Now it's this, blame.. Yup, I do.


Sunday, June 13, 2010

Lost in Obsession

Reaching past the point of being annoyed right next to a meltdown preferring to take a blowup. I don't know I know I'm tempted with things that God must be placing in front of me to say 'Look your not invincible lil n*gga'.




Trying to be honest without being nonchalant about disregarding privacy. *deep breaths* I suppose it'll all work out in the long run right? Right...?

OD'n right now. I really want to rip some1's head off with my words Slim Shady style.

'Damned if I did damned if I didn't. I lost what I had planned and envisioned. A man with many women and if any women argue, I would stand with my pretty women. All, defending me.'


I kind of feel like that right now. I made a comment about 1 of my friend's earlier today, and that comment probably was taken the wrong way. I meant to convey a feeling of frustration with the current model for human interaction. I realize that most people would NOT have taken that from what I said.

'Late at night I'm alive. Dreaming about thoughts of yesterday. Screaming about my thoughts of yesterday. I wish I could talk to yesterday'


There are those things which I have tucked away deep inside, that I feel are issues that deserve to be addressed. I don't know if it'll happen 'publicy' or not, most likely not, but I DO need to man up and hold a view conversations. Being without my phone has allowed me plenty of excuses as to why I'm 'falling back' again, but I only wonder what the outcome will be when I'm very accessible.

Jean Grae makes me want to write dead*ss. I'm on a terrible streak with my pen lately. At least to me, I guess no1 else would know lol. I just might try to snap if the next song's instrumental is one of those 'heart tuggers'.



I don't really like this song.. I take that back the vibe wasn't what I was looking for... Maybe next time for you free mind.

Charles says his sh*t is done. I'm hyped, you should already know! So many questions I want answered but yo we'd be here all day lol. Stuff will be up on here as soon as I get it though. Speaking of Chuck and anticipating music. Where the f*ck is my All-City Chess Club I'm beamin remix!?

Lupe your doing it again, and its not cool my dude. Anyway I thought I'd have it like 3 weeks ago, but its looking like I'll have to exercise some MORE patience (or just listen to Recovery on repeat =) ). Funny Eminem's body of work should come up here. Much like Lupe did with his 'Enemy of The State' mixtape, Eminem's Recovery has forced me to redefine my definition of a skillful emcee.

Look back if you'd like, I went IN for Lupe after that mixtape dropped. The level of creativity and detail he used with his rhymes/metaphors on that joint were ridiculous. The level of mastery Eminem shows with his lyricism/flow is retarded. So yes, once again (my) hip hop world has been turned on its head.

My advice to any of those reading this, or remotely curious to what I'm talking about. Ignore the words I'm writing and give the music a chance. I'm just sick of the close mindedness I've been facing with music as of late lol.

Good music will prevail, I guess I look at the ups and downs of the music industry with the same slighted eye and wishful encouragement as I do with the human race.




I really try to have faith in humanity. Silly, I know but hey, I haven't been able to shake this naive way of thinking. Now take that and re-read the 1st quote. POW!

At this point, making fun of me will only isolate me more. Misunderstanding me will only confuse the confidence I've built up in you. I've tried giving EVERY1 a piece of what they asked for. At this point, I could cry about how genuinely angry/upset I get, or I can address it my way and move on.

I just don't want to be looked at as some1 who didn't try to appease those I care about.

"Quick to sober up but no I'm going in so..."

Is that 4 CH quotes in 1 post? Lol you have to forgive me I haven't even been listening to dude much the past few days. Besides the quotes come from the top of my head anyway... Go figure.


I'm having the most random of thoughts right now check it. Larry David teaching his pops how to smoke a joint lol hilarious.

Take a second to take a second glimpse opportunities missed but raised to never quit. Acceptance is something I can't get 1 minute it is the next its getting switched, for whatever's popping at the moment. I can't condone this. Morales, and princeables are the backbone of how I choose to live. I'm strong with a message depicted like the iron fist black glove cover. king of the flings, but an intimate lover. Tucked or uncovered you have to be the 1 to let me go. Smothered with my dreams and nothing else, and on call to help when It's a woman's touch I need to feel. I could get ill, but my will isn't used toward pushing what isn't real into position to go for the steal. Besides few accept me for me, they all expect me to be like everybody... Else. My genuine generosity spreads like moss to trees in a swamp. That's how they make me feel but me, naaah why show it flash a smile tuck the disdain. Conceal the realist emotions emotionless on the surface. you said 'good day' to the pain. Try to do them a service that usually goes unnoticed, kinda hurts. Then I remembered when i tucked my feelings I also tucked my worth. So no need to feel worthless plucked a happy memory in contrast with a sad 1. Just stay grounded that's why its compounded when your down, and I don't know how to take going about shutting you out just yet. Unless I forget my courage at the door, your in store for a beauiful ending, or an ugly beginning. I'm trying to defend actions that haven't occurred and the suspense I get from the potential events got me spazzing out on the low. Blowing up, getting up, shifting to a rougher state of mind...




Just went IN for no reason at all. Don't know what to make of that, maybe if it wasn't so 'confusing' more people might get it.


Where were we? I'm lost... The Mexican is on and all I can think about are the physical appearances of Brad Pitt and Julia Roberts.. Weird I know. Its just he looks so weird in this movie, and she looks so beautiful. I mean, damn look at this chick's eyes!

About to OD on some cinnamon/sugar toast. That's my ish right there! Super hungry still for those that saw the tweets. Time to wrap it up I can't focus anymore I'm 5000.


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