Now it's this, blame.. Yup, I do.

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Friday, December 17, 2010

"What kind of trust is This?"

Birthdays have gone and passed, and I haven't communicated with any1. Well not directly anyway so should I feel guilty? My thoughts were filled with all things you but I don't get the credit if you don't know do I?

*Too many questions*


Today is the day I've grown too tired of unanswered questions. Sometimes you have to let the chips fall where they may, and at the moment I feel as if I'm prepared for things to fall wherever God decides to allow them.

A lot of good things going on, but I've found that even within those disappointments are still VERY prevalent. Things are moving and the Ball is quite literally in my court, not really sure what to do with it, but I am! I won't do what I know to do with it and that's becoming more frustrating everyday that passes. Fear is a crippling parasite that creates catastrophic happenings when misused.  Of course like anything else, it CAN be flipped to work in ones favor... My favors need different flavors.


I had so much to say, but as I began to type it felt like my will and spirit were being taken away with every word. I hate feeling this way, so depression must be real.

*I get depressed when I get better with words*

so I turn to others who have crafted beautifully written and orchestrated pieces such as this...






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I love being underestimated. So understand me.




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 -/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Thursday, December 9, 2010

My angel

Michelle you are 1 of many angels God has sent to watch over me. The leader maybe. Regardless of your stature I feel closer to you than ever before. Thanks and I love you.



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 -/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Nothin but doubt.

So I've penned a letter to a very disputable parent. It is what it is (my favorite 'saying') I'm just saying I have a TON of emotions being put to page. Forgive me if my actions show that I don't care or my mouth gets outta control (ie SUPER reckless). Know it's coming from an emotional place, and it may actually be helping me to get it out the way I DECIDE to. Once again I'm finding myself on the outside looking into a relationship I've known too well for too long. I say the outside because I am constantly exiled, and apparently Chris is the n1gga she wants, but Chris hasn't been there for a minute so go figure. It used to be weird, but I'm okay with it now I guess.

What better time than now to say this; if your done with me be done. I'm about as forgiving as they come but I'm not into getting trampled on. Which is NOT to say I do nothing wrong, sh1t, I'm no good. I TOLD YOU THIS! *Flashes back to the Q&A sessions going unanswered and me too strung out to even care* Remember that... When you couldn't answer, I knew the answers and when you lied I knew why. But ah yes, by no means am I the saint *ain't*. Flawed as I am I know what it is I need or at least I tell myself I do. I also know what it is I don't need. If you haven't guessed by now I have an addictive personality, so keep it around me long enough and weeeeelll...... Good or bad it doesn't discriminate. Finding out what I needed gone and whatnot was half the battle. Now it's living with the decisions I'm making. I think I'll be okay but this has turned into a tangent once again. IF your not f*cking with me for whatever reasons it's not a negative thing. I will say I'm thankful for the times you WERE f*cking with me (heh). Plenty have up and disappeared some even right in front of me, so needing to get yourself away from the wreckage isn't a problem. As I said I remain thankful. However I can't put things on hold or in this case keep myself guessing when the next 1 will come around.

I appreciate the thoughts you all keep me in from time to time, mainly because it's nice to know others think about you the way you do them. Although I'm sure these mental interactions don't compare to the energy I'm putting out FOR you, I know it may be a step in the right direction. Honestly though? I just kind of laugh at a lot of you. I really struggle to think about what it is 1 might find appealing about me. So far the conclusion I've come across most is history. Well I certainly know history isn't repeating itself (Been there done that type sh1t) again. While trends may, I am not trendy so that lends even less possibility to the aforementioned.  (I love it when my free speech turns into something much more unintentionally)

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Funny to me when I am asked about my well-being. Some of you need to take a look in the mirror. DEADASS! I wonder if the truth were more grim than I cared to share albeit being shared in this case, would you still show support? Would you stick your nose up? I know a lot of you would, and that's cool I guess. Not my cup of tea, but neither is judging people for believing or acting out in situations I don't believe or agree with. Stop feeling some kind of way about people telling you about yourself. Look at it as a sign of admiration, I know IF I didn't give a sh*t about whatever I just wouldn't open my mouth to speak.  Now what's worse? (goes back to the whole 'being here to annoy you' thing a couple posts ago) It's like really? Just grow up, and if some1 saying grow the hell up or the f*ck up is 'too much' congratulations you have shut me up indefinitely. What the f*ck they put in these peoples' water nowadays anyway?

I have no clue what this was supposed to be continuing on from, I do know I've written a lot (cause I've been told I was too much of a sensitive little b1tch so yes, I like to WRITE my feelings out.) because I'm not feeling well emotionally. A little unbalanced meaning the 'good' is GREAT and the 'bad' is definitely worse than the antonym for GREAT. I'm dealing with it, and probably not in the best of ways, but right now I'm more concerned with OTHER people in my life. It sounds bad but I just don't care about my own well-being anymore. Not now anyway, you are all so much more important, I just need to channel enough energy to focus long enough to get my message as clean and digestible as possible for you. For a lot of people it's curtains.

There was a time where I just did not give a f*ck. What was in my head was shared when I pleased how I pleased and I'm happy to say I'm feeling like that's right around the corner again. Hopefully this time around I'll be able to better articulate myself when the time comes. Cause if there's 1 thing I hate, it's being mislabeled unfairly. Take time to know me then watch as I accept whatever criticism you throw my way. I feel like it should work both ways and my character exemplifies this. Though to hear 1 tell it I'm a monster in the worst kind of ways.

Ladies I love you, and I'm sorry to say I have disrespected a part of what it means to be a lady by placing my hands on you (more than once). Definitely the thing I'm least proud of in life and a source of unlimited guilt. Well, I know how I feel about it and I know many of you are ashamed of me as you should be. You know, through all this, all I've ever thought is how can 'THEY stand by ME when I'M like THIS?'

'THEY' not being specific to gender, just loved ones. Well loved ones I'm sorry. I'll make it right somehow and I love you for loving me endlessly. As for the 'dart throwers' the muzzle is coming off.

*Got some great news through the twitter grapevine*

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Anticipation indeed.


*oh and that list... drugs man.*
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 -/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Kiki reminded me (with love)...

Kiki reminded me why the list was ro be destroyed. Needing help and wanting it are 2 important themes of this Blog. Needing and wanting attention aren't. Flat out as that. The fact that you must be alerted before deciding to 'fuck' with the blog says a lot. No need to feel guilty it just is what it is. You go out of sight long enough and the rest will surely follow. Meaning I won't be on any1's mind. Quite honestly as much as it pains me to see that come true I wouldn't have it any other way. My door is f*cking down the street the same place its always been so no I don't worry about saying f*ck you to those that deserve it. Rest easy if you can't even touch me lol.


Honestly.... Tired of honesty. Or being entrapped in a perspective that lends no path to truth. Basically when we start drifting apart it is what it is. Its no longer problematic, I've clocked it down to a science. The amount of me that I have to give in order to stay 'relevant' in your minds isn't even necessarily possible from my end. That tells me get your flags out and let them match my hands. At least we'll both FEEL like we're on the same page, but take a closer look and its clear we are communicating different messages.


Kiki not at all upset or angry with you, I know the tone of my messages and this blog might suggest otherwise (sidenote: though often wrong you CAN assume the tone of a txt message). I just want those that should forget to forget and move on. You know "they say if you love it..." Type sh1t.
I am not looking for a brighter neon sign saying 'Look at me!'. Not at all, unless the act of watching/observing is something you have decided you want to do... Or need to do. Its whatever at this point. I say f*ck whoever because I know where its gone and I know where I've brought it back to. I'm so much better off then I was and that needs to start counting for something (to myself). So long to go but guess what? I can kind of see where I'm goin at the moment, couldn't say that 2 weeks ago.


