High Healthcare

I'm about to go bananas. I'm not crazy, but if the events of last night aren't cleared up I'm giving up my sanity card. Straight up and dead*ss. My leg was swollen balloon like, and my foot was twisted and burning with pain. My knee hurt like sh1t too but became numb very quickly while the remaining pain jolted through my inner thigh and groin area. I'm not crazy. I know what I felt and I know what I saw.

"I know what I saw..."

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Followed by "your crazy" as her response. Damn.

I know what the f*ck I saw... Doctor's are no longer trustworthy. Or I really do have HPD... They knew what was up in the Emergency room. Sh1t I told them. Whether or not that had anything to do with the results of my examinations I have no clue.

Gonna shower and think about what I feel I should be thinking about. A little sore so at least there's that comfort. Had to doc this though. May be the turn of something else...












~In other words, *I be wildin cause I'm young* it was a crazy night though~



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-/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

More from my favorite site in the world

This is too interesting to me..



The English alphabet, as you likely know, is made up of 26 letters.

But it wasn’t always that way.

Before we get to which letters were late additions, let’s explain a bit about Old English. English was first written in the Anglo-Saxon futhorc runic alphabet, also known as Anglo-Saxon. The Angles and Saxons came from Germany and settled in Britain in the fifth century. The region they inhabited became known as “Angle-land,” or “England.”

Eventually, Christian missionaries introduced the Latin alphabet, which ultimately replaced Anglo-Saxon. But for some time, the alphabet included the letters of the Latin alphabet, some symbols (like the ampersand), and some letters of Old English.

As Modern English evolved, the Old English letters were dropped or replaced.

(Our trusty alphabet isn’t the only part of language that has changed — October used to be the eighth month, and September the seventh. What happened? Find out here.)

Here’s an example: In Old English, a letter called “thorn” represented the “th” sound (as in “that”) in Modern English. In the Latin alphabet, the “y” was the symbol that most closely resembled the character that represented thorn. So, thorn was dropped and “y” took its place. (But is “y” a vowel or a consonant? We explore the dilemma here.)

That is why the word “ye,” as in “Ye Olde Booke Shoppe,” is an archaic spelling of “the.”

The Old English letter “wynn” was replaced by “uu,” which eventually developed into the modern w. (It really is a double u.)

The letters “u” and “j” didn’t join what we know as the alphabet until the sixteenth century.

Now consider ancient history influences days of the week. Who is the attractive goddess that Friday is named for? Here’s that odd and entertaining story.




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shouts to the hot word. Gotta get up on my linguistic historical facts.



~ill~





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-/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Such an ugly word

de·ceit·ful   
[dih-seet-fuhl] Show IPA
–adjective
1.
given to deceiving: A deceitful person cannot keep friends for long.
2.
intended to deceive; misleading; fraudulent: a deceitful action.




Origin:
1400–50; late ME; see deceit, -ful

—Related forms
de·ceit·ful·ly, adverb
de·ceit·ful·ness, noun
un·de·ceit·ful, adjective

—Synonyms
1. insincere, disingenuous, false, hollow, designing, tricky, wily. 2. illusory, fallacious.

—Antonyms
1. honest. 2. genuine.






... it's always the antonyms that get me.













~word (heh) I'm tight that my new Berry doesn't have the dictionary app. though! ERRRGGHH that was MY SH1T! I miss it, sadly, my vocabulary has suffered the brunt of the consequences. That'll change soon though, pay attention to the WORDS though lol kind of making a point while simultaneously throwing  another under my big *ss bus that likes to crush stuff (POW!).~





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-/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Star Void

don't believe or dream if need be. but I'm throwing my hands up to the void getting annoyed already in the sky feeling bigger than the guys who left me by the wayside. Guess it was oh well I see I spell whatever words come across my modern cross walk yeaaaaaaah. Having fun with it just to say
'yeah'
but listen none of these b1tches get it innnnn. not even make seeeeeeennnnnnnssseeee lol but since i'm more like the sh1t I'm so over confident in what you assholes won't get.


ok i got it. 922


dumb shit no longer fun if drama is all u deal with. Turns to numb shit. I know the feeling, I think a little too well. Yet I still look down at my two feet and my dog somewhere near to the left is always she and I'm left contemplating how I put myself in these positions constantly back to back wanting more than is there to begin with. I'm sickened with scripts from the census my love has been tough this might really be the end of us.

