Seems like every week I get the feeling of wanting to not express how I normally would. I know my intentions when I do express myself and it only serves to dishearten me when they are used against me. I know you've all accounted for me saying I'm in no way an easy person to deal with or have a relationship with. I don't care what that relationship is, I'm difficult and I know it.
I suppose knowing why is more important, but I know the reason behind that too. I'm not a f*cking mystery, I have a big heart and struggle with how I use it.
Right or wrong? I would say my mouth clouds the intentions of my heart. All this is irrelevant, because it all means I'm feeling. That's more than I can say for the average human beings I've come across in the last year. I have to stop for a second here, some of ya'll were just down right mean people. Dead*ss man, people are growing more malicious by the day it seems, and if spite isn't the driving force behind their actions some other selfish motive is.
What's so wrong with wanting to be the best you can be for every1 in your life? Nothing, but therein lies the problem. If your going to live that way (or try to) you better damn well be able to back it up.
How the f*ck do you back that up? a Godsend spoke to me and put me up on more than a few things I never really got around to thinking about. Guess I needed divine perspectives. I was told that in any situation your going to have some1 that feels SOMETHING! Not in those words, but some1 will have feelings that don't add up with what your trying to put out into the world.
SOME1 WILL HAVE FEELINGS THAT DON'T MATCH UP WITH THE ENERGY YOU INTEND TO PUT OUT INTO THE WORLD!
Sorry for the caps, but I'm not going to be doing much more typing/talking/explaining, and that right there is what we call a 'message'.
You should already know what I'll revert to, though I DID say it'd be different this time around. I intend to keep my word. Rubin's ready anyway.
Out for the day possibly carrying on into the night and early morning. I will be in touch.
*peace and understanding* -hums, -nods