in this mind state will elect greater happiness to the forefront of my existence for myself and those around me.

Musical pallet is now shifting very slowly from punk rock to a smoother softer country scene. Rubin is handling it all as I expected, and I thank him.

Writing... I'd like to say I've gotten, or am getting better, but I don't believe that to be the case. THAT sucks! Lol I'm not happy about laughing at myself due to my stagnancy with the pen and pad, but positivity will reign. As it WILL rain. prophetic type sh1t.

I am getting better at talking to myself. Lol sounds weird but that's exactly what it is. It's amazing what you can train your mind to do. adapting words at a rapid rate gives me a new kind of rush, and I can't wait to show some1 with some confidence. a week's worth of more time with myself and I may be ready. SMH I just thought of about 5 different ignorant scenarios that could occur due to my confidence in my brashness with words. They all seemed exciting (camera time).

Hungry, laundry, more writing. Gotta get it in, Ionno when you'll hear from me in the future again, but my past tells a story those close to me might be interested in. I mean 'Wild Misinformation' any1?? Sasha thank you 1,000 times for taking the time to read, and then comment lol I read and I don't like leaving comments, so I know. But thank you, it's greatly appreciated.

I have goals to set now. See me when you see me!

*Unedited cause we don't edit sh1t in the future*
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Thursday, November 25, 2010

Silent Observer.

Been crying to myself for 4 months now.


*I'm not gonna cry, not gonna cry....*


Open arms or cold backs?
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Thursday, November 18, 2010

wild misinformation

Stressed and sleepless overthinking weaknesses within us, while trying to forget saying "I give up". Not knowing what to do next regretting depending on you the way I do. Cause 'you' is cool, it's the bag of heavy luggage that your drudging through my good intentions that got me spent. Selfishness. I carry twice as much just to stay in touch, and you stay in touch with complaints aimed at me. Basically because the company I try to keep. "That's unfair" I always fix my mouth to speak those words, but no matter how right I think I am you retort it's something you don't deserve. I agree, reluctantly, but (curve)swerve with my nerves after being burnt by broken promises. Enthusiasm curbed, and we're both left a little more hurt than we previously were. While we decline to rewind back to learn. We rewind back and repeat the same acts, I guess it's more so 'lesson burned'. My weapon, my words. Earned by dissecting what's around me, cause jokes always found me. People always clowned me, I sunk down and soaked it in. Told myself if I could help it I'd never be soaked again. Grabbed a pen, got it in, and in time what I couldn't hold in hit you and that was never my intentions. Ever. But now, forever I'm stuck, thinking of violence and such that should have never been us. Ever!!

It's finally here.

"Pay close f*cking attention..."

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Saturday, November 13, 2010


1 of the more literal questions I have. Well...?

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Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Just got Real

Transmitting from the future back into the past... Back to the future... The proverbial sh1t has hit the fan. I'm EXCITED! You shouldn't be, but if you were that'd be cool. What I saw in the future:

Cancer isn't cool at all

Love is love and no1 gets it

Military benefits

Militant thinking/actions

Country music ruled the world

Rock & Roll made a strong resurgence

Hip hop was on welfare (not lying)

Cinemas stimulate... literally (Eewww)(...or...)

TV is the new Cinema.

Divorce terminated marriage

Babies are still being born
With said shift in the media paradigm things are starting to look up for the youthful generations, albeit is still way too early to be completely sure.

And you don't want to know what you can do with you mind and a bottle of Pinesol! lol

Mr. Clean DID grow hair btw. Sorry Wayne it turned out to not be that "rare" after all.

Giggles and such kind of screwing with this transmission, 1 chance to talk to ya'll bout what I've been seeing (in the future) blown by the above... Gotta get it together, I thought I had it but no, CLEARLY not the case.

... Now about that tv... It was here, it may be while you read it but damn I don't want it in here. Gotta go to work.

For those that know my time traveling is pretty OD with it, guard your ears and eyes there's wild misinformation out there. Only believe the crazy unbelievable stuff from me... or Chris or the other guy.

They're all cool promise!

... Tags might be important... (dot)(blogspot).com


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Friday, November 5, 2010


Feel really guilty about the list. I destroyed it before leaving you 4 and now I feel like I need to just do away with it completely. I'm not out for a cry for attention honestly but that's what I end up feeling like because of the list. Tripping. I think about what kind of phones you all have and if they alert you immediately after the entry is published. This sh1t embarrasses me, it's not some look at me type ordeal. I only allow the whole 'look at me' aspect of it all is because the 4 left have shown they care about me. Well you know I care about you all, and this blog isn't going anywhere (yet). Just don't forget the address.

A lot of writing to do while Marley prances around. I'll publish (with no list) and those who read will be reliving in MY PAST. Old entries. VERY relevant. Kind of cool I think... Hopefully we can catch up together or I'll be stuck with the four dark walls. aka my own joke nobody got aka myself(er)... Those aren't fun, ask Jess.

*11/4/10 ... it's not over. I'll get you back.*
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Thursday, November 4, 2010

Heavy morning views

"Sometimes I feel like I am all alone. ALL ALONE!!! Aint got nobody I can call my own. CALL MY OWN!! No matter where I go I call it home. CALL IT HOME!!! And if you feel the same then you aint ALL ALONE! Cause I'm right here..."

*Which makes me strong as steel*                    *Mainstream appeal?*

*Before I crossover I just hope you look at the words I wrote in this book*

All 400+
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Or am I just... Senseless?