~this might really be the end of us though~










I don't remember this at ALL so #Uknow! Lol smh













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-/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Anonymous Love

"Your a really good an genuine dude. That can't be replaced. You just need to know your worth and value/take care of relationships of those who love you. I need you my nig so don't ever feel any different..."




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*peace and understanding*




Walls have been cracked. Let's get it.



Sometimes it takes a little climbing though, so we still working on all that. I'll say this though, I am extremely happy for what the future has in store, might take it back to the days when EVERYBODY got along. GF's and Girl friends included ~wishful thinking~ but hey I'm a dreamer.



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-/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

9ygi5g

.cyu. .guuifydt ohloih.



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 -/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

In a Word.

FLABBERGASTED.





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My angel

Michelle you are 1 of many angels God has sent to watch over me. The leader maybe. Regardless of your stature I feel closer to you than ever before. Thanks and I love you.



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 -/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Nothin but doubt.

So I've penned a letter to a very disputable parent. It is what it is (my favorite 'saying') I'm just saying I have a TON of emotions being put to page. Forgive me if my actions show that I don't care or my mouth gets outta control (ie SUPER reckless). Know it's coming from an emotional place, and it may actually be helping me to get it out the way I DECIDE to. Once again I'm finding myself on the outside looking into a relationship I've known too well for too long. I say the outside because I am constantly exiled, and apparently Chris is the n1gga she wants, but Chris hasn't been there for a minute so go figure. It used to be weird, but I'm okay with it now I guess.

What better time than now to say this; if your done with me be done. I'm about as forgiving as they come but I'm not into getting trampled on. Which is NOT to say I do nothing wrong, sh1t, I'm no good. I TOLD YOU THIS! *Flashes back to the Q&A sessions going unanswered and me too strung out to even care* Remember that... When you couldn't answer, I knew the answers and when you lied I knew why. But ah yes, by no means am I the saint *ain't*. Flawed as I am I know what it is I need or at least I tell myself I do. I also know what it is I don't need. If you haven't guessed by now I have an addictive personality, so keep it around me long enough and weeeeelll...... Good or bad it doesn't discriminate. Finding out what I needed gone and whatnot was half the battle. Now it's living with the decisions I'm making. I think I'll be okay but this has turned into a tangent once again. IF your not f*cking with me for whatever reasons it's not a negative thing. I will say I'm thankful for the times you WERE f*cking with me (heh). Plenty have up and disappeared some even right in front of me, so needing to get yourself away from the wreckage isn't a problem. As I said I remain thankful. However I can't put things on hold or in this case keep myself guessing when the next 1 will come around.

I appreciate the thoughts you all keep me in from time to time, mainly because it's nice to know others think about you the way you do them. Although I'm sure these mental interactions don't compare to the energy I'm putting out FOR you, I know it may be a step in the right direction. Honestly though? I just kind of laugh at a lot of you. I really struggle to think about what it is 1 might find appealing about me. So far the conclusion I've come across most is history. Well I certainly know history isn't repeating itself (Been there done that type sh1t) again. While trends may, I am not trendy so that lends even less possibility to the aforementioned.  (I love it when my free speech turns into something much more unintentionally)

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Funny to me when I am asked about my well-being. Some of you need to take a look in the mirror. DEADASS! I wonder if the truth were more grim than I cared to share albeit being shared in this case, would you still show support? Would you stick your nose up? I know a lot of you would, and that's cool I guess. Not my cup of tea, but neither is judging people for believing or acting out in situations I don't believe or agree with. Stop feeling some kind of way about people telling you about yourself. Look at it as a sign of admiration, I know IF I didn't give a sh*t about whatever I just wouldn't open my mouth to speak.  Now what's worse? (goes back to the whole 'being here to annoy you' thing a couple posts ago) It's like really? Just grow up, and if some1 saying grow the hell up or the f*ck up is 'too much' congratulations you have shut me up indefinitely. What the f*ck they put in these peoples' water nowadays anyway?

I have no clue what this was supposed to be continuing on from, I do know I've written a lot (cause I've been told I was too much of a sensitive little b1tch so yes, I like to WRITE my feelings out.) because I'm not feeling well emotionally. A little unbalanced meaning the 'good' is GREAT and the 'bad' is definitely worse than the antonym for GREAT. I'm dealing with it, and probably not in the best of ways, but right now I'm more concerned with OTHER people in my life. It sounds bad but I just don't care about my own well-being anymore. Not now anyway, you are all so much more important, I just need to channel enough energy to focus long enough to get my message as clean and digestible as possible for you. For a lot of people it's curtains.

