Its semi-early here, and I have an apt full of unpacked items.
Eyes are burning from sleep deprivation(I told ya'll insomnia
aint nothing to f*ck with!) as I sit amongst all of my prized
belongings. Getting real nostalgic, but that's ok memories are
great tools of inspiration...
Yeah I'm clean, and clear headed. I'm not going to front on the
feeling, its great. Especially considering that I hit rock bottom
in my life about a week ago. Homeless, addictions, and the depressing
realization that I couldn't take care of the (other)girl that got me
(and Ivan.. What's good homie) through the year. Once again music was
my escape. Shout out to my fav. Rapper (I mean musician)
Charles Hamilton. Dude kept me alive with his music, so I'm forever
grateful for his passion, and handling of that which is so dear to me..
Thank you music. I don't want people to get things wrong and
misconstrue what's being said. I had people to talk to, but
at the end of the day, I was alone. I had to climb various hurdles by myself.
"I sold my soul to myself, I'm so alone" Charles Hamilton
It's deeper than ACTUAL human interaction. The point is, sitting here
in this living room, I feel great(covered in dirt... It was a deep hole I
had to climb out of) and ready to approach what's coming NEXT. 4 days and
counting down to my reunion with California sunshine.(I know what YOUR thinking
LnF.. and then again, maybe I don't.. But its intentional) Don't really
know what I'm going to do first, but then again, does it really f***** matter?
I'M GOING HOME!!!!
I'm contemplating stepping up and being the bigger person(again) in order to
salvage some relationships that were real tight knit at one point, but
as of right now? Naaaah! (No shots, just a lot of OTHER important things on
my mind) Fam 1st/Born leaders/foreign tongues reunion! Can't wait, but
there's some cracks in our armor that I'm determined to fix up when I
touch down. mmmmhhh home cooked meals.. *eyes closed with a koo-laid smile*
And like I said I'm clean. Its quiet!!
I don't care WHAT you think about this, just THAT you THINK
About all this. I wasn't lying, I want to connect with ya'll,
and I'm not at all ashamed to do that. (even if it means revealing
some secrets of my life along the way.) This blog is going to pop before
it's all said and done, but I need ya'll help! Or not,
whatever. I love this sh*t and I'm going to do it regardless!
Are YA'LL going to be along for the ride? (I hope so lol) Gone!