Liking to listen

I refuse to believe this is a 1st for me and this artist. I blame blogger.

Searching for something. Don't exactly know what it is, though it definitely is buried in sound.Similarities, differences. It doesn't matter, from a perspective I'm doing 1 without the other and vice versa. Vantage points are areas of interest.

9th wonder. I'll start with you. Your soulful/dusty sound is 1 I've long since loved growing up/into hip hop. 1 I'm sure requires mature ears. Ears I didn't have 3 years ago. Your catalog is amazing. Rivaled only by a few.


9th Wonder's catalog is the goal. My eyes have been opened, the evil has to go. Or at least be understood.



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*Peace and Understanding*


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*Track 03*

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No tracks on me, Just ink.









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-/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Pinking

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*Miss I could offer you a kiss but, everything can get so twisted up**










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-/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Like I don't try.

She says she's leaving again, well that's nothing new. Make sure to tell your friend this one's done I'm too fucking rude. Pops reminiscing, you know how many oppotunities I blew? He does, again, nothing new. I'm cuffing who ever's down too cuddle, well on 2nd thought I'm selling dreams JUST to burst bubbles. If I can't be happy f*ck you gonna be? Not with me for certain only thing I believe: There's no fantasies unless your smoking weed, doing E poppin 3's you might see some sh*t. I'm drifting away from everything, I might need a lift. No car to call my own and no1 calls my phone. Entertainment is what I make it usually indefinitely makeshift.So why the f*ck would I say it stop rubbing the years in my face... Notice the rhyme scheme? See I HAVE withdrawal I just think exercising shouldn't be part of the clause. Filtering so much it's crazy, after the fact I said I wouldn't I must've really cared about the lady. Still no tears, and with as much as I've been on the memories will soon be fading, but deadass who's hating? What a wack card to try and pull, you pulled it and I was astonished said 'f*ck it' I'll play the fool. So I hate you too, forever and ever more No f*cking names mentioned what am I being subliminal for? Its a critical sore that I'm not feeling anymore. Tried to let it scab over of course that didn't work, every new wound or scratch reminded me I waS HURT then I didn't some JERKsh1t unearthed what I felt was THE purpose execution less than perfect, but GOD it was all worth it. I see there was supposed to be a party tonight, ohh that makes sense, hit me and try to make it right. Then we can ACT like it's alright like we didn't just get done with a fight that lasted throughout the entire car ride. I'm bout to glide on these snitches. Oh there's that word.. What the hell everything can't be stopped by a censor. They say b1tch on tv now? Word? I never knew. I knew a couple in my day but none like you. Leave it at that before my tires get slashed, sh1t I might really need to pack. People in LA say 'come we got some ill sh1t' my New York click warns me 'just be legit' That's east or west, might even do Texas, F it I'll do what, I want you hit the exit. Life is Tetris, and I have a death wish. Truth is too many acted clueless now I'm really bout to do this. F it. Like I said I'm just down to get the best fit taking motivation from the messages I'm checking. Got you, you, and you. You know I'm lying barely half of what I say is true I'm excluded by noise secluded like toys. Letting my fingers and thumbs dictate my voice. You know growing up teachers always said I spoke through my words and now here I am trying to make them all work together. I'm forever pulling the wrong levers but I thought we were on the same level now communications severed. Why? Somebody had to try, feelings had to die, just like me inside. I'm gonna go bi, I really don't like sex. Or dudes either, it's a complex concept. Gonna go buy a net to catch my thoughts when I'm high. When I'm high it's such an incredible ride. Get an edible tie and let her figure out what to do with it. Honestly so many things been getting at me. I'm scared to even write it with all these 'new' blog sightings let's just say there's plenty keeping me away from commitment. After being OD committed with crazy doubts my position shifted into a gear I wasn't comfortable with I like to be neutral but resisting proved futile. Goodbye love, it was something else indeed. I'm in need of some1 who gets me, not just wants me because they grew to love me. Keep it real with yourself the last 2 years been ugly. How's that for a time stamp? I'm trying to be a man I keep fighting the realizations I come across but I can't just ignore them. *hey, your dumb! Your dumb!* I'm shaking my head like I feel it but I don't I've been numb. bout to get something to cut maybe then I'll give a f*ck.







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The definition of 'sucks'





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-/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Touchdown

People are back in town I'm ready to do drugs, lets get up.



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-/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

I'm such a f*cking liar

Kinda Cool

To be more attracted to some1 4 years after you met them and well... heh Definitely dope.