There was a time where I just did not give a f*ck. What was in my head was shared when I pleased how I pleased and I'm happy to say I'm feeling like that's right around the corner again. Hopefully this time around I'll be able to better articulate myself when the time comes. Cause if there's 1 thing I hate, it's being mislabeled unfairly. Take time to know me then watch as I accept whatever criticism you throw my way. I feel like it should work both ways and my character exemplifies this. Though to hear 1 tell it I'm a monster in the worst kind of ways.

Ladies I love you, and I'm sorry to say I have disrespected a part of what it means to be a lady by placing my hands on you (more than once). Definitely the thing I'm least proud of in life and a source of unlimited guilt. Well, I know how I feel about it and I know many of you are ashamed of me as you should be. You know, through all this, all I've ever thought is how can 'THEY stand by ME when I'M like THIS?'

'THEY' not being specific to gender, just loved ones. Well loved ones I'm sorry. I'll make it right somehow and I love you for loving me endlessly. As for the 'dart throwers' the muzzle is coming off.

*Got some great news through the twitter grapevine*

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Anticipation indeed.


*oh and that list... drugs man.*
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 -/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Kiki reminded me (with love)...

Kiki reminded me why the list was ro be destroyed. Needing help and wanting it are 2 important themes of this Blog. Needing and wanting attention aren't. Flat out as that. The fact that you must be alerted before deciding to 'fuck' with the blog says a lot. No need to feel guilty it just is what it is. You go out of sight long enough and the rest will surely follow. Meaning I won't be on any1's mind. Quite honestly as much as it pains me to see that come true I wouldn't have it any other way. My door is f*cking down the street the same place its always been so no I don't worry about saying f*ck you to those that deserve it. Rest easy if you can't even touch me lol.


Honestly.... Tired of honesty. Or being entrapped in a perspective that lends no path to truth. Basically when we start drifting apart it is what it is. Its no longer problematic, I've clocked it down to a science. The amount of me that I have to give in order to stay 'relevant' in your minds isn't even necessarily possible from my end. That tells me get your flags out and let them match my hands. At least we'll both FEEL like we're on the same page, but take a closer look and its clear we are communicating different messages.


Kiki not at all upset or angry with you, I know the tone of my messages and this blog might suggest otherwise (sidenote: though often wrong you CAN assume the tone of a txt message). I just want those that should forget to forget and move on. You know "they say if you love it..." Type sh1t.
I am not looking for a brighter neon sign saying 'Look at me!'. Not at all, unless the act of watching/observing is something you have decided you want to do... Or need to do. Its whatever at this point. I say f*ck whoever because I know where its gone and I know where I've brought it back to. I'm so much better off then I was and that needs to start counting for something (to myself). So long to go but guess what? I can kind of see where I'm goin at the moment, couldn't say that 2 weeks ago.


Sorry if it seems grim, because it's coming from a place that houses the possibility of hope. Still kicking, hitting, and missing. Just not in your face. I expect this to be the last time many of you hear or read a clear direct response from me, and I dealt with how that felt before my thumbs got exercising. Know though it IS all love, and this isn't me turning my back as much as it is looking at the turned backs smh, and walking my own path (again).
Don't know what this will mean for all of us, I have my fingers crossed for a few and already mourned the relationships that died because of this stupid sh1t. I'm still holding on though. Is it still all love??




*I found the answer where selfishness cannot exist*

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So HONESTLY f*ck what happens to me.




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-/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

The leather couch

"Well if I wasn't here I could never annoy you with my blah blah blah, would you rather that be the case? Think about it..." That's an old quote from Chris said frequently to those who felt his presence was 'annoying' at times.

Interesting way to think about it, and I think maybe the correct way for all to think about loved 1's. We take too much for granted, and granted, most are doing just fine with his 'disappearance' I'd like to think some1 kinda wishes he was there to annoy them 1 more time.

The rain has started to fall *hint hint* and instead of feeling in control of 'A' situation desperation is starting to set in. I sit back and watch n1ggas lose they minds all the time. Stress, weed, and 'Great Expectations' will do that to most anybody. What a 'great' book btw... Gotta find that somewhere for other purposes.

