Changing. "Next time..."

Things are quickly learning to sprout different outcomes then they would have a year ago. Cool, who's REALLY down for change? So many people talk about things but how much are you actually willing to change yo? It'll all start with a picture (or 2 or 4 or 6 maybe more..)

After multiple attempts of sharing what I've learned; the people I deal with currently aren't the most suited for that. It's no knock on them, just me realizing everything isn't for everybody. Cool, (as stated above)I'll learn to change instead. Not sure if changing yourself to better deal with others is the route to take but it's 'cool'.

No more unstructured stream of consciousness entries from me. Of course, due to previous failed attempts. Those will be mine, or whoever I choose to randomly 'share' with (don't hold your f*cking breath). No this will be very precise well thought out 'safe' thoughts from now on. Basically it'll be the FAKE you deal with on a day to day basis. Sorry.

I guess that would make it... Chris' blog again... Ironic.

I can't be mad at that though, people are still mad from the last time I decided to pop E on this b1tch. Speaking of popping, the reason I'm able to say it's okay for MY SPACE to no longer hold MY TRUE THOUGHTS is because soon I'll be able to share them the way they were intended to be.

No longer bogged down by insecurities or a lack of faith in the subject listener. That side of me really is something... So this is kind of an ode. Or a prelude to an ode to new friends. I'm sure to be making plenty in the near future, and I know there's a neat little change that's taking place in the last few days. Sadly, it's 1 that shouldn't have ever mattered, but now will have to define 'me'. It's going to be fun. Oh and I'll be OD drugged up.


*Got clean to get mean*


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And now I can quote myself more. Lol I should have listened a long time ago.

Admittedly, these aren't nearly as fun or revealing, but that's what every1 called for...


-shrugs


*Try to seem believable, but face it you don't trust my truth's*


Here go!


"Next time some sh1t is on my mind, it'll stay there!" Joe Budden


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Something's missing... smh


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Yoooo

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Here we go again. Crazy...








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People are liars.

Darkness always comes to the light, nothing else needs to be said.








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Happy Birthday

I definitely should have posted this earlier but Happy Bday X. 5/26/11 It's yours my dude! Sorry I couldn't be doing whatever it was you were doing, kinda got caught up with some other things that ultimately weren't very fulfilling. I know you understand... I Hope you do, I think you do, have faith that you do,, but ultimately Hope is where I'll leave it. Your a good dude man, a real positive spirit. I love you, and I want to thank you for grabbing a hold of me. You came back into my life when there was more or less nobody else, and we were always close like family so it just seemed natural that we should be that way again. I'm telling you, typing it out and saying it sounds crazy, cause your probably like n1gga what is your n1ggas for? I hear you, but it's been a crazy 2 years. I can't complain I'm breathing I'm learning, I'm living. It was tough though dead*ss. Know you always got a brother/friend/ whatever you need in me man. I really can't express how much I appreciate you accepting me regardless of who I was in front of you. No1 has really done that before when it puts them in awkward situations. You and her, and my parents lol Damn... Just thanks man. Your a unique spirit I'm happy to know you. Stay safe, you getting older now dog gotta leave that wildin out for the youngins. I know it's get money and your seed's on the way but that's WHY you gotta leave it alone. I don't even know.. I'm good. Your good. Thank you.





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Darkskinned Condition. Lightskin Mentions.

Yet another bullet in my recent stance AGAINST Beyonce. Nothing new, just thought I'd relay that there are other issues I have besides her rehashed recycled songs and declining social message AS SHE GET'S OLDER no less.. smh It's not just Beyonce though. Nicki Minaj get's no more burn from me until she gets with it. You sold your records dumb ignorant girls everywhere are behind you. Speak to THEM not the perverts (like me) who enjoy seeing you in next to nothing for a cheap thrill. The message that's being sent out is just disgracing, and I mean that sincerely. I look around I see young adult women lost, and even more young ladies lost. Notice this has NOTHING to do with race. I just can't fathom let alone respect an artist with so much power not using it to spread positivity. In this case girls WILL be running to the dance floor to break off the next guy instead of hating on each other and being catty.. which may or may not result in a fight breaking out anyway. Sorry if I don't sound like I think very highly of females at the moment. It's not fair to generalize but I TRY, and what I'm getting back is very disheartening. Word to the Oxygen channel.

Dark Girls: Preview from Bradinn French on Vimeo.

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Now this. I have to say this first and foremost; most of these dark skinned women they are talking to don't meet what I would deem as attractive. That's just the reality of it from my perspective, which leads me to wonder are their problems due to THAT, or the color complexion of their skin. I'd say the former, just off of the short clip I watched. I call a spade a spade, it's something that has gotten me into some sticky situations but I stand by that. These women just aren't VERY attractive at all. Not all of them by any means, because I see some in there that are very attractive. Some 'just saying' type sh1t.

Now I do agree with what they are relaying to the viewer. It's downright ridiculous in most cases the amount of self awareness that goes into trying NOT to be another darkskin chick. I know 1 beautiful little lady (Little as in stature not age) who doesn't always have the nicest things to say about darkskinned individuals despite being 'black' herself. Not a diss, just a silent observation that coincides with the commentary some of these women were speaking to. I know too many people that share these setiments. Don't get me started on the dudes. It's just crazy to me, no other way to say it or describe it. I've ALWAYS thought girls were the best thing walking, and thus, have found myself enamored by them. They have things I don't, makes sense.

I can't sit here and act as if there are never negative things that put me off women altogether though. For starters, the lack of unity always on full display is somewhat embarrassing. No I'll say it, it's downright embarrassing. Counterproductive. What I find intriguing about this is females usually aspire to be like some1 they see. Some1 visible, a la Beyonce, Nicki Minaj. So yes it irritates me when Women especially black women aspire to be something for reasons they can't explain. It all comes full circle to the question: WHY?

'Because that's what's hot' 'Because that's what guys like' These are 2 answers I'm done hearing. Basically my respect for you has to deminish when you say things like this to me with a straight face. Why do you give a f*ck what anybody else feels or thinks that isn't you? I suppose that's the question. When did THAT acceptance become THE acceptance, and why did they allow room for the rare 'exception'?

I'm honestly getting a little more heated as I type, because I know no 1 willing to stand up for what they believe in. Too much unnecessary thinking goes into it. If your thinking about things you don't need to be, then your not focusing on what you NEED TO BE!


I do have more to say, but a different format in which I can say it is needed.





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Respect Given.

Any1 willing to sacrifice in order to make changes that are influenced by personal beliefs has my respect. Especially in the music industry. Word to Nah Right, I didn't consider this magnitude of change for him, but I'm interested in what's next.

Malice of The Clipse: The Big Picture from Ruby Hornet on Vimeo.

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My Hour.

I'm just sick of the ignorance.





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It's not like the radio stations gonna spread it. Then again, it's not like any of ya'll gon play it. Even then you won't pay attention to the words that he's saying. At least J.Cole laced it another win for the musicians.







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