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Little over a month ago but your right I think your ugly, and a bunch of other hurtful things. It is what it is, if I said I wasn't used to it I'd be lying. This just 1 of many examples since atraction was called into play. People stop f*cking with me. Especially when you sound ignorant I've been me so acting as if this is something new just makes you sound even more wack.

As I stated too many times. People read this sh1t and take what they want from it. I'm not going to censor my mind cause people are quick to catch feelings and leave. People are quick to catch feelings and get disappointed resulting in them leaving. People leave is the point. Ya'll won't be the 1st or the last. I've dealt with this long enough and I'm no longer causing my tongue to bleed on your behalf.


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-/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

The list

1st off, motherf*ck RIM. That's all.


1-)Well This isn't Awkward

10 Things I Hate About Me

335

808's And Heartbreaks

Al Boo Boo

American Gangsta: Who is Charles Hamilton?

American Gangsta V2.0 Where Is Charles Hamilton

American Gangster

Apollo Kids

Aquemini

Asleep In The Bread Aisle (Lark on my go-Kart, I love college)

At Most I'm Just...

Atlantis And A... ('08, '09,'10)

ATLiens

Attention Deficit

Ayo! These Niggaz Went Hollywood

Back Like Cooked Crack 2

Back To The Future, Back to The Haze

Bastard

Be

Below The HEavens

Bitch Mob Respect Da Bitch Vol. 1


Black Star

Blueprint 2 The Gift And The curse cd1&2

Bonus And Unreleased Vol.2

Brooklynati

By All Means Necessary

CH Songs (change title)

Charles Hamilt-ENDS (group)

Charles Hamilton Random Iphone Music (Group)

Charles Hamilton's Attempts at "Swag"

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

College Dropout

Come Home With Me (Oh Boy, Come Home With Me ft. Juelz San, Welcome to NYC, Hey MA)

Confessions (Special Ed Remove Ipod)

Continum (REmove Ipod)

Corpse House

Covert Coup

Crime Pays

Da Drought 3

Da U.S. Open

Death is Silent

Death of a Pop star

Dedication 2

Despicable Me (despicable me)

Detroit Deli (A Taste of Destroit)

Diplomatic Immunity 1&2

Distant Relatives

DJ Skee Presents: And Then They Played Dilla...

DJ Skee PresentsL Crash Landed

DJ Skee Presents: Death of The Mixtape Rapper

DJ Skee Presents: It's Charles Hamilton

DJ Skee Presents: Sonic The Hamilton

DJ Skee Presents: Staff Development

DJ Skee Presents: The L Word

Doctor's Advocate

Doe or Die

Doggystyle

Donuts

Dope2Go

Elmatic

Encore

Enemy of The State: A Love Story

Every Charles Hamilton Ex-Girlfriend's Worse Nightmare

Fear of God

Finding Forever

First Order of Business Side A&B

Flashback Vol. 1 Back to the Future

(For you locker)

Gaughos

Get Rich Or Die Trying

Goblin

God's Son

Graduation

Grow Wing Pains

Gunz N BUtta

Gutter Rainbows

Gynophobia

Hamiltonstrumentals

HerFavoriteColo(u)r

Hip Hop Is Dead

Hi-Teknology 2: The chip

Hot Sauce Committee Part 2

How I Got Over

I Am

I Am Not A Human Being

I F*cking Hate Rappers

Idlewild

Illmati

In My Lifetime. Vol. 1

In The Jaws Of The Lords of Death

Infinite

Intervention

... is a bi-polar rabbit

It Takes a Nation of Millions to hold us back

It Was Written

It Was WrittN

January Rush/No Competition

Jeanius

Jesus LP

Johnson & Jonson

KIDS

Kingdom Come

Kush & OJ

Lasers

Late Registration

LAX

Liberation

Like Water For Chocolate

Liquid Swords

Lupe Fiasco's Food & Liquor

Lupe the Jedi

Man On the Moon II: The End of Day

Mania!

Mic Check (L Word3)

Moonlighting

My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy

My Brain is Alive

My Heart

Nastradamus

NHF

No Competition

No Genre

Normalcy

Nostalgia, ultra

Nothing (Deluxe Edition)

Odd future Tape

One.