Still it's a little weird watching the psychological effects take hold of some1 you've known to be 1 way your entire life, or period of time you've known them. It doesn't scare ME like I thought it would, it intrigues me. Chris falls apart, and most others fall into habits. At some point whatever your falling to (ie running from/to) can and will catch up to you. "People need hope..." right? So who's the 1 with it? Why always 1 I want a group of them b1tches.

At the moment if I laugh too hard I'll blow out all my stitches, my face healed okay and I'm super thankful for that I do plan on going back out there some day. Back to the topic, Grant trained the Granted Gang and they took everything for all it WASN'T worth. Now I'm stuck in the dirt that's turning to mud trying to make sense of it, sinking in my own mini flood (it's raining). I need water proof equipment, or just none at all. People may need to side eye me for my ability to part with 'awesomeness' so quickly and freely.

That leather couch though... I never parted from the souls I came to know. Might've discarded them at times but look down and ask yourself if I've been there... Honestly honesty is all we need. I'm somewhere fine for now, but I remember how it felt peeling myself off of that couch. Your's wasn't the only 1 I had to but it may have just been the last I'll gravitate to.

#nomadic if I have to be

and I've let twitter take over my blog... Social networking is something else. Got a lot of tucked F U's under my belt, but I won't hide behind numbers or hash tags. You'll feel what I've been saying, and then I'll be gone again.





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 -/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

HeroHaloIiiiiiiiiiiiiii

I can flip shit anyway I kick it to myself when I tune in to my fitted. I show others and they don't get it, understanding is quite missed. But still, I find my shield in my own solace. So fuck how you feel aint been change in my wallet since I dropped out of college. Like knowledge is something I don't need to acknowledge cause the gems they was dropping had no keys for unlocking my mind. Like a broke locket you wouldn't find a picture even if you knew the scripture to unlock it. I guess that doesn't mean it's broke just means you probably should've tried to spot it before you bought it and was the butt of this joke.




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If I remembered my rambling that cause this we might be onto something. Halo is ill though, that I know with confidence. Looking back I know I was hurt a lot of truth that normally wouldn't came out. Sooooooo that means pain. I'm tired of others hurting around me, and exhausted from the physical pain I feel that may or may not be in my head. Regardless my body hurts in places that leaves me less than wasted feeling like I'm nothing near basic but still tripping as if somebody laced it.



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-/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Just say it please

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I struggle with whether or not your listening, then I struggle with whether or not I'm wrong. Taken but not forgotten. Gone but not taken. Whatever. I'm here, taken or not. Never mind what my imagination says we are or could be, knowing that the reality is we could've been. The 1 I'm with clueless...

But I may not be with her or any1 for that matter, could be with you but then I'd really come across as foolish.


Time will tell I guess.

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Time is tight though. I'm patient.

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-/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Careful...

Appearance is important. Yet I do not care about appearance. I have a need to care about how you all see me appear to be in your eyes. Such is necessary for monetary purposes. Yet and still, I do not care. Simply because I don't know who I am to each of you individually, but I know it's not who I AM.

I was talking to a very beloved friend of mine and a concept of ownership was brought up (whether she knows it or not). Well, feelings and ownership... Basically it's not fair to say that I can't love what I can't/don't have. Word??? In the case of others and the image you uphold in your head, how can you really be sure you have the 1 you "fell in love with" anyway if the image you hold onto is the 1 in your head. Confusing...

Stay with me in my head things play out much more.... *sighs*

I am not the same person I was a day ago.

If the above statement is true, and it is. Imagine how much I've changed in a months time. 4 months. Half a year. Now a full year. Obviously we can continue on, but the point is I've changed a lot. For some of you while I know why I am appealing to you I question why I would remain so after all that we've been through. (Guilty)

I question if the person you miss is me, or if it is in fact the memory you had of me that I once fulfilled. Well, I don't question it I know that's what it is. That in itself hurts to come to terms with, but the truth is many of you would turn your noses up in disgust. While I'm stuck being disgusted with stuff I try to bury within me.

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Not a great feeling when you feel like you aren't you anymore. Even worse when you have to face those that loved the old you, in spite of the 1's that know the new you and aid your transformation daily.

Let me chill. I'm focused with what I want to say, just not sure it should be said. So I won't I'll chill, but I'm hurting. I don't think I've ever came out and said that outright, but that's what it is. I'm in so much pain. Some of it was just bad breaks, a lot of it self inflicted, hence why I haven't said anything. But f*ck even junkies need help, and well... Ya'll just pray for me when/if this ever gets to you.

