Now it's this, blame.. Yup, I do.


Friday, June 18, 2010

(old) Down

“tougher than the flesh, can’t nobody fuck with him. Not even the government! The best…” Charles Hamilton

I’ve been overthinking like CRAZY! Like sh*t that doesn’t deserve my (thought) process is getting the business. Definitely something to deal with, I just wish more people were available for me to bother. Talking to people that don’t really want to be bothered isn’t fun. I know because people do it to me all the time lol

I was definitely disregarding this little bit of info today though. With these new potential job opportunities I won’t really have a choice in order to be successful. Which is fine, comfort is something I’m trying to move away from.

I don’t want to be the bugaboy though, and I always seem to end up feeling that way. I saw my ladies today so that was cool. Char and Megherz were in the back getting it IN with their trainer. Lol I wasn’t joking either M to G’erz, your jump roping form is better than mines lol

I had Marley with me again, we are quite the team I must say. I know I found us a new spot where she can run around until she can’t take anymore. I’m excited about it cause it’s a wifi hotspot of sorts. Which meeeeeeaaaaaannnnnnsssss I can take all of you with me too!

I’ve been writing so much lately, well I guess since I said (on here) that I couldn’t really write anything as of late. That post had something I wrote in it, and it’s been coming or I’ve been forcing it. A little of both I’m sure, but I don’t care what the reasons, I’m just happy to be 1 with the page again… Sort of..

I’m happy to let go with my emotions. I wish there was some1 other than me to sit down and go through it with though. I’m actually very accustomed to it. Something tells me what I’m dealing with is going to make it very difficult to open up for any1 else anytime soon.

I want to open up to every1 I meet. Not the pointless random conversations I have with some of you. Although I DO enjoy those, but I want to be able to lean my head on a shoulder and cry if need be. Like now, I feel like my head should be buried in some1’s heartbeat.

I bet you all will still be greeted with a smile though. That’s frustrating… I feel like when I’m not that person something is wrong. Well something IS wrong, yet no1 shares my 6th sense for these matters. It has to be that, or they just don’t care.

I’m gearing up for the ‘vulnerable summer’, like I see the bottom approaching and I’m trying to save my face from getting anymore scarred up. Truthfully I’m just scared to leave scarred up, I have too many. What’s the problem with that? Little things becoming more problematic sticking to me like lent on static.

Look at me acting like I can tell the future.. Naah, but I read well. Literally, figuratively, most definitely emotionally.

Geanna do more. Please.

Indefinable, I know but I’m ready now.. Internet is no good now. Seems to be on some real vindictive sh*t as of late. Why me though??

I miss you all. I want you ALL to meet me again.


_ _

No comments:

Post a Comment


Or am I just... Senseless?