Only Built 4 Cuban Linx


Outside Looking

Overnups

O(verly) D(edictaed)

Paid in full:Deluxe Editiion

Pink Friday

PirateRadio

Pretty Boy Millionares (Birth of Rap)

Reasonable Doubt

Recovery/(Deluxe Edition)

Reflection Eternal

reInstrumentals

ReIntervention

Relapse

Relapse Refill

Resurrection

Return Of 4Eva

Revolutions Per Minute

Ronald Dregan Dreagnomics

Ruff Mixes (Everybody)

School Was My Hustle

SD2

Segahamilton.blogspot.com

Shut Up Already!!!

Sir Lucious Left Foot The Son Of Chico Dusty

Slaughterhouse

Slim Shady LP

Slum Village (Retail)

Snap Crackle Pop

So Far Gone

Songs About Jane (Remove ipod)

Songs In A Minor (Remove ipod)

Speakerboxxxx The Love Below 2CD

Spelling Bee

Starchaser Radio

Sth2: HD (The Scroll of Beethoven and Machiavielli)

Stillmatic

Street's Disciple

Strictly For Snapping

Sunshowers

Supreme Clientele

Tafietu

Teflon Don

Tha Carter II

Tha Carter III

Thank Me Later

The Adventure of Bobby Ray

The Binge Vol.1 Staring At the lavalamp

The Binge vol.3 :Charles Hamilton's Last Mixtape

The Black Album

The Blue Lavalamp (M/A/T/E: Mirrors Are The Enemy)

The Blueprint

The blueprint 3

The Bonus & Unreleased: Freestyle Edition

The Bonus & Unreleased Vol.1

The Bootleg Of The bootleg EP

The Carter

The Charles Hamilton Project

The Chronic

The Come Up Mixtape Vol.1

The Cool

The darkside Volume 1

The Dead Zone

The Dena Tape

The dynasty - Roc La Familia

The Ecstatic

The Eminm Show

The Essential Michael Jackson

The Evil Jeanius

The Family Sign

The Fix

TheGenie of the Lamp

The Good Sun

Thge Great Adventures of Slick Rick

The greatest story never Told

The Hardest Mixtape EVER muthafcuker

The Hunger For More 2

The L Word II: Lust and Love (INcomplete)

The Lady killer

The Lavalamp Zone

The listening

The lost Tapes (retail)

The Marshall Mathers LP

The Minstrel Show

The miseducation of Lauryn Hill

The Piece Talks

The Pink Lavalamp

The Power of Illumination

The Return of the magnificent

The Slaughterhouse EP

The Soul Tape

The Warm Up

TheGODleeBarnes(lp)

This Perfect Life

Tical

Time Is Money

Touch The sky Mixtape

TrunkMuzik 0-60

TUFLI Tuesdays

Universal Mind Cntrol

Unkut.com

Untitled

Vol2 Hard Knock Life

Vol.2 Dream Marchant

Vol 3 Life And Times OF S Carter

Vol.4 Escape From Harlem

W. A.R. (We Are REegades)

Well Isn't This Awkward...

What The F*ck Is a Jay Electronica

What Life Gives You Lemons, You paint that shit Gold

Where Is Charles Hamilton?

WICH

Wu Massacre

Zero Heroes

Yellow/White

You've Got Mail










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-/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Interesting Message

I'm doing my morning thing, and I see I have an interesting message on facebook. "Read your blog. Just thought you should know"

Hmmmm

Well thanks now I know. I can't decide whether to feel slighted, or ashamed, but I'm a quick decision maker and it can't be the latter. It just can't, sometimes it has to be f*ck how you all feel, cause your taking a random moment on a random day to check this, I'm literally talking myself through some stuff. I guess that's why there were apologies noted on the same place you found reason to need to be apologized to in the 1st place.

I'm not perfect, but I certainly own up to my mistakes. Maybe ya'll should try doing that as a friend to me for once? Just a thought... I know I'm not the only 1 that's been f*cking up in a 'relationship' and now being out of that hey you get what you get. I'm an *sshole with feelings that usually go unnoticed.

Even people I've made a point to spend more time with don't come to the realizations or ask the questions I would expect. So yes, I'm going to be that way until I can find some1 in deep within the reality that is real everyday life to help me. I'm LOOKING so hard, and that's why I've found nothing.

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Sorry for the display of disrespect and animosity. I just ask we start looking at the 'what could/did I do to make this situation worse?'

Cool I'm on my zonin type sh1t today. Gotta get it in early, and since it's most definitely a solo thing (People don't keep the hours I keep unless they live in London or the East coast. Even then it's a stretch) I can feel myself being exhausted, I have a lot of heavy questions weighing on me.