I need to go find my own help, and I FEEL like I need things to help me deal with what I'm feeling. That alone is a terrible demon to deal with. I think about the things I was, or how I used to deal with discomforting pain and my memory conveniently fades. When it comes back in I realize it wasn't so much what I was doing, but who I was with. What I was doing didn't even matter but my pain has always been padded by the walls of my friends aka extended family.

Anyway I'm real dolo these days, so it's hard to care what some non exec n1gga thinks about what I look like when I'm surrounding myself by what makes me comfortable. I'm past the physical aspect of trying to appeal, and I've found that money really has no place for me at the moment. Bills will be paid the rest will be played with type of sh1t...


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Every1 seemed to forget how hard I go with my playful sh1t like I wasn't a playful kid through all this. Well, I have no problem jogging memories, I just hate jogging... Or any running for that matter. Know well that while doing what I hate, and at the same time giving you a taste I'm so far gone into what I just made. ... And n1ggas talk to me about drugs, well I'm off those.


I do get it now though (speaking to no 1 specifically) and my appreciation for 'it' has only risen. People are as fickle as can be, and I love people, what's that make me?

Nothing too deep, just a fickle people lover that can't let go... Or a teacher.




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-/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Nasty humble pie

haugh·ty   
[haw-tee] Show IPA
–adjective, -ti·er, -ti·est.
1.
disdainfully proud; snobbish; scornfully arrogant; supercilious: haughty aristocrats; a haughty salesclerk.
2.
Archaic . lofty or noble; exalted.




*understanding*


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-/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Looking into it... (pt.1)

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-/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

Lovely Dovey

I like Doves.

Direct result of witnessing very influencing media as a child, but nah, when I wake up and see doves I feel at peace (Guess what movie shaped this outlook for me). They say don't use 'very'... I listen because I'm a student of writing, but I don't agree. So like all things disagreeable, it goes on my blog. English is a tough 1 to get down though, so it's only right (in my eyes) to admire those who have an above average mastery of it.

#workinonit

Just don't look for it here lol.

Feels peaceful this morning and I love it. Got everything that needed to be done out the way before the sun kissed my eyes, and now that we are grossly involved in an intense make out session I feel it's best to pay attention to the little details. Can't be sloppy-moppin it up when I hit center stage. Which is to say I need to be on point before others can catch me leaning.

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Even the entries are back to being full of thoughtfulness and unknown unabashed hope for something greater. LOVE when I'm in this zone, and Rough n Rugged does too. I swear I forgot the name of my berry, and I apologize, we've been through too much to go out like this. Really. Time brings evolution, which is a fancy way of saying sh1t won't be the same it was a year from now. Accept it, dissect it (that's what I'm good at), and keep it moving in your lane right?

Gotta think of better names... Rubin is still good though.

I have some pretty awesome friends. Yeah, they're all female and yes that does cause problems, but I can't honestly complain. I've been stuck thinking about what I want and complaining about what I don't have. It's getting much easier to see what's in front of me and that's a blessing right there. Should they need something I would do my best to provide, but it's always been that way when I'm in a position to. For now, I hope my words and kind interactions suffice and when the time comes, their little 1's are going to have a positive male to look up to.

I have Jess and her family, which means I have family! More family lol, mine has been regulated to very small numbers. The thing about family is you can't get rid of them, you can't erase the fact that they are related to you. Extended family shouldn't be the same way, but in my heart I know what it is with those guys too. For now, I'm happy to say I got 2 G'd up little brothers. Lol they killers with you all (ladies), and that annoys many while allowing me to smile. Big plans for them. BIG PLANS. Jess, you may just be the craziest girl I've ever met. Maybe, but I love you.

Marley!! Haaaaa what else needs to be said after that? She's the biggest dookie this side of the map and she LOVES me like no other. I swear she has healing powers. Just acknowledging God's slyness.

Anyway productivity is the aim again today. I've started off alright, might have lost some time getting lost in my writing spell and then this entry... However it's okay. 1st game of the season tonight! OD excited, hardware year!! Wait, I have kids too! Little brothers and kids with kids... Wow.


Hinted about... a year ago (lmao dead*ss though look it up) gonna start doing some work with visuals. Got a special place for us to go and think on the abstract we see around us, and a place where English majors and professors can go to kiss my insanities ass. I want a living room with the best entertainment system installed in it for EVERY1! that's a lot more wishful thinking than it is a possible reality (I can't control what ya'll do, not even the reading of these words), but then again,I'm tired of people shooting down my imagination...

