Now it's this, blame.. Yup, I do.

Pages

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Things to Look Forward To

This is specifically for tonight so lets get it!

I'm thinking some form of alcohol to alter the state ofmind that isn't mine. Maybe I'll find the old me??  Hmm I'll leave it at that. Food! I'm eating good tonight, and I'm not worried about another persons stomach 1 bit, I set this up for myself and people been acting SUPER shady!

Boondocks! Gotta love that show (Peep the older posts), and this 3rd/final season hasn't been too bad. My expectations are usually the same from episode to episode, be creative and make me laugh. I don't get caught up in all the contreversy, cause that's stupid. I'm hunting for smiles and laughs.

I'm trying to beat Modern Warfare 2 tonight. It'll happen, and I know I'm late on this but chill lol. I got the game played the single player campaign mode halfway through exactly in like 2 days, then hopped online. That was the end of my single player voyage right there lol online is a monster on that game.

*PS3 4Life or until something better comes*

^
^
^
Sound familiar?

*scoffs at wedding vows*

^
^
^
I COULD try and beat Final Fantasy 7 tonight as well, although I'm sure doing that would force me to actively be up through the night. I don't know, as much as I want to purchase Final Fantasy 8 I'm going to hold off on the prospect of finishing this off.


Can I just say I don't really like the show True Blood? Yes I know i'm in the minority here, but I don't care that show gives vampires country accents. *NOT COOL*

I may diveI deeper into 1 of my favorite anime shows Trigun. No finishing that tonight, especially with the sh*tty internet connections I've been experiencing. How about this though? I just stay up with laptop in... lap, and talk to you all? I like that idea, but probably the least likely to go down.

I miss those I haven't spoken to in awhile. i had to revert to myspace today *shivers*. I DO need to reactivate my facebook account to get to a certain individual but that's going to be purposefully brief. Hopefully more than a few people will be up with me keeping me company. But if not, then it's back to figuring out who's better than who in the rap world.


^
^
^
No easy task. My head hurts from attempting earlier smh.

That's it for now though, time to disappear into the wind. Goodbye friends.

Gone!

_ _
-/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Lakers/Boston

As a fan of the Lakers I am beyong frustrated. As a fan of the NBA I am beyond frustrated. Has nothing to do with the outcome of these games either. All I have to say regarding the current status of this year's Finals is this; the best team will win.

If things go how most every1 predicted I'll be a happy laker fan in the next week. Some1 else not named Kobe Bryant, its ok to you know, step up and play. Just saying...

Gone!

_ _
-/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Top 5 Defined by ME

Not much defining going on, but here's a list of my top 5 FAVORITE emcees right now. Peep it well, and don't laugh.

Nas, Jay-Z, Lupe Fiasco, Kanye, Eminem, Charles Hamilton, and Jean Grae.

Notice the problem?? Anyway a very extensive explanation and breakdown is in the works right now. BTW this is no particular order... I mean there's not even 5 up there! smh

Gone!

_ _
-/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

SMILEZ

MARGOTCHAR

It sounds weird but Ifind attachments in those gone due to distance latch on to some new friends but they dont fit. It's old sh*t so I do what I have to just to deal with it. Not today though  hate to say so but I'm cold looking past what calms me in my very own soul. To hear it told back to me I'm backwards acting  like I'm 13 well, I do have those jeans. My favorite pair there can't you see I'm undoubtedly stuck on the path to being me. Oh well Its better than being jailed on attempt to be exempt from fails you don't get it though. The thrills the hills the ups and the free falls is all apart of what makes this all go from the start. Never claimed 'fancy' like bogard even if it go hard I'm grounded I don't ever go far. Matter of fact my car's been parked out back just like that for days. So don't laugh when I say mines is brightest thinking about their cheeks perked up and lips flipped the right way. frowns send me downward....




