Now it's this, blame.. Yup, I do.


Monday, July 5, 2010

Son's a Bum

Here we go more of the lies...

I was/am getting ready to just get gone. I've grown far too exhausted trying to catch up to where I should already be. Thing is the things I wish not to be as well as the locations are all things I wished to see.

I'm just tired of the image you've given me. It's time for something new. <<--- ayo Charles sample those sentences for me. I don't really trust any1 else to do it.

I'm at a point where the notions of what I think are becoming reality to how I feel. Not cool at all, not healthy either. I've tried shaking this off in a variety of different ways. Some more successful than others, I guess they all worked from some1's perspective. Whatever... Today I did 1 of the healthier choices. Worked like a charm.

I'm an excellent painter, so I painted.

However, once I left my paints and decided it was time to let you in again I was embraced with disappointment. I guess none of the parties involved get it either because we are all saying the same thing. aka knot getting anywhere.

*yeah yeah purposeful ^*

Walking... More walking...

I'm taking it back to those walking days. Sometimes because I want to sometimes because I have to. My feet are getting their work in though. Sooooooooo don't be mean about it k? *cough* megherz *cough*

So yeah, the trip... I don't know. I feel like I just need to go, and apart of me is ready to do just that. There's still too much holding me back at the moment so I'm chilling. Fact's are as stated: I don't feel good about MY own positioning in life at the moment. I do not feel good about the people AROUND me in my life. I don't feel good about the reciprocation of an emotional equal who at the moment is also absent. yeah that deep. I feel isolated most all of the time. I've heard a lot of things that were meant to describe me and none of them were true. I'm not feeling good bout being misunderstood. I'm not feeling good sleeping from place to place while never feeling completely welcome.

There's more that's supposed to be left unsaid. I'll oblige this go round because while I'm currently feeling low I'm trying to get up..

I'm not feeling good about missing emails.. I know this goes against what I just said ^ but I don't know what happened to a good friend of mine and I want/NEED to see her if I can. So if the email timing of the universe is just off for all can you please let me know your good? paging Dr. Margot are we good?? I snapped today in my notebook, it's yours come get it!

People don't trust me, and I'm not tripping really I'm working on trusting myself. Just know I'm ready if need be to be OUT in a major way. Different city, state, and or country. I'm not playing around.

People should respect my words since it's obvious these looks have gotten me oh so far.

'your such a player you probably tell that to ALL the girls' yeah YOU got me.

*rolls eyes*

Try digging me cause I make you want to.. The night sky is something 'un' and 'ling' when there are no stars to snuggle in it. Odd looking and out of place.. Shout out to LC. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh LC....

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Hi my name is...

Chris Wilson, or Turtle Lee to the few and fortunate.

More important than that, is what they've become to be..

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Or am I just... Senseless?