Now it's this, blame.. Yup, I do.


Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Another word.


  [puh-dan-tik]  Show IPA
ostentatious in one's learning.
overly concerned with minute details or formalisms, especiallyin teaching.


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Finally got around to reading this!

Not excited just tired of the periods...

There are several reasons not to sign with a major label but today we will highlight ten that are near and dear to our hearts.
  1. They will not pay you – royalties (what’s that?), what about an advance (not any more but if they do, it’s as if you’re dealing with a loan shark…).
  2. There’s no staff working there – most labels are outsourcing various tasks to contractors that once were done by dedicated employees of the label.  How dedicated is someone who has no stake in a company?
  3. They stifle your creativity – labels tell you what you can and cannot do with your music career. Sounds like you are their employee to me!
  4. They need a hit, even if it is not yours – it another artist’s project on that label gets a hit, guess what?  Your project goes to the bottom of the pile – no more promotion for you!
  5. No more tour support – that’s a thing of the past for labels.  You have to grind it out on your own, but don’t forget you still owe them money and have to pay them every time you gig.
  6. They will only sign you if you have a fan base and heavy sales – what kind of deal is that?  Sounds more like pimpin’ to me!
  7. They control distribution – yep that’s right! That includes physical and digital if you’re not sure what kind of deal you are signing.
  8. They have the power to say no and most times will – you want to give away free music…that’s a big no – no.  What about break a new single – uh that’s a no!  Especially if it competes with another track.
  9. MTV, VH1 and BET are dead – any and everyone who wants to see music videos are onYouTube and guess what? Indie Artists can get paid for featuring their videos but if you’re signed to a major label – um maybe not!
  10. Terrestrial music radio is dying – with the advent of iTunesSatellite Radio, Pandora, other online radio stations and smart phones who needs to tune in to their local radio station to hear the same stuff repeatedly.


Interesting observations.
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I know I've talked about this before... -__-

I'm forgetful. =)

So what give em up.

Yo is it safe to say I'm on my period? Cause I'm definitely MORE aware then I've ever been and that's making me TIGHT! I'm happy though I do have some amazing people that really love me. That alone makes looking past the (most likely) minuscule things that bother me a little easier. Let's get into it though...

It's like this, Coach Roth had an issue with players last year because they started acting as if they were owed things. Not in any 'in-your-face' type of way, but just very subtle signs of entitlement. Now I try to model parts of myself after Coach Roth because he really is a great person. I'm happy to say I've known him this long. Where I can't follow suit is how damn calm he was about it... Well he DID address it..

I guess it goes back to what me and Jess talked about. If I address something I'm going to address it. I don't want to dance around it and lord knows I know exactly how I feel about things. So why can't I let you know that as well?

Seems like a fairly fair trade off if your asking me. Only nobody asked me, and I'm a genuinely nice person. I just have terribly destructive tempers. I'm working, I'm working... Anyway I just don't think it's cool for people to start feeling entitled when they have no business feeling that way. Always open it up for discussion at least. You can't ever really offend some1 in my position if your polite enough to ask. Not doing so just makes you rude.

Do guys grab the door for you ladies? Doing so, just makes them polite. Sure, it's a nice gesture but guys your supposed to do stuff like that. Now NOT doing it makes you a rude *sshole. Basically mirroring these situations. I could go into details but Jess is teaching me the most valuable lesson of all right now, and she thinks I'm trying to teach her lol.

Thank you.


Now that I think about it, enablers are more to blame and should be the 1's that have to deal with the untold wrath of my unsung words. The 1's actually doing the act are just doing what they've been getting away with for days.

Anyway can we just acknowledge that I've been wronged today? In doing so simultaneously acknowledging that I'm on my period? That would help. I'm calming down once again, learning to channel negativity into something less so.

The future is looking like it can at least be made out. So many questions a bunch of GREY. I'd prefer black and white but then again I'd prefer Pink and Green. Funny how all those colors represent more than the eyes can see.


I have a little parting gift for those I'm feeling not-so-happy with at the moment. This is a message regarding you effectiveness in my life, and what you bring to it at my own expense.


*Lotta haters lotta haters lotta haters lotters haters oooooooooooooooooooooh*

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"You don't have to look like a model for me to adore you, all you gotta do is love me and be loyal." 50

From all places to make the perfect point. cause ADORE you was something I def. Did.


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Be real to baby, be real for me.

I'm cut from something strange. This is the conclusion because I'm willing to publicly express how I feel. I really wish others could do this and not feel ANY kind of way about 'hurting feelings' or 'rubbing the wrong'. That's all fair to think about, but in the longterm I think it just stunts progress.

By progress I mean the ushering in of forward discussion, even if that discussion leads to nowhere.

Regardless... Shifting gears.

I'm f*cking mad right now.


New Role Models.

Then this...

Rude Boy was knocking for a minute.

Do you know?

Blogroll flow.

They DON'T understand. How could they?

Walk out the door risk walking out on everything you used to know type sh1t.

Been there with a tight grip on a fantasy I planned to see.

Ouch Trashy style.

She's ill though, inspirational.

He's inspirational. F*ck...

*I hear you miss*

This song is so dope.

Toss a subject, toss a theme. He's covered it.

On some dumb dumb dummy ish.

Frank Ocean comes to mind... But you don't like him either.

Chop it off to top it off.

I want to hug her. No, hold her... How innappropiate.

Goodbyes.. but next time...

*Give it to me baby*

Just make it real.

Best entry ever.