I've become quite the talkative body on Twitter and Facebook. Well he has I've been observing. Obviously to compensate for something I don't have.

Death is certain, death is silent, and at times can arrive through violence.
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Still learning how to deal with death while maintaining a distant fascination of the unknown.

Last night was probably the worst feeling I've felt... all I could think about were things like this:

Up late fatigued in my face and it shows we closed that book all of a sudden I have feelings in droves couldn't do a thing about em decided to watch our old shows, Like am I suppose to just ignore those? Hard to laugh, tried to think back on what would make you crack, burst into laughter, but with each outburst a pitiful pain would come after. Man f*ck this new chapter...


Over and over and over and over and over! Never wrote a thing still haven't (until that right there, which was honestly more like closing my eyes and recapping). Being alone is giving me the confidence to speak to myself though. Literally. See I'm quite angry, very bitter. I don't know why yet but I know that my attitude is on FULL on display, and I don't give a f*ck. I'm a big *ss baby I've heard it enough, but I've also always tried to hold my tongue. What for though?

I'm not trying to offend anybody I just want to know what I'm feeling. Do you understand that's what the blog helps me do?? I've kept up with EVERY1's sh1t lol funny I don't pop up here or there or feel some kind of way when ya'll get disrespectful, human nature I know, so it is what it is.

Although I do wish some of you would have the guts to say some of your 'thoughts' to me, it's still all good not even an issue.

Before I get into the musical spiel, let me say Charles Hamilton is nothing like Talib Kweli. Won't go into it, just leave it at that.

Yesterday I kinda got into the 'evils' of the music we listen to. YES EVIL! When you hear me speaking on this type of stuff don't think for a second I'm standing over 'there' talking about what's going on 'here'. I'm involved because I love this sh1t. I talk about it because I love this sh1t. Think about this, I love movies, I mess with ALL kinds of movies. Music's no different, I just take it more seriously, and it should be taken that way it's too powerful of a tool to just ignore the pull it has.


I asked some friends what they thought about Kanye's transformation as an artist from College Dropout to now. I didn't get very far though, the answers were too vague and didn't really speak to any general aspects that he may have transformed from and/or into. ie. flow, delivery, lyrics, beats, etc. So while I received absolutely nothing I was looking for I discovered part of what I already knew. Girls don't really listen to music like that. If they do clap for yourself and them, your the minority in a major way. Yet, girls buy the music... See the issue there?

I just get baffled when people are ignorant as to what it is they are consuming. Who goes and gets a random dish of food without knowing WHAT it is, but knowing that it IS a combination of a bunch of different unhealthy foods???

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Sounds ridiculous right?

Anyway the darkness of the music right now is killing me. Random lines thrown into lyrics with no explanation... "oh it'll be a beautiful death. Jumping out the windoww..." Kanye Power.
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It's the easiest 1 to pick right now. Let me ask why you would want thousands of people at a time singing this in unity? That's some cult sh1t in my opinion. The more interesting fact about it is people DON'T realize that they are singing such a morbid action out. Leads me to believe that the powerful backdrop is a means to confuse and or disorient.

There's so much more... you got Jay-Z's "and Jesus can't save you, life starts when the church ends.." Like really? Guess what else is interesting. I listen to this stuff, my spirituality is admittedly no where near the level it used to be. That could be a direct result of a bunch of things.. Just saying stuff like that is EVERYWHERE in today's music, and people are so dumb they don't pay attention, they just consume.

SMH

I'm still looking for THAT convo. Yo Jess, you are amazing with that, the more I'm talking about it the more I realize you were basically on point with it. WTF was wrong with me. I mean sure we disagreed and I still believe most of your disagreements are based in stupid person bias' (like most all things we disagreed on. Check.) but, at least you had information backing things up. Well, more than what I've come across lately. Quotes, breakdowns. Your ill with it.

Now to curb these negative feelings.

*Half past sleepy time*

But it's 8AM. Today may be a long 1, I want to nap so I can at least enjoy this high. I'm learning a lot from some of the more aware socially conscious programming around believe it or not.


"alcohol and drugs are used to cope with trauma, and the feeling of isolation" Don't even want to say where I got that 1.

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Just had a brilliant idea though.. Get some. Rummage through the alcohol at my parents' house

Get high, Zoloft Woodstock, get through the day. I need to make phone calls and I'm doing that thing where I sit while letting my thoughts paralyze me. Too much work to do.


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-/Rebel2Society\-v(**)