Dedicated to the smiles of Char, Margot, and Julia Roberts




^
^
^
Ok it'd make sense if you saw what was in my book lol thanks all.


Gone!
_ _
-/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Angel's Touch

If you could imagine your very own guardian angel what would he/she/it look like? Would it be something out of a fantasy world, or resemble some1 you already know?

I think about this a lot. Moreso when I'm upset left with my thoughts playing ping pong back in forth inside my head. Yet, while I hae ideas of what my Angel may be like, she's faceless. Yes, my angel's a chick, I suppose I never will learn my lesson.

"A lot of truth is said in jest" Eminem

I always pay attention to the 'jokes' people throw at you. Malicious or not, that's just the way I've built my mind up to work. I've been tossed out of the apartment FINALLY. Can't say it wasn't deserved, can't even say it was reserved for me, just that some 'jokes' take too much of a toll for me to look past.

Hmmm who reading this wants to live with me? It'd be interesting, You have to have a love for all things that go boom and bap lol. Dead*ss though, potential roommates needed. I'd rather not have to worry about footing it alone, but then again, maybe that's EXACTLY what I need to be worrying about.

You really can't be afraid of fatigue... But I'm set in my fatigues uncomfortably blending in. I now have the wack task of finding the moment ripe enough with good feelings to surpass the ugliness of the past just to leave, and get my shorts back...

I'm sick of bullies. Sick sick sick sick sick sick sick to my f*ckin stomach. I can't decide what bothers me more though. The fact that I knowingly let these things happen, or the fact that I don't do anything about it. Sick.

Truth be told, I take as much as I do probably subconsciously out of guilt. I wasn't the nicest little boy running around, but still enough's getting to really be enough.

I have no shortage of experience when burning things up to irreplaceable status', and fear that's about where I'm getting ready to pack my bags and head off to. I'm just trying to give my Angel a face before I do. Don't want to be alone trudging through a dark swamp, and I want to know what the Angel holding my hand through it all looked like.

Fed up... Something in my left hand feels broken, Its crazy swollen right now. See Ivan? the OFF hand man lol smh

People getting too loose with their mouths time to check out.


Gone!



_ _
-/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Lost in Obsession

Reaching past the point of being annoyed right next to a meltdown preferring to take a blowup. I don't know I know I'm tempted with things that God must be placing in front of me to say 'Look your not invincible lil n*gga'.




^

^

^

Trying to be honest without being nonchalant about disregarding privacy. *deep breaths* I suppose it'll all work out in the long run right? Right...?

OD'n right now. I really want to rip some1's head off with my words Slim Shady style.

'Damned if I did damned if I didn't. I lost what I had planned and envisioned. A man with many women and if any women argue, I would stand with my pretty women. All, defending me.'

^

I kind of feel like that right now. I made a comment about 1 of my friend's earlier today, and that comment probably was taken the wrong way. I meant to convey a feeling of frustration with the current model for human interaction. I realize that most people would NOT have taken that from what I said.

'Late at night I'm alive. Dreaming about thoughts of yesterday. Screaming about my thoughts of yesterday. I wish I could talk to yesterday'

^

There are those things which I have tucked away deep inside, that I feel are issues that deserve to be addressed. I don't know if it'll happen 'publicy' or not, most likely not, but I DO need to man up and hold a view conversations. Being without my phone has allowed me plenty of excuses as to why I'm 'falling back' again, but I only wonder what the outcome will be when I'm very accessible.

Jean Grae makes me want to write dead*ss. I'm on a terrible streak with my pen lately. At least to me, I guess no1 else would know lol. I just might try to snap if the next song's instrumental is one of those 'heart tuggers'.

^

^

I don't really like this song.. I take that back the vibe wasn't what I was looking for... Maybe next time for you free mind.

Charles says his sh*t is done. I'm hyped, you should already know! So many questions I want answered but yo we'd be here all day lol. Stuff will be up on here as soon as I get it though. Speaking of Chuck and anticipating music. Where the f*ck is my All-City Chess Club I'm beamin remix!?



