Son's a Bum

Here we go more of the lies...

I was/am getting ready to just get gone. I've grown far too exhausted trying to catch up to where I should already be. Thing is the things I wish not to be as well as the locations are all things I wished to see.

I'm just tired of the image you've given me. It's time for something new. <<--- ayo Charles sample those sentences for me. I don't really trust any1 else to do it.

I'm at a point where the notions of what I think are becoming reality to how I feel. Not cool at all, not healthy either. I've tried shaking this off in a variety of different ways. Some more successful than others, I guess they all worked from some1's perspective. Whatever... Today I did 1 of the healthier choices. Worked like a charm.

I'm an excellent painter, so I painted.

However, once I left my paints and decided it was time to let you in again I was embraced with disappointment. I guess none of the parties involved get it either because we are all saying the same thing. aka knot getting anywhere.

*yeah yeah purposeful ^*

Walking... More walking...

I'm taking it back to those walking days. Sometimes because I want to sometimes because I have to. My feet are getting their work in though. Sooooooooo don't be mean about it k? *cough* megherz *cough*

So yeah, the trip... I don't know. I feel like I just need to go, and apart of me is ready to do just that. There's still too much holding me back at the moment so I'm chilling. Fact's are as stated: I don't feel good about MY own positioning in life at the moment. I do not feel good about the people AROUND me in my life. I don't feel good about the reciprocation of an emotional equal who at the moment is also absent. yeah that deep. I feel isolated most all of the time. I've heard a lot of things that were meant to describe me and none of them were true. I'm not feeling good bout being misunderstood. I'm not feeling good sleeping from place to place while never feeling completely welcome.

There's more that's supposed to be left unsaid. I'll oblige this go round because while I'm currently feeling low I'm trying to get up..


I'm not feeling good about missing emails.. I know this goes against what I just said ^ but I don't know what happened to a good friend of mine and I want/NEED to see her if I can. So if the email timing of the universe is just off for all can you please let me know your good? paging Dr. Margot are we good?? I snapped today in my notebook, it's yours come get it!

People don't trust me, and I'm not tripping really I'm working on trusting myself. Just know I'm ready if need be to be OUT in a major way. Different city, state, and or country. I'm not playing around.

People should respect my words since it's obvious these looks have gotten me oh so far.

'your such a player you probably tell that to ALL the girls' yeah YOU got me.

*rolls eyes*



Try digging me cause I make you want to.. The night sky is something 'un' and 'ling' when there are no stars to snuggle in it. Odd looking and out of place.. Shout out to LC. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh LC....

























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 -/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Hi my name is...

Chris Wilson, or Turtle Lee to the few and fortunate.

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More important than that, is what they've become to be..


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 -/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

How do you start...

Something so hard your heart could burst?

Today was tough ^ word to the Charles Hamilton quote. I've been dealing with a lot of bs and I was appalled at what was 'acceptable' in my convo with my n*ggas over twitter. Debate really, but it never even got there so let me just chill on that.

The convo has me tight though. close-mindedness is so wack I don't care how you look at it or try to 'ok' it. I mean I'm used to being so blatantly on the opposing side of things that it really shouldn't bother me by now. My homie's in town apparently! Leave it to me to be away from my email like all day... errrggghh that's due once again to the 'debates' I was having.

I'm trying not to be too anything right now because people can be ignorant, and there is no need to get ignorant with them in this case. I say that because I want to call people names throw stuffs, and generally make some1 else feel frustrated like me right now. I'm going to opt to take it to the gym instead. That may be worse though, it might be best to just stay off the courts today.

Heard from Geanna lightweight today. That chick either has her nose WIDE open or is lacking serious time... Either way if I get stuck to thinking about why we haven't talked it'll be counterproductive to this mood I'm trying to avoid going into... Maybe I am as socially awkward as I've always said and THAT's the reason I'm more or less alone contemplating these things..

I'm not going there. I just want to have a great great evening. If all goes well I don't see why that would't be possible. I'm doing some major major cleaning. How's this for honesty though, all I really want to do is sit here with this music and get lifted with it. I won't do that, but it'd be nice.

I may not speak another word today I'm feeling that frustrated with people.

Jean Grae and Charles Hamilton I road hard for you 2 today. All in the name of good music, f*ck what they talking about.



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I actually like going to places like this to chill downtown Sacramento knows me lol. We only getting more familiar. Imagine that.












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That list is coming! Especially after today. Smh

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Residual Self-Image

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They trying to take me from these beautiful things but f*ck that it's not happening. I'm writing today all day, some might end up here most of it will end up in a special inbox (Margot you ready?). Feeling lonely amongst the crowd...
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 -/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Trapped In.

Mommy on my mind lol





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Not Mommy but a mommy nonetheless. Good morning!

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 -/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Nas In QB

Nas is that dude.





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 -/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Internet Woes

I do not like when my internet fails me. It's probably 1 of the single most frustrating things ever! Mainly because I have no idea how to fix the problem. Every download would clock out at 1% leaving me absolutely clueless. I DID get smarter than the average bear and hook it up directly to the router but now I'm stuck for the sake of my downloads.

Not very cool. I'm exhausted still I feel like I'm in for 1 major crash in the next day or 2. I WILL experience that crash in a comfortable bed. I've been sleeping on couches and floors for the last week and it's starting to get to me. Not that I really care about having to do that more so because I can't sleep in a bed if I wanted to right now. Availability issues..

Margot can I shout you out? Your commentary is hilarious as well as needed wait til' I get my phone back rocking its on!

I do wonder though... Where are a few of you at?? What are you doing? I'm not worried about the lack of communication cause well you know, I'm bumming it right now. Speaking of which, I'm trying to NOT bum it with the appearance (I should post a picture or something..) but it's been tough! To grow or not to grow?

Margot you would have a field day. Right now, I could care less I'm like a blank canvass to a painter if that makes any sense.. I'm switching it up real soon.

Wow my stomach is trying to kill me. Time to eat.


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 -/Rebel2Society\-v(**)