Sorry if it seems grim, because it's coming from a place that houses the possibility of hope. Still kicking, hitting, and missing. Just not in your face. I expect this to be the last time many of you hear or read a clear direct response from me, and I dealt with how that felt before my thumbs got exercising. Know though it IS all love, and this isn't me turning my back as much as it is looking at the turned backs smh, and walking my own path (again).
Don't know what this will mean for all of us, I have my fingers crossed for a few and already mourned the relationships that died because of this stupid sh1t. I'm still holding on though. Is it still all love??




*I found the answer where selfishness cannot exist*

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So HONESTLY f*ck what happens to me.




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-/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

The leather couch

"Well if I wasn't here I could never annoy you with my blah blah blah, would you rather that be the case? Think about it..." That's an old quote from Chris said frequently to those who felt his presence was 'annoying' at times.

Interesting way to think about it, and I think maybe the correct way for all to think about loved 1's. We take too much for granted, and granted, most are doing just fine with his 'disappearance' I'd like to think some1 kinda wishes he was there to annoy them 1 more time.

The rain has started to fall *hint hint* and instead of feeling in control of 'A' situation desperation is starting to set in. I sit back and watch n1ggas lose they minds all the time. Stress, weed, and 'Great Expectations' will do that to most anybody. What a 'great' book btw... Gotta find that somewhere for other purposes.

Still it's a little weird watching the psychological effects take hold of some1 you've known to be 1 way your entire life, or period of time you've known them. It doesn't scare ME like I thought it would, it intrigues me. Chris falls apart, and most others fall into habits. At some point whatever your falling to (ie running from/to) can and will catch up to you. "People need hope..." right? So who's the 1 with it? Why always 1 I want a group of them b1tches.

At the moment if I laugh too hard I'll blow out all my stitches, my face healed okay and I'm super thankful for that I do plan on going back out there some day. Back to the topic, Grant trained the Granted Gang and they took everything for all it WASN'T worth. Now I'm stuck in the dirt that's turning to mud trying to make sense of it, sinking in my own mini flood (it's raining). I need water proof equipment, or just none at all. People may need to side eye me for my ability to part with 'awesomeness' so quickly and freely.

That leather couch though... I never parted from the souls I came to know. Might've discarded them at times but look down and ask yourself if I've been there... Honestly honesty is all we need. I'm somewhere fine for now, but I remember how it felt peeling myself off of that couch. Your's wasn't the only 1 I had to but it may have just been the last I'll gravitate to.

#nomadic if I have to be

and I've let twitter take over my blog... Social networking is something else. Got a lot of tucked F U's under my belt, but I won't hide behind numbers or hash tags. You'll feel what I've been saying, and then I'll be gone again.





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 -/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

HeroHaloIiiiiiiiiiiiiii

I can flip shit anyway I kick it to myself when I tune in to my fitted. I show others and they don't get it, understanding is quite missed. But still, I find my shield in my own solace. So fuck how you feel aint been change in my wallet since I dropped out of college. Like knowledge is something I don't need to acknowledge cause the gems they was dropping had no keys for unlocking my mind. Like a broke locket you wouldn't find a picture even if you knew the scripture to unlock it. I guess that doesn't mean it's broke just means you probably should've tried to spot it before you bought it and was the butt of this joke.




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If I remembered my rambling that cause this we might be onto something. Halo is ill though, that I know with confidence. Looking back I know I was hurt a lot of truth that normally wouldn't came out. Sooooooo that means pain. I'm tired of others hurting around me, and exhausted from the physical pain I feel that may or may not be in my head. Regardless my body hurts in places that leaves me less than wasted feeling like I'm nothing near basic but still tripping as if somebody laced it.



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-/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Just say it please






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I struggle with whether or not your listening, then I struggle with whether or not I'm wrong. Taken but not forgotten. Gone but not taken. Whatever. I'm here, taken or not. Never mind what my imagination says we are or could be, knowing that the reality is we could've been. The 1 I'm with clueless...

But I may not be with her or any1 for that matter, could be with you but then I'd really come across as foolish.


Time will tell I guess.

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Time is tight though. I'm patient.

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-/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Careful...

Appearance is important. Yet I do not care about appearance. I have a need to care about how you all see me appear to be in your eyes. Such is necessary for monetary purposes. Yet and still, I do not care. Simply because I don't know who I am to each of you individually, but I know it's not who I AM.

I was talking to a very beloved friend of mine and a concept of ownership was brought up (whether she knows it or not). Well, feelings and ownership... Basically it's not fair to say that I can't love what I can't/don't have. Word??? In the case of others and the image you uphold in your head, how can you really be sure you have the 1 you "fell in love with" anyway if the image you hold onto is the 1 in your head. Confusing...

Stay with me in my head things play out much more.... *sighs*

I am not the same person I was a day ago.

If the above statement is true, and it is. Imagine how much I've changed in a months time. 4 months. Half a year. Now a full year. Obviously we can continue on, but the point is I've changed a lot. For some of you while I know why I am appealing to you I question why I would remain so after all that we've been through. (Guilty)

I question if the person you miss is me, or if it is in fact the memory you had of me that I once fulfilled. Well, I don't question it I know that's what it is. That in itself hurts to come to terms with, but the truth is many of you would turn your noses up in disgust. While I'm stuck being disgusted with stuff I try to bury within me.

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Not a great feeling when you feel like you aren't you anymore. Even worse when you have to face those that loved the old you, in spite of the 1's that know the new you and aid your transformation daily.

Let me chill. I'm focused with what I want to say, just not sure it should be said. So I won't I'll chill, but I'm hurting. I don't think I've ever came out and said that outright, but that's what it is. I'm in so much pain. Some of it was just bad breaks, a lot of it self inflicted, hence why I haven't said anything. But f*ck even junkies need help, and well... Ya'll just pray for me when/if this ever gets to you.

I need to go find my own help, and I FEEL like I need things to help me deal with what I'm feeling. That alone is a terrible demon to deal with. I think about the things I was, or how I used to deal with discomforting pain and my memory conveniently fades. When it comes back in I realize it wasn't so much what I was doing, but who I was with. What I was doing didn't even matter but my pain has always been padded by the walls of my friends aka extended family.

Anyway I'm real dolo these days, so it's hard to care what some non exec n1gga thinks about what I look like when I'm surrounding myself by what makes me comfortable. I'm past the physical aspect of trying to appeal, and I've found that money really has no place for me at the moment. Bills will be paid the rest will be played with type of sh1t...


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Every1 seemed to forget how hard I go with my playful sh1t like I wasn't a playful kid through all this. Well, I have no problem jogging memories, I just hate jogging... Or any running for that matter. Know well that while doing what I hate, and at the same time giving you a taste I'm so far gone into what I just made. ... And n1ggas talk to me about drugs, well I'm off those.


I do get it now though (speaking to no 1 specifically) and my appreciation for 'it' has only risen. People are as fickle as can be, and I love people, what's that make me?

Nothing too deep, just a fickle people lover that can't let go... Or a teacher.




