Now it's this, blame.. Yup, I do.


Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Thank you... Alcohol??

I think my consumption of alcohol is going to go way up, on some happy hour sh1t. Was never a problem before, but damn Tony Rock is convincing as hell. Now he's talking about weed... Uh oh. FAT TONY!
Jess didn't get the last whatever entry it was about Kansas and simultaneous blogging. I CAN WALK AND CHEW GUM! I found that out today believe it or not lol

I was checking my blog out from my phone. It looks *so muf*ckin' gorgeous!*  really happy at the moment. If you've been following me from the beginning you can see remnants of the very 1st blog everywhere, then there's the last version, now this... It's just right.

There comes a time in most every night I have to decide what I will or won't do. I wish I could always be deciding to do something but that's not the case. I'm not special or anything it's that way for most everybody I imagine.

I never understood why people will tell me what I meant when I said or stated something. The reason this it's so hard for me to understand is because I've never really been 1 to hold what I'm feeling back when I want to... No. When I've been ushered to the point of 'speaking up or out' I don't hold very many punches is what I'm saying. I don't mind being wrong, just as long as you can explain to me both angles. Goes back to the whole 'why' thing.

With that being said, and ironically having these situations fall into the same categories with the same people, I can't understand this. What reason do I have to lie when I say I was coming from a different perspective when I said something or wrote that?

It'd be difficult but I could break down why what where with anything you place in front of me that I wrote. I f*cking wrote it, don't play with me.

Or keep calling me a liar and see how far that ride gets us. I need relationships in my life and I'm aiming to have the most important 1 salvaged, so why I'm standing in my situation alone is beyond me. It's not about the glitz and glamor of being able to say I'm right. I just want to be happy. I'm working on myself so I can work on the other important things.

Important to understand.

An interaction just made me realize something. It doesn't matter what you do or how you do it if 1 already feels threatened and or disrespected. I realize that cursing with a smile on my face may be foreign to some, I'm just tired and unwilling to hold that part of me back anymore. Is that so bad?  I mean if it is, cool, agree to not be able to take what I have inside of me. Cause I'm clearly stating ya'll vagina's are too sensitive.

Now I'm quite angry.

I HATE when people ignore what I'm saying when by doing so they directly undermine the reason behind why I'm speaking. There are reasons for everything.

"That's what I get..."

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Or am I just... Senseless?