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Purposefully abandoned until I woke up this morning for no other reason other than to make sure I could remember it. I do things like that often, bet on my mind and try to see where it'll get me. If anything else, at least I'm practicing memory techniques. I want to be able to remember everything, but I don't know if that's... I'm not even gonna say it, I want to be able to remember everything.

K this is how this post was supposed to go. I love that I can come on my blog and see my 2 n1ggas chucking up the deuces, the color scheme telling me to be at ease and comfortable being what's not expected of me. The pictures busting out their own delightfully imposing boxes/frames. Remnants of the past, clues of the future, and the lost tale of love anger and passion.

I get all of that so yeah I can come here and smile a lot.

I'm too public? Well I'll keep my bid for the secret society in my front pocket so no1 can steal it and claim it as their own when the time to be secret comes. Why would people WANT secrets though?

Anyway, confusing thoughts for a confusing matter.

"Definitey feel like I've done this before, but I didn't leave out the door with the 'Justice' award"

An excerpt from upstairs. That reminds me though, there are different types of structures for everything and I intend to break them down. Don't really want to leave this 1 up to my memory though...

Free flowing freestyle(my favorite), freestyle (structure), song(concept), article(concept), album(body of work)

Feel like I'm overlooking some things... I'm on the clock though so that'll have to do. Hopefully I can get some time to properly break down these things and more, call it... 'Breakin' Atoms' cause I'm in a throwback type mood today. Dangerous.

Practice makes perfect, but sloppiness makes it worthless.


Yeah I can see why you wouldn't want to read this stuff. I'm updated btw! Ya'll are pretty boring.


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Yummy's Donuts

Damn Tumblr post! I always catch it and think 'yes I'm going to hear about this.' This is me calm.

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Idiotic ish,

Why does every1 think this is me? I know I speak in 1st person but it's a trip from the mind in which it's created to the fingertips to the screen you read it from. People keep threatening me to be out indefinitely. You gotta understand while that may actually be something I'm terrified of, it's happened time and time again. Which means, there's obviously something causing it, and secondly, I'm not a stranger to the sh1t. Besides threatening me just makes me push for the outcome.

I'm definitely the speed off the cliff and try to figure out what to do before we crash into the ground type. F*ck the dashes.

So much I don't understand, and it's definitely not peace over here. I'm still trying to get over the fact you can think yourself into an unhealthy submission. Stress is 1 hell of a killer. Asthma too.

I'm on the verge of losing another friend. As soon as I type that I'm prompted to "say bye right now..." I don't understand people. There's so much I don't understand...

Living through mazes shouldn't be this fun though, I'll give myself that  much. I've LIVED while dying. So it's literally f*ck how people feel, I've had fun through the darkest days. Dark days will lend way to lighter 1's I believe that.

Let me pose this question: If I take words from some1 and write them out without crediting that person, what are you left with? Words right?

That's the main reason I can't f*ck with peoples' opinions a lot of the time. It's so EASY for me to hate on people, it really is. Best example of this comes when I mention Big Sean. Dude is wack. That's MY opinon, I don't like him. However, you won't ever here me say he can't rap, because that's a flat out lie. He's nice with it and no amount of personal feelings will cause me to change that stance.

People I associate with aren't this way at all. Example of this is liking a basketball team because dude's 'hot'. Lol Or a rapper... Either way the thing that's important (to me) is usually grossly overlooked. So it lends me to think that I shouldn't inquire about those type of things from that group.

I'm done though.

Title it.

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Thank you... Alcohol??

I think my consumption of alcohol is going to go way up, on some happy hour sh1t. Was never a problem before, but damn Tony Rock is convincing as hell. Now he's talking about weed... Uh oh. FAT TONY!
Jess didn't get the last whatever entry it was about Kansas and simultaneous blogging. I CAN WALK AND CHEW GUM! I found that out today believe it or not lol

I was checking my blog out from my phone. It looks *so muf*ckin' gorgeous!*  really happy at the moment. If you've been following me from the beginning you can see remnants of the very 1st blog everywhere, then there's the last version, now this... It's just right.

There comes a time in most every night I have to decide what I will or won't do. I wish I could always be deciding to do something but that's not the case. I'm not special or anything it's that way for most everybody I imagine.

I never understood why people will tell me what I meant when I said or stated something. The reason this it's so hard for me to understand is because I've never really been 1 to hold what I'm feeling back when I want to... No. When I've been ushered to the point of 'speaking up or out' I don't hold very many punches is what I'm saying. I don't mind being wrong, just as long as you can explain to me both angles. Goes back to the whole 'why' thing.

With that being said, and ironically having these situations fall into the same categories with the same people, I can't understand this. What reason do I have to lie when I say I was coming from a different perspective when I said something or wrote that?

It'd be difficult but I could break down why what where with anything you place in front of me that I wrote. I f*cking wrote it, don't play with me.

Or keep calling me a liar and see how far that ride gets us. I need relationships in my life and I'm aiming to have the most important 1 salvaged, so why I'm standing in my situation alone is beyond me. It's not about the glitz and glamor of being able to say I'm right. I just want to be happy. I'm working on myself so I can work on the other important things.

Important to understand.

An interaction just made me realize something. It doesn't matter what you do or how you do it if 1 already feels threatened and or disrespected. I realize that cursing with a smile on my face may be foreign to some, I'm just tired and unwilling to hold that part of me back anymore. Is that so bad?  I mean if it is, cool, agree to not be able to take what I have inside of me. Cause I'm clearly stating ya'll vagina's are too sensitive.

Now I'm quite angry.

I HATE when people ignore what I'm saying when by doing so they directly undermine the reason behind why I'm speaking. There are reasons for everything.

"That's what I get..."

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Or am I just... Senseless?