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-/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Monday, November 29, 2010

Nasty humble pie

haugh·ty   
[haw-tee] Show IPA
–adjective, -ti·er, -ti·est.
1.
disdainfully proud; snobbish; scornfully arrogant; supercilious: haughty aristocrats; a haughty salesclerk.
2.
Archaic . lofty or noble; exalted.




*understanding*


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-/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Looking into it... (pt.1)







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-/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Lovely Dovey

I like Doves.

Direct result of witnessing very influencing media as a child, but nah, when I wake up and see doves I feel at peace (Guess what movie shaped this outlook for me). They say don't use 'very'... I listen because I'm a student of writing, but I don't agree. So like all things disagreeable, it goes on my blog. English is a tough 1 to get down though, so it's only right (in my eyes) to admire those who have an above average mastery of it.

#workinonit

Just don't look for it here lol.

Feels peaceful this morning and I love it. Got everything that needed to be done out the way before the sun kissed my eyes, and now that we are grossly involved in an intense make out session I feel it's best to pay attention to the little details. Can't be sloppy-moppin it up when I hit center stage. Which is to say I need to be on point before others can catch me leaning.

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Even the entries are back to being full of thoughtfulness and unknown unabashed hope for something greater. LOVE when I'm in this zone, and Rough n Rugged does too. I swear I forgot the name of my berry, and I apologize, we've been through too much to go out like this. Really. Time brings evolution, which is a fancy way of saying sh1t won't be the same it was a year from now. Accept it, dissect it (that's what I'm good at), and keep it moving in your lane right?

Gotta think of better names... Rubin is still good though.

I have some pretty awesome friends. Yeah, they're all female and yes that does cause problems, but I can't honestly complain. I've been stuck thinking about what I want and complaining about what I don't have. It's getting much easier to see what's in front of me and that's a blessing right there. Should they need something I would do my best to provide, but it's always been that way when I'm in a position to. For now, I hope my words and kind interactions suffice and when the time comes, their little 1's are going to have a positive male to look up to.

I have Jess and her family, which means I have family! More family lol, mine has been regulated to very small numbers. The thing about family is you can't get rid of them, you can't erase the fact that they are related to you. Extended family shouldn't be the same way, but in my heart I know what it is with those guys too. For now, I'm happy to say I got 2 G'd up little brothers. Lol they killers with you all (ladies), and that annoys many while allowing me to smile. Big plans for them. BIG PLANS. Jess, you may just be the craziest girl I've ever met. Maybe, but I love you.

Marley!! Haaaaa what else needs to be said after that? She's the biggest dookie this side of the map and she LOVES me like no other. I swear she has healing powers. Just acknowledging God's slyness.

Anyway productivity is the aim again today. I've started off alright, might have lost some time getting lost in my writing spell and then this entry... However it's okay. 1st game of the season tonight! OD excited, hardware year!! Wait, I have kids too! Little brothers and kids with kids... Wow.


Hinted about... a year ago (lmao dead*ss though look it up) gonna start doing some work with visuals. Got a special place for us to go and think on the abstract we see around us, and a place where English majors and professors can go to kiss my insanities ass. I want a living room with the best entertainment system installed in it for EVERY1! that's a lot more wishful thinking than it is a possible reality (I can't control what ya'll do, not even the reading of these words), but then again,I'm tired of people shooting down my imagination...

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I'm gonna rant for minute. Just because the harsh realities of life are all around us doesn't mean we have to succumb to them. Resiliency is a trait I've been proud to carry around with me, and until recently I let people chip away at it. That's wack in itself, but I know I fell victim of 'believing the hype'. Never again. I don't care how grim a situation looks I won't allow another's outlook to shape my own when I can't understand or agree with where they are coming from. Not malicious, its just I'm trying to build myself back up to where I feel I should be.

Margot told me to literally say what I was thinking out loud, and it wasn't pretty at all. I did learn that I had issues beyond where I was at currently though. It made me want to take a step back (and I did), reevaluate everything (check), and figure out the root of the problem... you know that caused the other problems to "sprout" (done). It is what it is (*or what it gotta be* ;) Ultimately, your going to either take, accept, or change your situation.

Damn I almost forgot starchasers lol they are by far the most OD of any fan base I've ever encountered, but I love them for their ability to connect in unison over a common goal. Definitely helped me through some nights. BluStar. whatup!!? All starchasers are welcome at any time.

Chris is doing what he's doing, living around those that are deceitful liars at best. I don't know how he puts up with it, cause I wouldn't but more power to him too.

I would LOVE a huge favor for any1 reading this, but specifically the people I interact on a regular basis (had to stop and think of if any of our interactions are very 'regular' based lol). If you could give me 1 of your favorite artists, and from that person 1 of their bodies of musical work to listen to. Doesn't matter what it is, album, compilation, mixtape, soundtrack, whatever. Just give me an artist of your liking, it'll make for some interesting convo's some time down the road.

Positivity positivity positivity! I'm positive staying in this mind state will elect greater happiness to the forefront of my existence for myself and those around me.

Musical pallet is now shifting very slowly from punk rock to a smoother softer country scene. Rubin is handling it all as I expected, and I thank him.

Writing... I'd like to say I've gotten, or am getting better, but I don't believe that to be the case. THAT sucks! Lol I'm not happy about laughing at myself due to my stagnancy with the pen and pad, but positivity will reign. As it WILL rain. prophetic type sh1t.

I am getting better at talking to myself. Lol sounds weird but that's exactly what it is. It's amazing what you can train your mind to do. adapting words at a rapid rate gives me a new kind of rush, and I can't wait to show some1 with some confidence. a week's worth of more time with myself and I may be ready. SMH I just thought of about 5 different ignorant scenarios that could occur due to my confidence in my brashness with words. They all seemed exciting (camera time).

Hungry, laundry, more writing. Gotta get it in, Ionno when you'll hear from me in the future again, but my past tells a story those close to me might be interested in. I mean 'Wild Misinformation' any1?? Sasha thank you 1,000 times for taking the time to read, and then comment lol I read and I don't like leaving comments, so I know. But thank you, it's greatly appreciated.

I have goals to set now. See me when you see me!

*Unedited cause we don't edit sh1t in the future*
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 -/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Silent Observer.






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Been crying to myself for 4 months now.

But

*I'm not gonna cry, not gonna cry....*

Anymore.

Open arms or cold backs?
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 -/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Thursday, November 18, 2010

wild misinformation

Stressed and sleepless overthinking weaknesses within us, while trying to forget saying "I give up". Not knowing what to do next regretting depending on you the way I do. Cause 'you' is cool, it's the bag of heavy luggage that your drudging through my good intentions that got me spent. Selfishness. I carry twice as much just to stay in touch, and you stay in touch with complaints aimed at me. Basically because the company I try to keep. "That's unfair" I always fix my mouth to speak those words, but no matter how right I think I am you retort it's something you don't deserve. I agree, reluctantly, but (curve)swerve with my nerves after being burnt by broken promises. Enthusiasm curbed, and we're both left a little more hurt than we previously were. While we decline to rewind back to learn. We rewind back and repeat the same acts, I guess it's more so 'lesson burned'. My weapon, my words. Earned by dissecting what's around me, cause jokes always found me. People always clowned me, I sunk down and soaked it in. Told myself if I could help it I'd never be soaked again. Grabbed a pen, got it in, and in time what I couldn't hold in hit you and that was never my intentions. Ever. But now, forever I'm stuck, thinking of violence and such that should have never been us. Ever!!



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It's finally here.

"Pay close f*cking attention..."


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-/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Saturday, November 13, 2010

...Boy...