Lupe your doing it again, and its not cool my dude. Anyway I thought I'd have it like 3 weeks ago, but its looking like I'll have to exercise some MORE patience (or just listen to Recovery on repeat =) ). Funny Eminem's body of work should come up here. Much like Lupe did with his 'Enemy of The State' mixtape, Eminem's Recovery has forced me to redefine my definition of a skillful emcee.

Look back if you'd like, I went IN for Lupe after that mixtape dropped. The level of creativity and detail he used with his rhymes/metaphors on that joint were ridiculous. The level of mastery Eminem shows with his lyricism/flow is retarded. So yes, once again (my) hip hop world has been turned on its head.

My advice to any of those reading this, or remotely curious to what I'm talking about. Ignore the words I'm writing and give the music a chance. I'm just sick of the close mindedness I've been facing with music as of late lol.

Good music will prevail, I guess I look at the ups and downs of the music industry with the same slighted eye and wishful encouragement as I do with the human race.

^

^

^

I really try to have faith in humanity. Silly, I know but hey, I haven't been able to shake this naive way of thinking. Now take that and re-read the 1st quote. POW!



At this point, making fun of me will only isolate me more. Misunderstanding me will only confuse the confidence I've built up in you. I've tried giving EVERY1 a piece of what they asked for. At this point, I could cry about how genuinely angry/upset I get, or I can address it my way and move on.

I just don't want to be looked at as some1 who didn't try to appease those I care about.



"Quick to sober up but no I'm going in so..."

Is that 4 CH quotes in 1 post? Lol you have to forgive me I haven't even been listening to dude much the past few days. Besides the quotes come from the top of my head anyway... Go figure.

*PAUSE*

I'm having the most random of thoughts right now check it. Larry David teaching his pops how to smoke a joint lol hilarious.

Take a second to take a second glimpse opportunities missed but raised to never quit. Acceptance is something I can't get 1 minute it is the next its getting switched, for whatever's popping at the moment. I can't condone this. Morales, and princeables are the backbone of how I choose to live. I'm strong with a message depicted like the iron fist black glove cover. king of the flings, but an intimate lover. Tucked or uncovered you have to be the 1 to let me go. Smothered with my dreams and nothing else, and on call to help when It's a woman's touch I need to feel. I could get ill, but my will isn't used toward pushing what isn't real into position to go for the steal. Besides few accept me for me, they all expect me to be like everybody... Else. My genuine generosity spreads like moss to trees in a swamp. That's how they make me feel but me, naaah why show it flash a smile tuck the disdain. Conceal the realist emotions emotionless on the surface. you said 'good day' to the pain. Try to do them a service that usually goes unnoticed, kinda hurts. Then I remembered when i tucked my feelings I also tucked my worth. So no need to feel worthless plucked a happy memory in contrast with a sad 1. Just stay grounded that's why its compounded when your down, and I don't know how to take going about shutting you out just yet. Unless I forget my courage at the door, your in store for a beauiful ending, or an ugly beginning. I'm trying to defend actions that haven't occurred and the suspense I get from the potential events got me spazzing out on the low. Blowing up, getting up, shifting to a rougher state of mind...



^

^

^

Just went IN for no reason at all. Don't know what to make of that, maybe if it wasn't so 'confusing' more people might get it.



*shrugs*



Where were we? I'm lost... The Mexican is on and all I can think about are the physical appearances of Brad Pitt and Julia Roberts.. Weird I know. Its just he looks so weird in this movie, and she looks so beautiful. I mean, damn look at this chick's eyes!



About to OD on some cinnamon/sugar toast. That's my ish right there! Super hungry still for those that saw the tweets. Time to wrap it up I can't focus anymore I'm 5000.



Gone!



_ _
 -/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

DO I MAKE SENSE YET!?

Or am I just... Senseless?