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I'm gonna rant for minute. Just because the harsh realities of life are all around us doesn't mean we have to succumb to them. Resiliency is a trait I've been proud to carry around with me, and until recently I let people chip away at it. That's wack in itself, but I know I fell victim of 'believing the hype'. Never again. I don't care how grim a situation looks I won't allow another's outlook to shape my own when I can't understand or agree with where they are coming from. Not malicious, its just I'm trying to build myself back up to where I feel I should be.

Margot told me to literally say what I was thinking out loud, and it wasn't pretty at all. I did learn that I had issues beyond where I was at currently though. It made me want to take a step back (and I did), reevaluate everything (check), and figure out the root of the problem... you know that caused the other problems to "sprout" (done). It is what it is (*or what it gotta be* ;) Ultimately, your going to either take, accept, or change your situation.

Damn I almost forgot starchasers lol they are by far the most OD of any fan base I've ever encountered, but I love them for their ability to connect in unison over a common goal. Definitely helped me through some nights. BluStar. whatup!!? All starchasers are welcome at any time.

Chris is doing what he's doing, living around those that are deceitful liars at best. I don't know how he puts up with it, cause I wouldn't but more power to him too.

I would LOVE a huge favor for any1 reading this, but specifically the people I interact on a regular basis (had to stop and think of if any of our interactions are very 'regular' based lol). If you could give me 1 of your favorite artists, and from that person 1 of their bodies of musical work to listen to. Doesn't matter what it is, album, compilation, mixtape, soundtrack, whatever. Just give me an artist of your liking, it'll make for some interesting convo's some time down the road.

Positivity positivity positivity! I'm positive staying in this mind state will elect greater happiness to the forefront of my existence for myself and those around me.

Musical pallet is now shifting very slowly from punk rock to a smoother softer country scene. Rubin is handling it all as I expected, and I thank him.

Writing... I'd like to say I've gotten, or am getting better, but I don't believe that to be the case. THAT sucks! Lol I'm not happy about laughing at myself due to my stagnancy with the pen and pad, but positivity will reign. As it WILL rain. prophetic type sh1t.

I am getting better at talking to myself. Lol sounds weird but that's exactly what it is. It's amazing what you can train your mind to do. adapting words at a rapid rate gives me a new kind of rush, and I can't wait to show some1 with some confidence. a week's worth of more time with myself and I may be ready. SMH I just thought of about 5 different ignorant scenarios that could occur due to my confidence in my brashness with words. They all seemed exciting (camera time).

Hungry, laundry, more writing. Gotta get it in, Ionno when you'll hear from me in the future again, but my past tells a story those close to me might be interested in. I mean 'Wild Misinformation' any1?? Sasha thank you 1,000 times for taking the time to read, and then comment lol I read and I don't like leaving comments, so I know. But thank you, it's greatly appreciated.

I have goals to set now. See me when you see me!

*Unedited cause we don't edit sh1t in the future*
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Silent Observer.

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Been crying to myself for 4 months now.

But

*I'm not gonna cry, not gonna cry....*

Anymore.

Open arms or cold backs?
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 -/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

wild misinformation

Stressed and sleepless overthinking weaknesses within us, while trying to forget saying "I give up". Not knowing what to do next regretting depending on you the way I do. Cause 'you' is cool, it's the bag of heavy luggage that your drudging through my good intentions that got me spent. Selfishness. I carry twice as much just to stay in touch, and you stay in touch with complaints aimed at me. Basically because the company I try to keep. "That's unfair" I always fix my mouth to speak those words, but no matter how right I think I am you retort it's something you don't deserve. I agree, reluctantly, but (curve)swerve with my nerves after being burnt by broken promises. Enthusiasm curbed, and we're both left a little more hurt than we previously were. While we decline to rewind back to learn. We rewind back and repeat the same acts, I guess it's more so 'lesson burned'. My weapon, my words. Earned by dissecting what's around me, cause jokes always found me. People always clowned me, I sunk down and soaked it in. Told myself if I could help it I'd never be soaked again. Grabbed a pen, got it in, and in time what I couldn't hold in hit you and that was never my intentions. Ever. But now, forever I'm stuck, thinking of violence and such that should have never been us. Ever!!



^
^'
^
It's finally here.

"Pay close f*cking attention..."


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-/Rebel2Society\-v(**)

On edge or close to it.

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 -/Rebel2Society\-v(**)