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1 of the more literal questions I have. Well...?




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 -/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Just got Real

Transmitting from the future back into the past... Back to the future... The proverbial sh1t has hit the fan. I'm EXCITED! You shouldn't be, but if you were that'd be cool. What I saw in the future:

Cancer isn't cool at all

Love is love and no1 gets it

Military benefits

Militant thinking/actions

Country music ruled the world

Rock & Roll made a strong resurgence

Hip hop was on welfare (not lying)

Cinemas stimulate... literally (Eewww)(...or...)

TV is the new Cinema.

Divorce terminated marriage

Babies are still being born
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With said shift in the media paradigm things are starting to look up for the youthful generations, albeit is still way too early to be completely sure.

And you don't want to know what you can do with you mind and a bottle of Pinesol! lol

Mr. Clean DID grow hair btw. Sorry Wayne it turned out to not be that "rare" after all.

Giggles and such kind of screwing with this transmission, 1 chance to talk to ya'll bout what I've been seeing (in the future) blown by the above... Gotta get it together, I thought I had it but no, CLEARLY not the case.

... Now about that tv... It was here, it may be while you read it but damn I don't want it in here. Gotta go to work.

For those that know my time traveling is pretty OD with it, guard your ears and eyes there's wild misinformation out there. Only believe the crazy unbelievable stuff from me... or Chris or the other guy.

They're all cool promise!



... Tags might be important... (dot)(blogspot).com

#Workinonit!


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 -/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Friday, November 5, 2010

Posting

Feel really guilty about the list. I destroyed it before leaving you 4 and now I feel like I need to just do away with it completely. I'm not out for a cry for attention honestly but that's what I end up feeling like because of the list. Tripping. I think about what kind of phones you all have and if they alert you immediately after the entry is published. This sh1t embarrasses me, it's not some look at me type ordeal. I only allow the whole 'look at me' aspect of it all is because the 4 left have shown they care about me. Well you know I care about you all, and this blog isn't going anywhere (yet). Just don't forget the address.




A lot of writing to do while Marley prances around. I'll publish (with no list) and those who read will be reliving in MY PAST. Old entries. VERY relevant. Kind of cool I think... Hopefully we can catch up together or I'll be stuck with the four dark walls. aka my own joke nobody got aka myself(er)... Those aren't fun, ask Jess.



*11/4/10 ... it's not over. I'll get you back.*
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 -/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Heavy morning views

"Sometimes I feel like I am all alone. ALL ALONE!!! Aint got nobody I can call my own. CALL MY OWN!! No matter where I go I call it home. CALL IT HOME!!! And if you feel the same then you aint ALL ALONE! Cause I'm right here..."




*Which makes me strong as steel*                    *Mainstream appeal?*




*Before I crossover I just hope you look at the words I wrote in this book*


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All 400+
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 -/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

F*ck else I'ma blame it on?




*looks outside*



-hums -nods


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-/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Brief intermission.






-hums, -nods






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-/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Keep it 100 for 400

"This primitive desire for ownership is secretly a veil of lunacy. You do not belong to me. Love; a combination of like and lust that does not warrant any ownership titles. I despise that you made me forget myself in the process of loving you. I'm passionate; yes. Emotional, hot headed and quick temper are not labels I prefer. You made me crazy, you succeeded in tripping me up.
The huge mass of emotions was a thousand lbs strain. The haggard lines were beginning to bear into my skin and seep into my actions..." - Young Lioness







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-/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Autumn Harvest (has started)


















*Combustion*


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-/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Peace World.




I aint say a thing but don't think I didn't write to this. -hums, -nods



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-/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Monday, October 4, 2010

Soulful Like Easter.

Song that started it all. SMH









*hola bonita...*




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-/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Amazing.




*No bullies allowed dead*ss*






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-/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Best Halloween Ever??






Anticipation building...




*R.I.P. Michael*

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-/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Nympholepsy Sound CHeck Story.



am I wrong for that? Well...





Get hit with a...




But I'll always be..




^
^
*Turtle Lee! Turtle Lee! Turtle Lee!* ;)





So...



f*ck it just..



And I'll...




...My way out this...






*thanks Incubus* *bows*


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 -/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

aMy's black story...

*in order*










these messages are OD I should holla at Charles about doing this up for me. *smiles* onward..





^
SMH

-hums -nods



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 -/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Like really love it...




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 -/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Love this soundtrack! lyrics ftw







as we continue on...
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 -/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Was about to lose my mind on facebook.






*Just to make ya'll WANNA understand*



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 -/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Let that boy cook!!!

Funny Charles with 'swag' lmao







^
^
^
So you can look out of place trying to be like them? I think I've heard this story before... Lil B on the cuts lmao this is too funny. OD!




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 -/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

We back here again?

Seems like every week I get the feeling of wanting to not express how I normally would. I know my intentions when I do express myself and it only serves to dishearten me when they are used against me. I know you've all accounted for me saying I'm in no way an easy person to deal with or have a relationship with. I don't care what that relationship is, I'm difficult and I know it.

I suppose knowing why is more important, but I know the reason behind that too. I'm not a f*cking mystery, I have a big heart and struggle with how I use it.

^
^
Right or wrong? I would say my mouth clouds the intentions of my heart. All this is irrelevant, because it all means I'm feeling. That's more than I can say for the average human beings I've come across in the last year. I have to stop for a second here, some of ya'll were just down right mean people. Dead*ss man, people are growing more malicious by the day it seems, and if spite isn't the driving force behind their actions some other selfish motive is.

What's so wrong with wanting to be the best you can be for every1 in your life? Nothing, but therein lies the problem. If your going to live that way (or try to) you better damn well be able to back it up.

^
^
^
How the f*ck do you back that up? a Godsend spoke to me and put me up on more than a few things I never really got around to thinking about. Guess I needed divine perspectives. I was told that in any situation your going to have some1 that feels SOMETHING! Not in those words, but some1 will have feelings that don't add up with what your trying to put out into the world.

SOME1 WILL HAVE FEELINGS THAT DON'T MATCH UP WITH THE ENERGY YOU INTEND TO PUT OUT INTO THE WORLD!

Sorry for the caps, but I'm not going to be doing much more typing/talking/explaining, and that right there is what we call a 'message'.

You should already know what I'll revert to, though  I DID say it'd be different this time around. I intend to keep my word. Rubin's ready anyway.

Out for the day possibly carrying on into the night and early morning. I will be in touch.



*peace and understanding* -hums, -nods




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 -/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Bitter but chill

Why a response wasn't given back to you last night I'll never know. I was experiencing many different emotions at once and would like to congratulate some1 I care about for being in such a good place in their lives. Kiki it could NEVER change anything basically. I've done a lot of crying/b1tching/explaining on here to the point where I'd definitely be a liar if I allowed things to change.

My ladies... smh

Huge year for dealing with the unexpected. I'm happy for BOTH of you (Squishy what up!), and wouldn't harp on what I couldn't change at this point anyway. Feel like my message is being lost due to sleep exhaustion or lack thereof.

Here... I'm NOT going anywhere until you all ceremoniously boot me out your life through that computer screen and/or phone call. I'm no psychic, better to let time tell it, I just have a fairly accurate hunch about things like this. Just so long as every1 is happy.


*sighs*

whew... Trying to decide whether or not I'm going to be stuck for the day or walking everywhere until I'm stuck. The options really aren't that different, one is likely to land me in a whole new slew of issues, while the other is less efficient..

Stomach says I need to add fuel to the fire before I do a damn thing, had the fuel in mind but I'm wrong if I do anything involving any1 but her so, no. With that realization made I shift my thoughts towards more important things. I got steps to take..


Remember though I AM bitter, understanding where it comes from will allow you to see its because I know how special the both of you are. Dare I... lol Ya'll know!


*Thinks about editing content*


*Disregards against better judgement*


*Decorations... Understanding, There will be peace, and understanding...* -hums, -nods


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 -/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

I just would like to...

Shout outs. Shouts. -nods

Shouts to Family.

Shouts to Rubin.

Shouts to Rough n Rugged.

Shouts to forgetting important things. UGGHHH!!

Shouts to alone time.

Shouts to never having to be alone if you don't want to

*clone yourself and never ever leave your side*

Shouts to Technology.

Shouts to instant gratification.

Shouts to Pizza.

Shouts to intelligence.

Shouts to logic.

Shouts to being able to take care of yourself (and others).

Shouts to living under your family.

Shouts to freaky sh1t. *only girls of course boys are still icky*

Shouts to being miserable.

Shouts to being lonely.

Shouts to being sensitive.

Shouts to being a b1tch.

Shouts to *pullin no punches*

Shouts to Google.

Shouts to the content on dictionary.com

Shouts to money.

Shouts to the illuminati

Shouts to musicians.

Shouts to finishing out a list.

Shouts to jobs.

Shouts to me, I'm still here.

Shouts to my last remaining hope in marriage (there will be none after).

Shouts intoxication.

Shouts to addiction.

Shouts to life.

Shouts to death.

Shouts to the all the painfully average chicks calling each other ugly.

Shouts to the beautiful ladies who say nothing at all.

Shouts to the dead*ss ugly girls who try and shine because they're more than a face or... (lol)

Shouts to my old girls ya'll were tough, and INSPIRED shout outs that counts for a lot.

Shouts to the most supportive b1tch of them all. * ***** * (sorry for calling you a b1tch).

Shouts to sleepless nights.

Shouts to sleep filled nights.

Shouts to mornings :)

Shouts to favorite shows...

*back to scathing*

Shouts to the people who turned their backs.

Shouts to the people that forgot.

Shouts to the people that remembered.

Shouts to the people that STILL care, I see you (I've been watching/listening).

Shouts to the people that won't get it (again, I've been watching/listening).

Shouts to the people who keep it *Western Union* (100)

Shouts to the people who LIE to me, I love you.

Shouts to the people who tell half of the truth... Can never tell which is worse..

Shouts to Saved by the Bell... For the boyhood crushes.. OD

Shouts to the Mile High Club.

Shouts to not being afraid to cry.

Shouts to Inception.. The movie and the meaning.

Shouts to those I care about.

Shouts to dreams

Shouts to inspiration..


_ _
 -/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Misunderstanding.

I will be single, alone, and miserable for a long time. The equations really aren't that hard to set up, nor are they difficult to decipher. My lifestyle wants subtract from my needs. My own stubbornness allows me to carry on knowing I'll lose in the end. Some would argue it's stubbornness I'm even still here at all. Call it what you want but I will become, stay, and remain single due to a misunderstanding.


^
^
^
History says a misunderstanding will do much more then land me 'alone and miserable', but I know what I'm saying, so there it is.

Somethings I can't even begin to comprehend sometimes so I say shout out to Alex cause she's playing the same game I am. No telling on whether or not she knows she's losing too, I haven't gotten that far in with her yet. As I'm typing this I'm wondering if content needs to be edited. I've tried to be more open about my happenings and that hasn't really faired to well. Hence me losing.

Feeling awfully sick right now very suddenly.. Need a bathroom..    

That was intense.

Reminds me I wasn't supposed to write anything on here. Apparently this is where I go to talk bad about Jessica people whenever I feel like I'm catching the wrong end of the proverbial sharp stick. well *my fault miss lady, my fault.*                                                

I love Marley she's mine but I think she's been mad at me. I'll snuggle you when we sleep tonight baby!

^
^
Too much.


Words are being too kind to me. I should do well to remember to return the favor, but in this case it probably won't happen before I pass out. I'm tripping, remembering things old and new all at once. I hope my stuff's charged up..

smh at the direction this went.

^
^
^
Holds true for everything, this entry is complete.


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 -/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Blankness

I'm getting drowsy do you know why? Probably not but it's underlined everything on here to both fb spots... and then I stop.


Feeling like going in NOT feeling like going in. I don't like feeling indifferent to my own thoughts. I SHOULD care more than I do, yet I'm okay knowing I care as little (which is more than you anyway) as I do.

These are random placements of basic thoughts brought together by blankness brought over by an overanxious mind.

^
^
^
K I'm done being bored on my blog, sh1t there's supposed to be everything for me to do on here yet, I'm rambling... again... I can't help it I'm loving the interactions I'm getting today and like I said up there I'm feeling drowsy lol. I swear today is 1 of them days I let my mouth get me into trouble (check) and I make people raise those eyebrows as curious/worried/angered onlookers. It's all good though I know who I'm talking to!

Ok so this paragraph will bring some focus to this whole thing.. Friends, and I use that word very hesitantly. Please don't feel like it's a problem to speak to me about issues. I'm not the 1 to feel intimidated in front of or speaking to. TRUST ME. I guess I should just say check the blog, and then see what I mean. This is stemming from friends of mine not really opening up with me, which is fine, you definitely don't have to. I just don't want the reason you don't to be because your Pnoid bout being judged, cause that'll NEVER be the case. EVER.

Anyway I want to be able to help people, especially my friends. I don't have very many, and they (you) should know I care about them a great deal. I love you all. Like deadass with a late pass. Get that Eminem in your system #NotAfraid

I told a friend today my blog told a story... Then I thought about it, and yes it really does. I'm sure you can get too much information about me from here, and I'm sure there have been multiple changes and evolutions. Maybe I should highlight the ones I th.... nah never mind, its there if you want to.

I made the distinction between blogs and notes, and then preceded to not use any notes! WTF? Well those are coming to. There'll be artists quotes. Important/unusual information relative to me and my closest peoples! ... So you might wanna stay on top of those when they start dropping on the Turtle's page.

Yoo speaking of which (shout out to Margot just cuz n1gga! lol) Chris Wilson continues to get more play/run/action than my n1gga Turtle.. Doesn't make sense but whatever. Maybe it's because Chris is naked and Turtle doesn't have a real face? Whatever, like I said, stupid.

^
^
^
As in who's dictating all this?

Anyway I'm literally being summoned away now. The evening better prove more peaceful then the first part of my day it's curtains for me holding my feelings back. Which could be a good thing... right? shouts to Jessica Mean Bear Davis!





Feeling in love *MUAH*




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 -/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Thursday, September 30, 2010

See my ears are different.










Which 1 do you think came 1st? Lol it's Hilarious how much this n1gga be talking to you.






*having mad b1tches is looking shakey...*








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 -/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

What I really meant was

Why people think me walking away is me throwing something away? Don't quite understand that, I feel like I've been throwing sh1t away for quite some time, and I just started understanding that. See I knew I was trash or resembled such because I was discarded, and left in the muck. Dirty as what's on the inside of the street sweeper trucks. The lining of bucks becomes rare to the touch, I've come to like the holes in my hands. Liking is an overstatement but the hole left from my man's is still strong standing or floating... But get some money honey I know you got yours, kinda left me floored. Sick of being ignored but that's a "tossup" at the worst. More cents might prove to make dude rude and lose sense, but a humble streak peaked out with 1 inch and 6 feet. Terrible things wait, let me pop up. I got incredible grooves to change moods if I wanna. Baby talk. You know I'm gonna do whatever I gotta, but let me hit this first get on with my lazy walk. 2 in 1 not 2 for 1 that'd be a good deal. Word to the cigarette shop around the corner from the spot with the 5 red lights.. not a night so I'm not over there but maybe a close by night will find me back over there. With my stolen fears looking up at me, I wave goodbye happily.  To the left of me she, but even she shape shifts so frequently forcing me to travel back through the past just to find a pretty memory. Went left, and got left. Went back and got blasted through reality checks... You know so society could say whether or not I passed it? What you think? Like, really, did I pass it? Let's just assume I'm in the back of the classes. Paying more attention being quietly more attentive then the people in the front of the class. So they say look at this classless ass spazzing in here. They don't care that I'm dirty poor and hurting let alone hard working. They got a problem with me cause I'm not there! Come on, I can't be everywhere... Can hardly stand to be inside my head. Hard to stand without reaching for my meds. Pretty long lasting prescription for what I've been depicting. Feeling invincible could be good or bad, when I get to feeling like that my actions aren't sensible. Get a bag fill it up with my most important stuff. Contemplating if bringing my dog along will make it all too tough. Lying on my back wondering how the stars see us, until I'm blessed enough to seal them shut on my own. Feeling like home is where my feet are. That's pretty hard, or soft... Laughing in the grass I feel its time for my mind to sneak off... Really i was NEVER there so here, and hear understanding to why I speak soft... Still moving, on lost but at least it's not off...


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 -/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Conversations with Rubin

I've been having some deep talks with Rubin trying to let him voice his concerns with where I'm heading. First off I tell him be cool, I know it's tough dealing with me my dude but just know that we are in it together. I think he understands now.

Which means new sounds can now work towards being accepted. It's been silent for too long.. Well not really, but I don't consider your noise audible noise. My dude proved that a LONG time ago, but I just got it last night.

106 n Park is just interesting.. I see what ya'll like though, and I'm not mad. Just trying to understand, and that's where I'll be (mentally) for awhile. Do you think it's backwards to gain understanding of others through music they may or may not accept? I wonder...

I really should point out I'm in a very bitter part of my life. Meaning I feel like a veil has been pulled over my eyes while I've been spun around for greater disorienting affects. The results is me not giving much of f*ck right now. I'm telling you cause it honestly scares me knowing I'll act 1st and think later. There's no telling I'll be guaranteed my later diggeth?

Getting kind of weird now...





*tacos then pop up then well... tacos*



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 -/Rebel2Society\-v(**)



hold u down

Just Wow.

^
^
^
I can't plan stuff like this. Can't do it. Love that I can't, and it still happens with such perfect timing. My time is everything besides little numbers like this. Enjoy, this is my favorite song off the GodleebarnesLP.






^
^
^
1st heard this on a solo excursion in San Diego. Wasn't really 'solo' but at the time I was walking around looking for a bathroom, food, and girls. Well not for girls that would be dishonest, I was looking AT them though. Least I could do all the guys naked out there anyway, I require even playing fields... too much...


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 -/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Monday, September 27, 2010

When 2 plus 1 doesn't add up.

Aka when your chick and you music no longer coexist.

See I can zone to my music all day with or without some1. I'd prefer it to be with some1 else just so I can see how outer space my thinking is when compared with their earthly views. *chuckle*

However, half the time I don't get their opinion at all so that's neither here nor THERE lol. The worst is when I get an opinion that isn't theirs at all. Why curb what YOU think cause I'M weird?? Makes little sense to me.

Moving right along. Few things can compare to the joy that comes over me when I get ready to listen to unheard music. *rephrasing* (f*ck it)

However I DO have a girl won't even shout her out cause she's close to the end of my shout. Trouble comes when I have this other "chick" I'm trying to f*ck with. My excitement can't be messed with I'm telling you that much now. Consequently (essay style), my b1tch clashing with my chick. You figure out who's who cause I'm done thinking I know to find some1/thing new.
^
^
^
... Which would make me excited if you were...

These 2 keep conflicting with each other amongst other things. You sheisty b1tches need to watch out. Shout out to my habits I only care about.

*1 and 1 and 1 and 1 and 1* <<=== a lot of habits


Lastly, love to those that take time out to understand me amidst the bullsh*t you surely must have to sift through to get dude, or me, or him too.

Just not looking good for relationship season... But you'll know cause Uknow!

_ _
 -/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

On Another Note

The distinction has been made. New notes to be posted on my fb page full of interesting content *rolls eyes* Speaking of content... A blog is a blog. A note is like 15 things rolled into 1. More on that later.. The direction these entries will be taking. Greece/Rome Gods/Goddesses Astrology charts (apparently we're in WHAT age now?) ...

Strictly because I'm interested. Figured it'd be a welcome change from music and OTHER things... Hmmm My online presence will be APPARENT. Fun fun fun... Catch me in person though! <<--- smh






*laughter*





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 -/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Sunday, September 26, 2010

My skin's grown thin.

^
^
^
Should be the title to something I'm writing cause it's ill lol... What if every blog was written out into some sort of verse/poem before it actually became the blog entry you eventually read? Hmmmm... Just something to think about...

Stop letting things get to you and just get to the things 1st. That's the point of this here entry. I don't want to be on my spiteful sh1t, because I know I can, and I go in. I don't know what it is in me that allows me to possess such an embodiment of evil, but trust me it's there. Instead of attacking those I'm not in good standings with, I'm going to effectively ignore them.


"All you care about is..."

^
^
^
The statement that set me off, or a summary of it paraphrased for your crystal clear understanding. I don't know, I just LOVE being told what I do and don't care about. I should let people do that more often.. Next time for that, however, this time I will definitely take heed of what was said. People have to be accountable for what comes out of their mouths it's as simple as that.

I wish people would slap me with some direct quotes geez... It'd be that much harder to talk my way out of something.

I don't want to go on too long there was a reason for this specifically, and I think I've achieved it. Just letting you all know I'm a little more fed up than I was yesterday. Which consequently is me being more fed up than I was the day before. It's just NOT a good look.

When some1 says "all you care about.... blah blah blah blah" to me they better be ready to eat the whole damn sentence. *sighs* spiteful. Maybe, but what about motivational? Like I'm going to either motivate you or myself to make a change, and when I flick the switch to undergo that change? SMH

That's it lol







*But what the hell do I know I just chill UNDER trees*

^
^
-Nods










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 -/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Fall back!

If I'm too much of anything in a negative connotation fall the f*ck back. Reason being, I don't need to hear what I'm not to you, if you feel that way get another me. Dime a dozen I'm sure, go shopping and buy your happiness cause I'm NOT it. Just felt the extra need to put this out here coming off a night where I was back outside and feeling very out of place.

I know what I like/love and what I don't, it's that simple. Forcing me to change what I know to work for me isn't a good look. Forcing yourself to change what you know won't work for you isn't a good look. Does anybody feel me, like can I get a good look? This goes for every single relationship I can think of.

Don't want to think of them at the moment, I know I NEED to work on them so I'm not looking like the perfect saint here. As stated above, just felt the need to address it. Be happy with me, or be happy without me. I think the past half year has shown I'm comfortable or confused enough to foot it alone. Chill.




More to come later. Trying to decipher the difference between a blog and a facebook note. There has to be a difference (in concept and context) otherwise there's no need for both of them, and I need both of them. Do you need it?
_ _
 -/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Saturday, September 18, 2010

2 Minute Free write.... Go!

Taking as much time as I find I have to breakaway from the hectic schedule I have. Escape the life that I'm living no dice my escapism is just a different type of prison I know. few do though so I'm here to explain. Although the people who get it aren't near me its plain to see they hear me. I see them in my happy memories when reality bleeds painful truths to the things I would do. So past tense as if I'm new, I like to believe that to be my truth, but you know... Shit happens I'm just above an excuse. Take my words as proof that I Do think of you it's just not cool when my feelings get overused. Or over used to what they can't have, not saying I can't reach and grab, but taking another stab at that always leaves me thinking what's the use?




^
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Maybe I should finish that... a lot on my mind 2 minutes wasn't nearly enough, but that's all I have time for!



*they ARE all connected*








_ _
 -/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Sunday, September 12, 2010

UP(late)date

I don't know why it seems late I'm writing listening to things I haven't gotten a chance to listen to, reading, watching, and letting my thoughts skip around my head...

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^
That was another not-so-late night similar to this 1. I'm happy to report the thoughts skipping around my head are there with profound reason. It appears I've gotten a grip. I really do have to apologize for those that have been trying to email me. I've seemingly fallen into a pattern habit of ruining well running technology.

*shrugs*  Everything should be handled and back in it's place until I decide to switch phones again. I have been writing quite a bit, the more I write the more excited about what I'm writing I get. Coincidentally it's also the more self-conscious I get about what I'm writing so I'll take that a little step at a time.

Some1 HAS to see it or I'll feel... some kind of way. YES inspiration is apparent, but I have to keep in mind what I think is very clear usually is marred in encryption to others. More reason why the source of my inspiration is special.

I said (I think) I wanted to start picking my favorite (insert number here) lines for every week. I really do want to do this, but now I'm thinking it won't just be from me. Or it will, but I'll have a separate list to include others' work I've come to appreciate. I'm discovering some dope writers out there. Word to Sasha Janai.

I'm going to think on this though, with some planning it could be more than what I initially planned, and I think that's definitely a good thing. My whole angle is this, I LOVE to write, and I know others out there are like me in regard, so let's get it popping and build up to help each other out.

Michelle hit me! lol all the writing talk made me think of that but yo 2nd paragraph.

Kanye's a musical genius. Just had to point that out.

I am going to be more conscious of what I'm speaking on. It was brought to my attention music is all I speak on, which isn't at all true, it just happens to be what others are willing to discuss. I draw examples and common ties through music because of the previous sentence. NOT to say that it ISN'T therapeutic for me I'm just pointing out there's a reason for everything.

Especially when your on a solo tip for most hours of the day. Which I DO mind, but deal with accordingly. This week is going to be full of interesting situations. I'll make sure to detail them as best I can.

lol chill this some OD sh1t right here... GUY "I need to take a break," WOMAN "Why did your d1ck break?"
^
^
^
More reason why girls are too much lol. That's from HUNG btw I don't need any trouble caused by this hobby.

Backpacks are where it's at right now... R2 is clean and I'm feeling like a Turtle =)
You know what's sick about Chris being Turtle? THEY made Turtle and THEY aren't around anymore... Kinda ill.

Question: What would a 'Rebel2society' look like if illustrated? What does THE rebel2society look like when illustrated? Pondering your answers...



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 -/Rebel2Society\-v(**)





Thursday, September 9, 2010

Do the Math



Loving my pen right now. Funny I started this BEFORE you played me. smh


_ _
 -/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

To lose inspiration...

Just as quickly as inspiration can come it can go. Happens to me all the time yesterday being the most recent. It's not necessarily a bad thing, I know why I lost the inspiration to write what I had planned to I just wonder if it will come back (it will) and when...

Started off nicely just faded in a major way. More long walks should provide the ammunition I'm looking for, though I have had a lot of questions arising spurning from this morning alone. Today has been so empty...



_ _
 -/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

To be Inspired

I love when something very small in the grand scheme of the day/week/month/year/etc. goes on to provide a wealth of inspiration for me and my mind. Maybe I'll post what "inspired"work looks like later. Regardless.

*thank you*


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 -/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Monday, September 6, 2010

Dumb People

Mind all Meth addict.



*I mean come on it sounds dumb*


_ _
 -/Rebel2Society\-v(**)






Sunday, September 5, 2010

Some wIErd Sh*t

 If its "I before E, except after C", WTF is up with weird?

^
^
^
It's an example of the word defining itself literally.





as said by the Nahright comment writers...



*That is all*


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 -/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Saturday, September 4, 2010

I Need My sugar somethin Like THIS








He cooked for you? So, I cooked for you. Did you actually see him cook for you? That n1gga aint cook for you!



still looking for the perfect verse over a tight beat though... and her food gotta be delicious AND nutritious!



*Mos Def Knows*
_ _
 -/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

If you can't tell me what you can't tell me...


Then you can't tell me NOTHING!


Definitely gonna let my dude Charles speak for me for a LONG TIME. Listen to this THEN tell me you wanna be my girl...




^
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^
Those that didn't listen are cut now. Those that listened and learned nothing just means we wouldn't work anyway. Those that listened and took something away from it we might be on the same page, if that's the case anythings possible. 



*I'm a heartbroken poet I'm supposed to be tough*



-nods




_ _
   -/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Thursday, September 2, 2010

"No1 Man Should have all This Sour"

Told my pen I was still sour I was severing our bond, going to the keyboard she said 'hey hon' I'm thinking cool, a poem every hour. Dousing fire with randomly placed words seems absurd I heard once that flying through curves with the birds helps you spot a healthy herd. The like-minded folks secretly wishing the worst to get worse cause the reason behind what they spoke was stolen and replaced with a hearse. It gets darker, but take this as an attempt to remove the blades from my back, I feel used undeserving of that action, and that which is half a fraction of making no sense leaves me silent thinking of where my mind went. Probably with them in the wind backstabbing bastards. I lent a familiar description 2pac gave to me and squeezed tightly to those words. Which is to say I went my way before my high days with intense listening. Missing my own intensity dousing my own fires with broken logic. Cool if she got it, better than broken heart pieces from a flesh made locket. However mine are. Scoop them up into my pocket, toss the hammer that did the damage walking on feeling weak, love famished. Out of pocket.





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 -/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Late 4...

Late for a buzz I'm so ready to get up thought my pen would suffice but I  haven't been using it enough. Next drug, don't listen to me please. Yet listening is all I ever wanted, you see without eyes or ears to fall onto, these words long to be recognized. I lie to myself so they know in order to rectify what isn't real, they have to go behind my back and fin somebody that'll fill them up. Taking away what some say is bliss. Now how is this, I'm lost in it but using it as an excuse for my gift. I say gift because I'm breathing living still unsure if believing in you is completely wrong to do. Dangerous to the psyche or not, definitely harmful word to the knots my heart pumps through. Being true through and through but unaware if being through is public worthy if it's unbelievable by either two. I'm just chilling with no thrills though I could go back on what I said and pop up til what I said comes out of my mind and into my sight instead. Hallucinations for those of you confused, if I'm over your head, be comfortable. I'm over mine too. Typing is cool, provides a direct link into my lies, my windows looking surprised I'm just trying to keep my A in front of evil while I stand in front the mirror. Backwards to most but getting that helps you understand clearer. Watching the watch on my forearm, it never ticks just kind of fades away as time goes on. Tattoos of abuse word I hit you a few times too, but I'm sure of where I stand unfortunately music holds all my truths. 


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 -/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Prequel to me

So as much writing as I have been doing for myself I just realized this entire time I've had no efficient way of keeping up with what I write... I don't know just feels like if I wanted to I couldn't rate what I've written. That's where other people's opinions were supposed to come into play, but I'm typing to myself again, so I get it.

The start of writing to whoever it is up here or there. I just want... don't know.

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An entry representing me, confused, unsure, and a day late.




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 -/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Wrong Buttons

My b*tch chick bad but...






... Just saying...


*If I can use the word right*



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 -/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Monday, August 30, 2010

Blows/Blow/Mines/Mine

A lot of people been talking real greasy like I ain't been up on slick sh*t since I was a misunderstood misfit, throwing subliminal's in and around my vicinity, and I'm not even f*ckin visible right now. CHill out before it gets addressed in a major way.

Coincidence it all starts happening when I can't properly make verbal rebuttals? Some1 must of thought I needed to get back to blogging. Sure-type FTW! While I think over what I've been hearing I'll let my hands roam free, sounds fair and it should be. Sucks that doesn't mean it WILL be though. Shouts to the twitter folks cause they keep it interesting lol. I haven't been on there cause well Iphone's are gay.

Yeah, apple is trying to block me out and so far they are doing 1 hell of a job. I like you twitter but not enough to put up with what I deem as 'too much' to use your services... (Google any1?)

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*Awwww sh*t*



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3's FTW.

Momma watch and drop then off to the land of heavy sedation and EXTREME listening... Hey they say drugs are bad. I agree, when it's in it's proper context. Drug researching later too. Why? Because they're in me, and more are soon to follow. Cringe-worthy??

*nods*





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 -/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Thanks Geanna

Feel free to send me music. I'm open to everything, and guess what? I'll actually give you MY OPINION on whatever it is I've been sent.






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This song struck a chord in me from the beginning. Can't lie getting down and making mistakes is human, it's admitting to yourself you have a problem or are actually wrong that's the hard part... Or even *embarrassed* I think that's a tough 1.  It's hard for people to admit they are embarrassed ESPECIALLY when looking in the mirror.

I've undergone quite the extreme changes in the last few months, and I think I've been avoiding the fact that I AM embarrassed with where I'm at. People I used to be around I either can't be around because of how I feel about myself or they can't be around me for... whatever.. All in all self-esteem starts to drop and that can be a tricky spiral to climb out of.

Anyway rambling, twas not the point. Thank you for offering me a different look on my situation, and for having the thoughtfulness to be there when I haven't.




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 -/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Cosmic Hop-Scotch?

It's amazing what Cosmic therapy can do for you, even if for a little while I DO feel better. I wanna post it but I feel conflicted I mean I know where my allegiances lie when it comes to the big HE in the sky but my vices are loves of my life.

Chilleth Fair.

This song is OD... Posting later.

Vino keep your head man. I love you like you were born 5 (number of letters inside the word blood) and I'm going to keep letting you know I'M HERE FOR YOU pause, ayo! and all the likes. Lol Stuff gets tough and we're left with just enough belief to trudge through the doubt. *shrugs* All I can say is I'm here with you, right along side you feeling the same way. So eyes to the sky and take flight.

*stopIt5*

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Get it now? aimed at the 1 ALL my negativity is apparently directed toward.



Like I said it's OD but I won't tell you to kill yourself.


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"... I'm embarrassed. I'm Alone, I need help..."


*Thank You*


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 -/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Monday, August 23, 2010

Awesomeness When I listen...

I mean I think I can write okay from time to time, but more often in music I find words and emotions being conveyed in a manner I couldn't achieve. That's why I'm so adamant with the postings of certain songs/videos/lyrics. I'm a HUGE fan, what can I say?

Perfect example of this here...







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Doesn't get much better than that. I added in some rappity rap too. Shouts to 50. Cee-Lo I am a fan.

Wasn't that awesome?



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 -/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Aptly Titled

If you can reach, stretch.


AZ "Feel My Pain" (Official video) from Clockwork Music on Vimeo.


Any phones near by?




_ _
 -/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Feeling Depressed.

Not because of where I'm at, but because of how difficult I feel its going to be very soon. Much sooner than I would like or am ready for.






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When that soon becomes the now, I feel like all I will have to lean on is music. So it's time to make sure I got my bag of tricks up to date. (Bag of tricks up to date? ill for so many reasons..)

This song makes me feel like I'm walking toward the battlefield. Like I can dead*ss see my people dying off in the distance and instead of preserving my own life I'm steadily walking toward the fight to join in. The question is would I be joining in if I felt I had a choice?

*CH and Marley Know*


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 -/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Sunday, August 22, 2010

I can't be the only 1

sin·gle

  [sing-guhl]  Show IPA adjective, verb, -gled, -gling, noun
–adjective
1.
only one in number; one only; unique; sole: a single example.
2.
of, pertaining to, or suitable for one person only: a singleroom.
3.
solitary or sole; lone: He was the single survivor.
4.
unmarried: a single man.
5.
pertaining to the unmarried state: the single life.
6.
of one against one, as combat or fight.
7.
consisting of only one part, element, or member: a singlelens.
8.
sincere and undivided: single devotion.
9.
separate, particular, or distinct; individual: Every single oneof you must do your best. It's the single most importantthing.
10.
uniform; applicable to all: a single safety code for allmanufacturers.
11.
(of a bed or bedclothes) twin-size.
12.
(of a flower) having only one set of petals.
13.
British of standard strength or body, as ale, beer, etc.Compare double def. 1 .
14.
(of the eye) seeing rightly.
–verb (used with object)
15.
to pick or choose (one) from others (usually fol. by out ): tosingle out a fact for special mention.
16.
Baseball .
a.
to cause the advance of (a base runner) by a one-basehit.
b.
to cause (a run) to be scored by a one-base hit (oftenfol. by in  or home ).
–verb (used without object)
17.
Baseball to hit a single.
–noun
18.
one person or thing; a single one.
19.
an accommodation suitable for one person only, as a hotelroom or a table at a restaurant: to reserve a single.
20.
a ticket for a single seat at a theater.
21.
British .
a.
a one-way ticket.
b.
a steam locomotive having one driving wheel on eachside.
22.
an unmarried person, esp. one who is relatively young.
23.
Baseball Also called one-base hit. a base hit that enables abatter to reach first base safely.
24.
singles, used with a singular verb a match with one playeron each side, as a tennis match.
25.
Golf twosome def. 4 .
26.
Cricket a hit for which one run is scored.
27.
Informal a one-dollar bill.
28.
a phonograph record, CD, or cassette usually having twosongs.
29.
one of the songs recorded on a single.
30.
Often, singles. Textiles .
a.
reeled or spun silk that may or may not be thrown.
b.
a one-ply yarn of any fiber that has been drawn andtwisted.
Origin: 
1275–1325;  late ME (adj.), ME sengle  < OF < L singulus individual, single, (pl.) one apiece, deriv. of *sem-  one ( seesimplex)

quasi-single, adjective
qua·si-g·ly, adverb
un·sin·gle, adjective

1. signalsingle 2. single, singular.


1.  distinct, particular. 3.  isolated. 4.  unwed. 15.  select. 18. individual. 






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 -/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

DO I MAKE SENSE YET!?

Or am I just... Senseless?